WHY NOT GET BILL CLINTON'S REACTION?
Publication Date: 09/23/02
OFF THE RECORD
By HERB BROCK
Staff Writer
Gov. Paul Patton's emotional confession Friday of his affair with
Hickman County nursing home owner Tina Conner triggered a
mammoth media search for reaction. Reaction from Patton's family
members. Reaction from state officials. Reaction from state
employees. Reaction from the pets of Patton's family members, state
officials and state employees. And reaction from John Q. and Jane Q.
Public.
But what about reaction from William J. Clinton? Why haven't any
media types tried to get the opinion of the former president? He seems
to be giving his opinion on everything under the sun, so why not ask
him about something he really knows about?
After all, there have been parallels drawn between Clinton's affair with
Monica Lewinksy and the way he handled it and Patton's affair with
that woman, Tina Conner, and the way he has handled it. Both lied at
the beginning, but while it took Patton a few days to come clean after
phone records showed he had kept Sprint or some other long-distance
carrier in business, it took Clinton months to fess up, until a stain ona
blue dress left a permanent stain on his record.
And it's interesting, albeit just coincidental, that Conner's hometown is
named Clinton.
| guess no one has the nerve to contact the former prez for his view of
how a fellow unfaithful politician has dealt with an affair gone public,
including me. But | have this feeling that when Clinton saw a tape of
Patton's sobbing appearance on CNN, he probably said this, in that
raspy Razorback drawl of his, to Hillary, or whoever was with him in the
bedroom:
“Damn, he’s g-o-o-d! | mean, when | finally parsed the truth, | blinked
my eyes to squeeze out some tears and bit my lower lip to look as
much as | could like a little choir boy who got caught with a Playboy
under my robe, but this Patton fellow turns it on. Chokin’ up.
Blubberin’. Boo-hooin’. He’s down with the confession act.
"And he was able to get at least some of his family members and staff
members to hug him afterward. Nobody was there with me when |
came forward. Well, | did notice that his wife wasn't there. Just like with
Hillary, his PR people probably told Mrs. Patton that she needed to cry
like a crocodile, not behave like one in front of the TV cameras.
"But I'm disappointed that he only kept up his lyin' for a few days. So
what if that Louisville paper found phone records showing he called
that Conner babe 400 times? So what if he had called her 4,000 times?
He could have said he cared about the elderly in our society, so much
so that he felt he had to talk to each one of the residents of that
nursing home at least twice a day.
"And even if he felt like he had to admit the affair, he should have
immediately, after getting a gigantic sponge to wipe that tidal wave of
phony tears away, gone after her and demonized her. He should have
immediately labeled her as a stalker.
"Those tears were damn good but Patton needs a few lessons in spin."
Thanks, Bill, for your take on the Patton situation. Now here's my spin,
as well as some observations and predictions:
* Every week the governor's office sends to the media a copy of
Patton's travel schedule for the period. Unless his itinerary includes
stops in this area, the press release becomes scratch paper. But |
wonder if we had been paying closer attention to his schedule whether
we would have noticed a lot of "ribbon cuttings" in Hickman County?
* Look for the Rev. Jesse Jackson to be pulling into the parking lot of
the governor’s mansion in Frankfort in the near future. In Jackson,
Patton will get a two-for-one deal: a counselor who knows first-hand
about the subject of the counseling.
* Look for Larry Flynt to be pulling into the parking lot of the Kentucky
Republican Party in Frankfort in the near future. If the GOPs start
preaching about the moral laxity of the Democratic governor, the
expert in filth has the skill to find the dirt on Republican finger pointers.
Just ask the House Republicans who were outed for their moral
dalliances after they went after Clinton.
* While my Clinton character was making fun of Patton's tears and
saying they were fake, they probably were real. If | knew my dream of
becoming U.S. senator had been virtually flushed down the toilet, I'd
have cried, too. If | knew | was going to encounter the rage and wrath
and rolling pins of Big Judy Patton at home, I'd have bawled -- and then
asked to be assigned to the witness protection program as far away
from Pikeville as possible.
* At least Patton not only admitted his affair after just a few days but
he also did not blame a "vast, right-wing conspiracy" or anyone or
anything else, like a certain aforementioned fellow Southern politician
did.
* But | think Patton needs to do more than just admit he had an affair.
He needs to pay for it. Monetarily, if not politically. Unless he was using
his own phone card or otherwise paying for the bills out of his own
pocket, the governor needs to reimburse the state for the cost of what
turned out to be the smoking gun -- those 400-plus calls he made to
Conner that kept the one phone wire in Hickman County hot.
* If Patton covers the phone bill, if he hasn't already, and if the
investigation shows that he did not, as Conner has alleged, use his
office to reward her nursing home business and then, after she broke
off the affair, punish it, then it's case closed for me. This talk of
resignation is tad much, especially considering the fact that the
governor only has 14 months left in his term.
The gov screwed up big time. But he has confessed and apologized.
Besides, resigning is nothing compared to the job that faces Patton,
perhaps for the rest of his life.
He will have to repair the hurt he has done to his wife and family. He
will have to rehabilitate himself politically if he ever hopes to have a
future in politics. He will have to realize that he has been publicly
humiliated and, thus, no longer has the right to swagger around the
commonwealth.
A little humility is good for any big-headed politician, and it may even
make Patton a better governor. After what's happened, at least so far,
he should have learned that he needs to spend more time on the
affairs of state and less on the affairs of the heart.
