Check for web archive captures
Susan Retik's Speech on the Boston Commons, September
11, 2011, A Model of Reconciliation not Revenge
By mickielynn on 2011-10-06 19:59:05
w@a[/caption] On the anniversary of the end of the 10th year of our war in
Afghanistan it seems fitting to print this beautiful and inspiring speech given by one of the co-founders of Beyond the 11th.
Her name is Susan Retik. She spoke at the September 11th remembrance event in on the Boston Commons after a bike ride
to raise funds for her organization. This is what her cousin, Alice Brody, said about her: "Susan lost her husband, David,
who boarded Flight 11, the first plane to crash into the World Trade Center. She was pregnant at the time with her 3rd child.
Susan turned her unimaginable grief into finding solace by connecting to Afghan widows half-way across the world, with
whom she shared a similar loss. She and Patti Quigley, another widow, founded the organization, Beyond the 11th, which
supports more than 10,000 widows today in learning skills to become self-sufficient and support their children. For those
who are interested in learning more, you can click on the link below." http://Awww.beyondthellth.org/ Three days ago I
stood at Ground Zero the very spot where 10 years ago my husband David’s life, along with thousands of others, ended so
abruptly. Looking down on that sacred ground, once a crater of destruction now springing to life - the towers are under
construction, and the beautiful 9/11 Memorial is complete, I was overcome by feelings of loss, anger and helplessness. How
is it possible that Dave, a wonderful husband, father, son, brother and friend had his life cut short at the age of 33? How is it
possible that he never met his beautiful daughter, Dina and that he didn’t live to see the incredible young people that our
children have become? But feelings are complicated because I also felt pride, happiness, love and strength. I knew within
the first few moments of widowhood that I would move forward. I would not get stuck in a place of anger and hate. Dave
would not have wanted me to focus on death but instead to look toward the future -toward life. My fellow riders and I have
had an exhilarating three days winding our way through the streets of Manhattan, up the hilly suburbs of Connecticut, and
ever northward to Dover, MA. There we were joined by 150 other cyclists as we continued here to the beautiful banks of the
Charles River. It is good to be home! But our journey was not easy. We encountered, many obstacles along the way, flat
tires, huge hills, leg cramps and pure exhaustion. But just like in life, we made a series of choices along the way. We chose
to continue to move forward — one pedal at a time. Even when we thought we didn’t have an ounce of energy left, we
encouraged each other, we supported one another, we banded together and made what at times seemed like the impossible
possible. That generosity of spirit buoyed us up - literally pushing us over the tough hills until we achieved our goal of
standing here today. 10 years since 9/11, I clearly recognize the power of this kind of support. After Dave was killed, I was
rescued by the love of my family, my friends, and hundreds of strangers I would never meet, who showered us with cards
and letters and gifts filled with compassion and support. People cooked us meals, sent us beautiful handmade quilts. A
neighbor cut my grass week after week. The list goes on and on. Those acts of kindness became a lifeline. They became a
blanket of safety and security that allowed me to pick up my head and move Beyond the 11th. That type of support enabled
me to pause and look across oceans and continents to widows in Afghanistan. Although they live thousands of miles away in
a culture that couldn’t be more different than ours, I couldn’t help but think who supports these women when their husbands
die? Who will help lift them out of hopelessness and despair? I knew that I could help just one. That was the initial idea of
Beyond the 11th. Provide support for one widow and her children the way so many had reached out and helped me. Help a
woman in a different country, who had been affected by the very same terrorist network as my family, my country.
Fortunately, we have been able to help many more than just one. When people first learn about the work of Beyond the 11th,
they sometimes ask, why help them over there? Initially, I was surprised at this response but I have come to realize that often
our first reaction is to see the differences in people. When you focus on all that is different, it is much easier to be indifferent
and look away. Once you notice the similarities, it is much easier to recognize that people everywhere are simply trying to
move through this life with dignity and in peace. When I had the opportunity to go to Afghanistan and meet many women
who, just like me, had been widowed at a young age, who were trying to raise families the best that they could, I realized
that the common thread of motherhood makes us far more alike than different. I have looked these women in the eyes and
seen myself in them. Perhaps they have looked me in the eye and seen themselves reflected there too. J am a mother who
wants my children to live in peace and security, to have access to healthcare and education. I want my children to grow up to
be happy, kind, successful, people in this world. I believe I would want these things for my children whether I was born here
in the United States or inAfghanistan. These ideals are not American. They are human. They are universal. The work of
Beyond the 11th is not simply the act of serving one widow at a time, it is also the surest way I know to help fight the
despair and disenfranchisement that so often lead to terrorism. We are not going to win the war on terror simply with bombs
and bullets. We can’t literally force the world to be our friends. We must actively befriend the world. We must look outside
our borders and recognize that we are all connected. To think otherwise is foolish. 9/11 created an exceptional moment of
unity in our country, and for me, it forever changed my life. It caused me to pause, to consider those beyond our borders. It
brought into great focus that indifference to our shared humanity allowed the 9/11 terrorists to do what they did. Faced with
that indifference, I could respond in kind — I could turn inward and reject everything that seems foreign and unknown. Or I
could choose action, just as so many people across our country chose action in reaching out to me, a woman they did not
know. I chose to use the loving energy that had cradled and lifted me up in the darkest moments of my life, and somehow
put it out into the world. Ten Years ago today, we lost so much. But we are not here just to remember those great losses. We
are also here to recognize the Decency, the Bravery, and the Love that grew out of catastrophe. In ten years, so many have
done so much to overcome the hatred of a few. Today we celebrate that spirit of selflessness. We celebrate all the humble
acts of caring by strangers for those in need. Because in the end, none of us really are strangers. We are all connected. We
must all be caretakers of our shared humanity. On this day of remembrance, I remember my husband, David, I remember.
On this day of remembrance, I know Love and Wish for Peace. Thank you.
