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Can Children Lead the Way to Peace?
By maudeaster on 2020-10-02 09:30:23
This past spring Women Against War selected Anita Stanley as our Woman of Peace 2000, but sadly had to postpone
presenting the award when our Annual Meeting was cancelled due to the virus. Happily, we were able to present it in a
special on-line ceremony last month. We invited Anita to share her moving remarks from that evening in the guest post
below: Can Children Lead the Way to Peace? Guest Post by Anita Stanley Valentine's Day 2018.
Marjorie Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida. The horror of it all. This was the time and place where 17
students and staff were killed, in just one of too many school shootings. The children who survived this massacre did not
depend on adults to respond in the aftermath. They did not wait for government to step in and right the wrongs and set the
wheels of justice in motion. They formed their own response group — “Never Again MSD”. Led by David Hogg and
Emma Gonzales, these eenagers have tirelessly and bravely stood up to the NRA ever
since, as they advocate for gun control. Another goal of the group was to influence the 2018 elections, trying to facilitate the
election of legislators that would be open to gun control. They were wildly successful in that objective, helping to elect the
likes of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Anthony Delgado, and Ilhan Omar. I begin with thisexample, to illustrate my faith in
kids to influence social change. But first, they have to develop the mental framework that allows them to believe that they
can bring about change by peaceful means. Gandhi famously said, “If we wish to create a lasting peace, we must begin with
the children.” So true. In a preschool that I visit for my work, the staff practices a unique way of problem-solving. The first
time I witnessed this, 2 little ones, about 2 years old, were having a major disagreement, maybe about a toy, or perhaps they
wanted to claim some precious territory. The general rule with adults who are drawn into this kind of conflict, is to separate
the kids, grab something to soothe the child, etc. - but usually the main goal is to calm the child down, and reduce the upset
and noise level, rather than to facilitate some kind of productive and peaceful problem-solving. Peace-making is hard
work! But in this instance, the teacher got right down on the floor at the level of the kids, and used words, gestures, facial
expressions — any kind of communication, to help the kids learn to share, to take turns, to use their own powers to work their
way through | life's problems. If f they w were adults, we might say they learned to use “Words Before
eapons”. The kids in this early childhood center are taught that difficulties can be
solved without tipping over the sand table, throwing buses loaded with tiny figures, or physically taking out one of their
peers. But in order for kids to learn this pattern of behavior, they have to be involved in it over and over again, every day, so
that they are enveloped in an atmosphere of acceptance, respect and reconciliation. Their brains are still plastic at this age,
and the earlier we start, the easier it is to make a difference. To move on to older kids, 3 and 4 year olds, it is important to
highlight the efforts of the Early Headstart and Headstart programs. One of their goals is to educate kids in exactly these
techniques. For example, in every classroom, there are small laminated ring binders that are kept in an easily accessible
place in the classroom, that contain 4 or 5 drawings with a word or two matching each picture. Each page illustrates a
problem-solving technique, such as kids putting their names on a sign-up sheet to do an activity that only one person can do
at a time, or ways to cope when they really want to sit next to their best friend, but someone else is already there. Each day
is filled with practice over and over again - of the use of empathy, communication, and peaceful means to solve life's
challenges. The long-term statistics for Headstart generally show that the academic advantage provided by the program
when it's happening, doesn't last in the long term. The things that do show a definite difference between Headstart and non-
Headstart children, are markers such as number of arrests, percentage of children finishing high school, number of
suspensions in high school, etc. Exposure to the possibility and the routine of using peaceful problem-solving strategies and
techniques, thinking before acting, using words instead of physical means, etc., plays out in better outcomes for these kids
way past the age of preschool. Today we observe a culture of violence that
plays out in police brutality, school shootings, and continuation of the pattern of endless wars. Toy guns are given to kids as
birthday gifts, and “Call of Duty” leads the list in sales of video games. Unless the seeds of peace can be planted and
cultivated in young children, they may grow up to embody the values of violence and force, rather than peaceful conflict
resolution. JFK once said, “War will exist until that distant day when the conscientious objector enjoys the same reputation
and prestige as the warrior does today.” We need heroines and heroes for our kids to look up to, that are peacemakers, not
warriors — people like Martin Luther King, Jr., Bayard Rustin, and Malala. We need to “bathe” our young children in
environments of peaceful interaction, mutual respect, and acceptance. But we need to start early — even a baby will imitate
what they see, hear, and sense. Let's all be peaceful heroes and heroines for our little ones, and teach them how to be the
peacemakers of tomorrow.
