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Dealing With Our Own Human Frailties
By lindamuralidharan on 2010-09-02 20:08:12
Sometimes I think I am at a disadvantage because I chose history as my major in college. I chose it because it gave me an
excuse to study anything under the sun. I could study the history of a nation, the history of an era, or the history of a field
of interest such as music, agriculture, literature, naval warfare, art, religion or absolutely anything. Well, I could also blame
my father who always took us to see historical sites when we travelled around the Eastern United States from Boston to
Charlottesville, Va., to Gettysburg and wherever. Thus I forget that I remember things from history I can't expect others to
remember. Everybody was not a history major. I know I have forgotten more of history than I ever learned, but somehow I
do either recall a lot or find my memory easily jogged by a brief review of a subject or an era. Perhaps some have never
known or have completely put out of their minds the stereotyping of so many categories of people that characterize our
history. Roman Catholics were vilified and driven out of some of our early colonies. People of certain types were accused
of witchcraft. Certain Protestant sects were forbidden in certain colonies and people were even sentenced to death for the
wrong belief. And what if you were an atheist? Slaves, people immigrating from Germany, Italy, Greece..and again Roman
Catholics were vilified and discriminated against in later decades and centuries of our country's history. Can we forget the
treatment of women in the 19th century and the extent to which they were vilified if they spoke up for women's suffrage and
other rights? Do we forget how the Bible has been used to justify terrible injustices against Native Americans, women,
Roman Catholics, black people, gay and lesbian people, and even Muslims and Hindus? Have we forgotten the out and out
lies told about women or black people or Jewish people in the name of treating them as "other", as "less than" as
"dangerous" to the body politic and social fabric of our communities? Oh, yes, what prejudices, stereotyping, and severely
unfair discrimination have Jewish people experienced throughout our history? Or, thinking of Sacco and Vanzetti
(philosophical, ethnic, and political prejudice here), the Dreyfus case in France, the Japanese internment camps, do we think
these were foolish, absurd behaviors of bygone, less enlightened eras? The fact is that it is human to develop attitudes or
prejudices or stereotypical views of people who seem different form us or whom we do not understand. It is not a habit
limited to any one time in history or any one place. Certainly there was widespread distress in India when the British
discriminated against Indians based on the color of their skin. Indians could only hold certain, lesser positions in British
employ. They were not allowed to join the famous social clubs the British set up in all the cities they occupied. And
yet...even today amongst Indians themselves there are many who think that Indians with lighter shades of skin color are
better than or more acceptable than those with darker shades. They exhibit the same prejudices as the British oppressors.
Talk about stereotyping. Let me explain my recent experience on my own street. One night after dark I managed to fit my
compact car (via parallel parking) into a really tight space between two other cars in order to avoid having to park more than
a block from my house. As I got out, a fairly recent arrival to the neighborhood, a young father appearing to be in his late
twenties, gave me a huge compliment for parking in that spot. "I never thought you would be able to do it he said." We had
a pleasant conversation after that about whether skill comes just from practice or whether I was helped mightily by having to
parallel park in order to get a license years ago. I understand this requirement is not universal. Four days later, in broad
daylight, I parallel parked in an average sized space, routine so far as Iam concerned, while a male neighbor about my age,
long a resident of the same street, waited for me to finish so he could pass. As he passed, he hollered to me something to
the effect of "Hey, Linda! That was great..you are all right!" Can anyone picture a man calling out to another man to
compliment him on his parking skills? Can you believe it happened to me twice in the same week? Let me turn to teenagers
now. There are often heard general put downs of the teens of today (They don't know how to behave, they are always in
trouble), and an expressed desire to avoid their company. If an adult today operates out of these attitudes, he or she will
miss out on a lot of fun with some terrific people. The vast majority of teen behaviors are decent, even constructive
(especially when compared with some adults I know). Okay, I confess. Some of my best friends over the years have been
teens. For a long time our public debates in America have revolved around suspicions of Muslims as too different from us
for us to accept more than a token few in our midst. We have heard much rhetoric about strip searching all Muslims at
airports, about how "they" want to harm "us", or about many of their beliefs that we think are completely different from
ours. We hear very little about what we all have in common. I have just finished pointing out how a tendency to think like
this is just part of our make up as human beings. We all do it to one extent or another. At the same time, all of us have the
capacity to check our own thinking and our own impressions. We can read, visit people of different religions and
backgrounds, watch interesting tv programs about other cultures, and we can go to movies and lectures that offer insight into
different groups and their experiences. We can use new information and old skills to look at things in new ways.
Remember the old saying, "One swallow does not a summer make"? Or, "Judge not lest ye be judged." Yes, we have the
skills to stop so much group think and so much "group punishment". We have the ability as humans to look at people
different from us as individuals and to evaluate whether or not certain odd beliefs (by a friend or a church group or a cultural
subgroup or anybody), maybe even beliefs that could be hurtful to some, add up to a reason to reject the people who hold
those beliefs. We can check out the facts about how many people in another group actually hold certain beliefs or have any
intention of acting negatively. As humans we can choose to fuel up our positive sides or our negatives sides. Please
consider checking out any one or more stereotypes you know you typically buy in to. Don't think you need to defend
against some charge of racism or sexism or whatever. Rather, give yourself permission to be human...in all the ways you
can think of. And in the end, whatever negative thoughts or fantasies cross your mind, they won't matter if your words and
deeds are directed toward truth and fairness.
