Siz
Ane
Crimson and White
Sophomore Issue
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HH
February 1920
Milne High School, Albany, 2. V.
Se
Contents
Literary Department
A School Episode...
The Cow.’.
Alice's Joke.
Editorial....... +
School Notes........
Alumni Notes,......... Gale Macher kvelee coca wenn Gabvanwewe sy ys’
Societies
Quintilian Literary Society... 59
Zeta Sigma Literary Society, . 60
Adelphoi Literary Society . 60
AUhleHOINOER. a wesiinaccanerenurmnereeaiaaunnenennis anon ener e ee tT 61
Exchanges.........+5 He age nee eae a plane elena gene eeeleeleeleelele aa alealainina ale » 63
65
Rensovand Humor s ovsvecnctnndhaensantnse navereeoostaeunaaiaaelentteay ,
THE CRIMSON AND WHITE
Vol. XVI FEBRUARY 1920 No. 3
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—VWSInMdqae
A SCHOOL EPISODE
Silence fell on the study hall, so unusual, so ominous, that all
eyes turned expectantly toward the platform. The principal stood
there, his face dark and stern. A sudden fear seize | the minds of
the students, and they almost felt sorry for themselves although
they knew not why.
“Something of an extremely serious and inexcusable nature has
occurred!” began he of the severe countenance. They all glanced
wonderingly at one another, and then turned their eyes again to the
speaker. ; :
“Some one has been inexcusably irreverent to such a degree—’’
‘Their amazement increased as the words continued.
“So unpatriotic in such an unheard of manner—committed such
a grave misdemeanor calling for no punishment other than instant
suspension—or, more properly, expulsion.
All the pupils gazed around the room in utter astonishment.
What could it mean? Again their attention turned toward the
principal.
52 THE CRIMSON AND WHITE
“_And so irreverant, I repeat, to the father of his country, as
to remove the bust of George Washington from its accustomed pedestal and to
place in its stead a dishpan."
On the last word, without warning, and with one accord, the
whole assembly burst into an uproar of laughter.
Suddenly, however, it became quiet again as the principal con-
tinued:
“There is no occasion for such unwonted hilarity. All means
will be taken to discover the offender and to have him duly punished;
and if thisor any similar occurrence takes place again, there will be--”
But no one heard the rest; all were pitying the culprit, whoever
he might be.
‘The principal walked up one aisle and down another, address-
ing a question to each boy in turn and receiving without exception
a firm and decided ‘‘no”’ in reply.
Wouldn’t the offender acknowledge his guilt? Could they
blame him if he did not?
Suddenly a senior arose
‘Sir, I believe the janitor removed the bust of George Wash-
ington and placed in its stead a dishpan because ‘here was a leak in
the roof.”
Well, it would be useless to attempt to describe the ensuing
scene. But now the principal knows what there is to a matter before
he speaks about it; and George Washington smiles benignly from
his pedestal for the leak in the roof has been mended.
Dewitt C. Zeu, ’22
- *-
THE COW
Oh cow! how canst thou be so satisfied,
So well content with all things here below,
So unobtrusive, and so sleepy-eyed,
So meek, so lazy and so awful slow?
Dost thou not know that everything is mixed,
That naught is as it should be on this earth,
That grievously the world needs to be fixed,
That nothing we can gain has any worth,
The times are hard and life is full of care,
Of sin and trouble and untowardness,
That love is folly, friendship but a snare?
Bah! cow, this is no time for laziness.
The cud thou chewest is not what it seems.
Get up! Tear ‘round and quit your lazy dreams.
SYLVIA EsTaBRooK, '22
THE CRIMSON AND WHITE 58
ALICE’S JOKE
Alice Miller came running up the terrace from the lake. She
was furious. Her brother, Tom, and his friends had refused abso-
lutely to let her go with them on the hike up Bull Hill mountain.
Alice knew that in the evening her brother intended to take Mildred
Allen in the auto to the Country Club dance. She had been plan-
ing revenge, and the more she thought about it, the mo.e determin-
ed she grew to carry out her plans.
Suddenly she stopped and looked around. From where she
stood she could see the lake plainly. A boat carrying one passen-
ger was coming swiftly across it. As it touched the shore, the man
jumped out and dragged the boat half-way up on the sand. The per-
son that Alice saw was a young ch p with dark curly hair and ve-y
black eyes. He was tall and his kind, pleasant face was brown from
recent sunburn.
Alice was a very impulsive girl, and so, instead of calling to
him or asking h’s name, she ran as fast as she could down to the
shore of the lake to meet him. When the young man saw a pretty
girl coming down the steps to m:et him, he stopped short inh’s
tracks and smiled in a somewhat surprised fashion.
“Can you drive an auto?” she questioned without waiting to
get her breath.
“Why, yes, I can,’’ answered the young man.
“Tf I tell you this,” said Alice, “you must do exactly as I say
and not mention it to anyone. I will pay you all my months al-
lowance.
The man looked uzzled at first, but seeing how anxious she
was to carry out her plans, he promised to do as she said and to
enter into the adventure. Alice explained that she wanted to play
a joke on her brother, Tom. In order to get revenge she wanted
him to take the auto out that evening to prevent her brother from
using it. She would give him the key to the Miller garage, and he
must come after dark and quietly take the car and drive out the
back way. He was to keep the car out a few hours and then return
it to Williams’ garage at 320 Main Street in the village. She ex-
plained that the Williams were friends of the family.
“‘Are you sure you can get the car away without being heard?”
she asked.
“Yes. I can drive and will return it safely, but where is your
garage?”
She told him that the Miller’s garage was situated some dis-
tance back of the house so that the noise of the engine would not be
54 THE CRIMSON AND WHITE
noticed. The young man agreed to do his best and said that he
would see her at the post office the following morning.
That evening as Alice climbed into bed, she thought of what a
good joke it would be on her brother. Her thoughts were also of a
handsome young man with dark curly hair.
When she awoke on the following morning, all the family were
down stairs earlier than usual. Alice dressed quickly and ran down
into the breakfast room. The family were all talking excitedly, and
her father looked very anxious.
“Alice”, explained her father, “the car was stolen last night.
Someone has broken the window in the garage and run away with
the car. I have notified the police and they are now trying to find
it.”
Alice sank down into the nearest chair. She was surprised and
disappointed to think that such a nice reliable young man should
steal the car. Then she thought of what the young man had said
as he left her yesterday. Perhaps he would come to the postoffice.
She had to go there anyway and would look for him.
Alice arose from the chair and announced her intention of going
to the village for the mail. When she approached the postoflice,
she saw no young man. With her courage at low ebb she entered the
office and asked for her letters andpapers. There were none for her.
As she turned, the young man entered the office and came toward
her with his hand outstretched and a smile on his face.
“The car is safe, Miss Miller,” he told her, “I returned the car
to Williams’ garage last night. If you will walk over with me, I
will drive you home.”
Alice’s father was bewildered to see his daughter come riding
home in the stolen car with a strange man.
“Why Bob, old pal!”’ hailed Tom, ‘‘when did you arrive?”
Then Alice learned that her hired chauffeur was Tom’s college
friend. The family gathered on the porch, and Alice told her joke,
explaining how she had met Bob and asked him to take the car out.
Her people were all amazed at her story but realized that her joke
had saved the car from the robbers.
ELIZABETH KENNEDY, ’22
SS
“To love one’s self is the beginning of a life-long romance.”
Sete
“If all our misfortunes were laid in ne common heap, from
which everyone must take an equal portion, most people would be
content to take their own and depart.”
THE CRIMSON AND WHITE
Vol. VI ALBANY, N. Y., FEBRUARY, 1920 No. 3
Published Every Two Months During the School Year by the Students of the M. H. 8.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION
One year (5 copies) payable in advance
Ne
+ 80.75
Single copies
BOARD OF EDITORS
Edltor-in-Chiet
ELEANOR L, ABRAMS, @. L. 8, "20
Assistant Editor
HELEN KIRTLAND, Q. L.
KATHERINE NOLAN, Zeta Sigma, ‘20.
EMILY BARROWS, @. 1.
CHARLOTTE STUPPL!
LAVINIA ROBA, Zeta Sle
Jf Literary Editors
+,Sehool Editor
Alumni Editor
{ doke Editors
} Exchange Editors
Junlor High School Editors
SAYLES, Adelphol, Business Managers
WILLIAM. COMSTOCK, Adelphol,
HARRY ELLIS, Adelphol, "20,
STANLEY TAYLOR, Adel
MARGARET SKINNER,
MARION O'CONNOR, @. L
DOROTHY HAMBA
LEO BARRETT, Adelp!
‘a2,
Advertising Agents
Athletic Editor
Probably the day which, next to Christmas, birthdays and the
Fourth of July, is the dearest to the hearts of most children is St.
Valentine’s Day. What fun they have cutting out hearts, cupids,
and darts from blood red paper; and after much pasting and labor-
ious printing, what sport it is to put one of these remembrances, so
called Valentines, under some friend’s door and to run away with-
out being seen. Even young people and grownups enjoy themselves
onthis day. Their fun, however, usually takes the form of parties
and dances where the decorations and frequently the costumes con-
sist of the same vivid red hearts and pink cheeked cupids which seem
to symbolize the day. Strangely enough, though, everyone appears
re
56 THE CRIMSON AND WHITE
to take the day for granted; very seldom does anyone question its
meaning or how the custom of observing it began.
It has been generally understood that the fourteenth of Feb-
ruary, which is called St. Valentine’s Day was so called after a cer-
tain man who was martyred at Rome many, many years ago. Noth-
ing definite is known about this, but it is quite certain that the
thought connected with the day grew out of something else. ong
ago people believed that on the fourteenth of February the birds
always choose their mates. A custom was established in England
and Scotland by which on this day each young bachelor and maiden
received by lot a person of the opposite sex to be his or her ‘“‘valen-
tine” for the coming year. This was a sort of mock betrothal and
was marked by the exchange of presents. It is also said that this
same exchange of remembrances or gifts took place between the
married couples.
From this custom has probably come our present observance of
the day, and it is, indeed, a pleasing practice if we exclude that
form of valentine which has arisen in the past few years consisting
of ludicrous and often vulgar caricatures. There are many other ex-
planations of this celebration but this seems quite as probable as
any, for the most frequent of the sentiments, which we receive on
the fourteenth of February is,
“Will you be my Valentine?”
We have all passed the half-way mark in this school year now
and it’s time to begin to think of our finals in June. It seems rather
early, doesn’t it, but didn’t most of us wish we had thought a little
sooner last semester?
The seniors especially have got to buckle down and work a lit-
tle harder. Go to it, seniors! You have the making of a record
breaking class.
Of course, the other classes have need of a little exertion, too,
but we’re none of us going to work so hard that we can’t enjoy our-
selves. Trust it to Milne people to have a good time!
——— =
The Board of Editors wish to announce that the story in the
last issue of the paper entitled ‘One of 150,000” was written by
Helen B. Kirtland, ’21. | The name of the author was omitted by
mistake.
THE CRIMSON AND WHITE 57
| i
Wer 2 Ss &
Tm
SCHOOL NOTES
We enjoyed two weeks of fun during Christmas vacation and
eame back to school only to prepare for those hated exams. Some
came out gloriously and, as usual, passed everything. Others, who
did not do quite so well, have decided that th_y must work harder
the last semester.
Although we were sorry to part with our old teachers, we know
it was necessary and were rather anxious to have the second semes-
ter start, so that we might become acquaint d with our new in-
structors.
The freshman girls have been having a very busy time of late.
A few weeks ago, the Quin girls took them on a sleighride. They
went to Catherine Phibbs’ home, where they were very nicely enter-
tained. The Friday after Christmas vacation, the Sigma girls gave
a little party for them.
Dances seem to be the main topic this year in Milne High.
The first one in order was the Junior dance, which was held Feb-
ruary 14 in the college gymnasium.
Adelphoi is planning a dance for the latter part of February or
the first part of March. The Athletic Association is also planning
one for the early part of March. The final arrangements have not
been made for either one of these dances, however.
Milne has made a splendid record at basketball this year (see
Athletic Notes). The games have been well worth seeing. Let’s have
everybody out to every game during the rest of the season. Show
the boys we’re backing them—incidentally you'll see a good game
and have a fine time at the dancing afterwards.
a
“Money is a good servant, but a bad master.’’
states ce as
“Many a live wire would be a dead one if it weren’t for the
connections.”
58 THE CRIMSON AND WHITE
ALUMNI NOTES
Eleanor Dunn, ’14, Q. L. S., is teaching in Ft. Covington, New
York.
Francis Vosburgh, ’14, is technologist in a laboratory at Hart-
ford, Conn.
Harriet Tedford, 14, Q. L. S., was recently married.
Lillian Magilton, 14, Zeta Sigma, is teaching on Long Island.
Elmetta Van Deloo, 14, Q. L. S., is teaching home economics
on Long Island.
Gordon Wright, 19, a member of Adelphoi, recently visited at
school. He is taking a course at Syracuse University.
Florence Emerick, ex-’20, is attending the Albany Business Col-
lege.
Donald P. Booth, former member of the class of ’21 and of
Adelphoi, now lives at Patchogue, L. I.
Ethel Bender, ex-’21, and Gertrude Nares, ex-’20, members of
Zeta Sigma, are attending the Albany Business College.
Lillian Smith, ’16, a member of Zeta Sigma, is attending Russel
Sage College.
Joseph Garry, ex-’20, is attending the Albany Business College.
Ray Flood, ex-’22 is attending the Albany High School.
The engagement of Mildred Birdseye, 15, a member of Q. L.
S., to Walds Whitney was recently announced.
Mazie Buckmaster, ex-’21, a member of Zeta Sigma, is spending
the remainder of the winter in Oklahoma.
Edward Brandow has been elected secretary and treasurer of
the Alumni of the Delta Upsilon Fraternity.
Mr. and Mrs. William Meyer and daughter Helen, of Syracuse,
recently visited Mrs. Meyer's mother, Mrs. L. J. Gale, of Albany.
Mrs. Meyer was Miss Florence Gale, a member of the class of 1913
and of Zeta Sigma.
THE CRIMSON AND WHITE 59
Esther Marshman, ex-’22, a member of Q. L.S., is residing in
Washington. D.C.
Gladys Herrick, ’19, a member of Q. L. S., has obtained a posi-
tion at Pommer’s.
Alice Cain, ex-’21, is attending Miss Comfort’s School.
Mr. and Mrs. William Kurz announce the birth of a son on Jan-
uary 31. Another student for Milne High School. Mrs. Kurz was
Miss Marion Becker, a member of the class of 1918 and also a mem-
ber of Zeta Sigma.
The engagement of Miss Hilda Comstock, 18, a member of Zeta
Sigma, to Allen Merselis, ’17,a member of Adelphoi, has been an-
nounced. Miss Comstock is now teaching school.
te dee
ESS.
QUINTILIAN LITERARY SOCIETY
Due to the terrifying ‘mid years”, we have had little time dur-
ing the past month to devote to social affairs. Our programs have
been made very interesting, however, with stereoptican slides, joke
papers and various special features.
Several weeks ago Quin had her election of officers for the sec-
ond semester, and the following girls took the oath of office:
Eleanor Abrams. .. ... President
Helen Kirtland. . ice-President
Emily Barrows............... Recording Secretary
Miriam Snow.. ..........Corresponding Secretary
Velma Risley............sseeeeeee eens ‘Treasurer
Dorothy Hamburger..... . . Mistress of Ceremonies
Frances Tompkins............... Neen . Critic
Marion Nichols ... Pianist
Martha Lomax ... Marshall
.Senior Editor
Junior Editor
.Cheer Leader
Eleanor Fraser .
Catherine Phibbs
Marion O’Connor.
es
“Tt must be true as reported that jazz is dying. There is no
other way to account for the weird noise it makes.”’
|
\,
|
60 THE CRIMSON AND WHITE
pss
ZETA SIGMA
Sigma meetings were always fine, are now still better, and in
the coming year will become the best ever.
On Friday, January the ninth, Sigma gave her annual rush for
the girls. After luncheon in the cafeteria we all enjoyed a good
time in the gymnasium. We are now looking forward to the initia-
tion of the freshman girls, which will take placein February.
Sigma gave a sleighride February the sixth for the members
only.
The officers for the second semester are
Tavenia ROsa ec tna va ones oe cearen President
Virginia: Balle csiiane casas ace oes Vice-President
Katherine McKinlay...
Esther Bradt........
Marjorie Wilbur......
Florence LeCompte. .
Frances Walsh. . .
.... Recording Secretary
Corresponding Secretary
Treasurer
. Senior Editor
stress of Ceremonies
Florence Ball... - Marshall
Muriel Daggett...... ....Critie
Helen Wurthman. .... Facaneeitnras nor Pianist
—HeM. Bs. 21
———
ADELPHOI
The meetings of Adelphoi have continued to be very interest-
ing this year. The society is sorry no longer to have the hearty
support of Richard Van Laer, James Spoor and William Beverage,
who have left school.
The Adelphoi dance will take place the middle of March. The
sleighride will be held early in March also.
Active plans are being made for the annual Adelphoi Day pro-
gram to be held soon.
|
THE CRIMSON AND WHITE 61
Milne Won 13, Lost 5
Well! well! well! Who says Milne hasn’t made a wonderful
showing in the basketball circles this season. Despite many ob-
stacles we have turned out a team to be proud of. The boys have
played against teams coming from schools having seven and eight
times the number of students, yet the Crimson and White has won
many a victory for Milne.
Milne 38—Watervliet 18
How could we have done such a thing? Wasn't it a shame to
treat them so harshly when they came all the way from Watervliet
to Albany? We hated to do it, but you see we could not help it.
“Hank” Metzger starred as usual, but say, didn’t little Tommy do
some playing! We'll say so!
Milne 38—C. B. A. 18
On Friday, January 9, Milne met the fast Christian Brothers
Academy team which has been defeating Milne with seeming regul-
arity. But this year Milne returned the compliment. The game
was exceptionally fast and clean owing to the carefulness of Referee
Springmann and the team work of the boys, which was, quoting
Mr. Polt, “‘good—at times.” The guarding of Pete Sexton was the
outstanding feature of the game.
Milne 72—St. Joseph’s 18
We were certainly there when St. Joseph’s made their appear-
ance on the floor, but after that we couldn’t see St. Joseph’s. You
see, first we put the regulars in, then after they got tired, the young-
sters from our second team. Everyone on the team scored at least
six points. Some team! ‘Dave’’ Kirk got mad and scored seven
62 THE CRIMSON AND WHITE
baskets and broke up all the defense plays of the opposing team.
Get mad every game, Davie. We like it.
Milne 20—Amsterdam 13.
Having heard so much about the champions of the Amsterdam
High School, we were greatly surprised and delighted when we were
able to beat them, in an exciting game, January 23.
From start to finish, although greatly outweighed, the Crimson
and White proved the better team. Our team work has improved
decidely and it worked wonders this time. After the first half,
Amsterdam never had a chance. Metzger was the big scorer, but
Sexton and Grady starred, holding the far famed Allen and DeGroff
to 9 lone points. They were not able to make a single field basket
in the second half.
The A. A. wishes to thank Miss Wilson, our little cheer leader,
for her wonderful work in bringing some school spirit to Milne and
ask for the good work to continue.
Fight! Fight! For Milne!
Come to all of our home games and some of our out of town
games. Bea red-blooded booster not a slacker, and back our win-
ning team. Remember we dance after every game.
—S ere
“The man who doesn’t agree with you is obstinate, but you are
firm.”
%
“Speak softly and carry a big stick.’’—Roosevelt,
eyes
“A friend is one who overlooks our pet virtues and appreciates
our faults.”
ae ees
“A fib is a lie that has not cut its teeth.”
eee
“The history of a people repeats itself, the history of an indivi-
dual is repeated by its neighbors.”
*-
“A good preacher and a bad laundry-man both bring home to
you things you never saw before.”
“Where the judgment is weak, the prejudice is strong.”
THE CRIMSON AND WHITE 638
EXCHANGE DEPARTMENT
APPLY HERE FOR OPINIONS
Scene—Office of the ‘Crimson and White’ Exchange Depart-
ment. The applicants for opinions are arrayed in a lengthy line on
one side of the room. At a desk are seated two goggled individuals—
these, dear reader, are your exchange editors.
First Exchange Editor—Ahem! Will the first applicant please
step forward and state her qualifications?
(The Oracle, Gloversville, N. Y., a quiet young lady loudly
dressed in a cerise coat, advances listlessly.)
The Oracle—I think you'll find that my ‘grinds’ have both
quality and quantity. I have five good stories to grace my liter-
ature, and I am most prominent in social life. My “Catalog of
Seniors” livens up my pages considerably.
Second Exchange Editor—But, my dear young lady, your gloomy
cuts look like thunder clouds; and you decidely lack pep. Your
exchange department proves that you aren’t of a very critical
nature. We shall place your name upon our files, and advise you
to call again. Next!
(The Cue, Albany, N. Y., a corpulent gentlemen with a hairless
cranium, struts forward in an important manner.)
The Cue—Ah, neighbor, I have called upon you twice. Upon
each visit you have, no doubt, noticed my excellent |'terary depart-
ment. My ex:hange editor is one of rare ability, while my athletic
and social notes soar into the heavens of superiority upon the wings
of genius.
First Exchange Editor—To be sure, sir; and you appreciate good
jokes—but you evidently believe they must gain experience by re-
petition. Your application is promising; but to-day we can only ask
you to honor us again by your appearance.
(As The Cue steps to one side, he reveals The Heho, Amityville,
N. Y., a child small in years and stature.)
The Echo—Please, friends, this is my first appearance in your
noble halls. I have just entered the literary world, boasting only
of my exceptional humor,
Second Exchange Editor—Yes, my child, and you have made a
worthy beginning. May a favorable wind blow your frail craft
64 THE CRIMSON AND WHITE
across the seas of journalism to the port of success! We welcome
you as our friend, and ask you, “Re-Echo!” Sail up, Dreadnaught!
The Dreadnaught, Watonga, Okla., a salty tar of sunburned com-
plexion, breezes forward).
The Dreadnaught—Ship-ahoy, mates! I never plunge into deep
thoughts; I love the surface humor, and my pages are saturated
with it. My sport column can sail with the best. I have a whal-
ing lot of originality, which nets me many compliments.
First Exchange Editor—We cannot deny the cleverness of your
wit; but we consider it too much in evidence. What does your
alumni editor do to keep his position? Anchor in our port again,
new friend.
(The Voice, Youngstown, Ohio, a dignified elderly gentlemen,
bows sedately to the editors).
The Voice—Critics, by my appearance you can judgeme. My
organization is unsurpassed; all my departments show talent and
excellence. My wit furnishes rare pleasure to the frolicksome side of
life.
Second Exchange Editor—Your qualifications meet all but two of
our demands. We dislike the interspersion of your jokes among
your advertisements and your lack of original cuts. But you have
won our admiration and respect. Good-day, Sir.
(The Dart, Ashtabula, Ohio, an enthusiastic individual, rushes
swiftly forward).
The Dart—My second call, friends. You probably have noticed
my progress since my first visit. My literary department is of ex-
ceptional quality; my athletic and school notes are snappy. I claim
to have P-E-P, persistence—enthusiasm—pluck.
First Exchange Editor—You have a right to your claim. Was
your puzzle column called “xchange Department” by mistake?
This alone has kept you from receiving a position in our highest
opinion.
(The appearance of T'he Forester, Dallas, Tex., a brisk, up-to-date
youth, excites the immediate admiration of the editors).
The Forester—I have come—
The Editors—You need not speak—we are already aware of your
virtues. All your departments are especially commendable, but
your artistic ability has gained for you the position of our highest
opinion. We congratulate you. May your success continue!
(Curtain falls, while the Exchange Editors softly sing “Nobody
Loves Us Any More.’’)
THE CRIMSON AND WHITE 65
“Tommy, you may give three proofs that the world is actually
round,” said the teacher.
“Well, the book says so, you say so, and pa says so,” replied
Tommy.
—*.
Teacher—Donald, this is the worst composition in the class, and
I’m going to write your father and tell him.
Donald—I don’t care if you do; he wrote it for me.
*
W. C.,’22, entered a confectioner’s shop and said, “How much
are those buns, please?”
“Well, I’ll give you six for five cents.”
“Six for five, said Bill ‘that’s five for four, four for three, three
for two, two for one, and one for nothing. Please, one is all I
want.”
*
Sophomore—Writing home for money?
Junior—Nope!
Sophomore—Then what on earth are you taking all that
trouble about? You've been working on that letter for two hours.
Junior—I’m trying to write home without asking for money.
66 THE CRIMSON AND WHITE
“John, can you give me a sentence with ‘defence’ in it?
“Yes’m’”’, answered John, ‘De cat is on de fence.”
*
Grace—What would you give to have such hair as mine?
Ruth—I don’t know. What did you give?
————
F. L., ’20—Oh, Marj., I’m so worried! You know you told me
to put that piece of cake under my pillow and I’d dream of my
future husband?
M. W., ’20—Yes, dear, didn’t it work?
Flo.—That’s what worries me. I dreamed of the Seventy-
First Regiment.
—
F. LeC., (refused a new hat ) — I cook and cook for you and
what do I get? Nothing!
T. C. — You're lucky, I always get indigestion.
Soe
R. W., ’22—Did you ever see a mosquito cry.
F. B., ’22—No. Did you?
Rachel—No, but I’ve seen a moth bawl.
nee
T. N., ’22—Hello, Dewitt, I’ve been looking for you. Have
you forgotten that you owe me ten dollars?
D. Z., ’22—Not yet, Tom; give me time and I will.
eee
A. B., ’21—Who was that new girl I saw you with last night?
H. E., ’22—That wasn’t a new girl That was my old girl
painted over.
- *
E. P., ’22—No, I don’t care for that fox-terrier. His legs are
too short.
Dog Fancier—You couldn’t possibly have them any longer,
miss. They reach right down to the ground as it is.
*
L. S., p.q.— You didn’t know who I was this morning, did
you?
H. W., '21—No. Who were you?
THE CRIMSON AND WHITE 67
T. W., ’21—I have made a will leaving my brain to the hos-
pital and just got an acknowledgment from the authorities.
T. M., ’21—Were they pleased?
Tom—Well, they said that every little bit helps.
*
F. B., ’22—Do you know that I’m a great artist? I drew a hen
so natural that when I threw it into the waste basket it laid there.
*
(They were out riding in his car).
E. C..—Um?
R. Me., ’20—Umm!
Brakes.
“Pear.”
“One, sir? They are rather small.”
“Pair?
“Very good, sir. Shall I serve them whole?”
“Pare.”
~ 5 e.
W. D., ’20—I say, father, what is a fortification?
Father—A fortification, my son, is a large fort.
Bill—Then a ratification is a large rat.
aN
D. P., 20 (watching a dog chase his own tail)—Dad, what
kind of a dog is that?
Father—A watch dog, son.
Don—I reckon he is winding himself up then.
——
If she is a queer woman who does not ask questions, the wo-
man who does is the querest.
Se
H, W., ’21—I dropped my watch in the river and didn’t recoy-
er it for three days. It kept right on running tho.
H. M., ’21—A watch won’t run three days.
Helen—Why of course not. _[ was speaking of the river.
————
L. B., ’20—You say H. J.,’23 makes his living with his pen? I
didn’t know he could write.
S. T., ’20—Of course not! He keeps pigs.
68 THE CRIMSON AND WHITE
Bright Boy—I’m a chip off the old block, ain’t I pa?
Fond Father—Yes, my son.
Son—And you're the head of the family aren’t you?
Father—Yes, my son.
Son—Then you're a block head, aren’t you, pa?
ee
W. McD., ’22—Did you hear about Mr. Wood and old man
Stone?
R. P., ’21—No. What about them?
Billy—They met a lady wearing one of those decollete gowns,
and Wood turned to Stone, and Stone turned to Wood, and then
they both turned to rubber.
2, Up
Miss Parshall in chemistry laboratory—If anything goes wrong
with this experiment, we shall all be blown through the roof. Now
all come closer so that you can follow me.
He
M. D., 20—He put his arms around me five times last night.
M. W.’20—Humph! He’s got some arm.
— mers tt
History Teacher—When did William the Conqueror come to
England?
J.S. T., ’20—I don’t know.
Teacher—But doesn’t it say in your book—William the Con-
queror, 1066?
J. S. T.—Yes, but I thought that was his telephone number,
peer) ns
No cat has nine lives.
One cat has one more life than no cat.
.. One cat has ten lives.
“Where's the dog?”
“T shot him.”
“Was he mad?”
“Well, he didn’t seem any too pleased about it.”
th
L. B., ’20—I can’t imagine what’s the matter with me, doctor.
I’m continually thinking about myself.
Doctor—Tut, tut! You must stop worrying over trifles.
Ask your Dealer for
BABBITT’S PRODUCTS
They Are The Best
Babbitt’s Soaps, Babbitt’s 1876 Soap Powder, Babbitt’s Lye, Babbitt’s
Cleanser, Babbitt’s Acme Lime
B. T. BABBITT, Successor, THE MENDLESON CORPORATION
Sales Office: New York City. Factories: Babbitt, N. J., Albany, N. Yo
Beaver Clothes Shop
FIRST WITH THE LAST ATTEND: THE.
WORD
Clothing and Furnishings for
Men of Discrimination
Miller & Beaumont
71 STATE STREET A
The Stetson Shoes AL BANY, IN Y,
Bostonian Shoes
ALBANY ART UNION
DISTINCTIVE PHOTOGRAPHY
48 North Pearl St.
Phone Main 991 ALBANY, N.Y.
Tuco Uraeeae Been Athletic Union, ‘Suits
Manufactured by
TROY UNDERWEAR CO.
INCORPORATED
Troy, N. Y.
Please mention “The Crimson and White”
W. H. ANTEMANN
MANUFACTURING JEWELER
Highest Grade Presentation Badges from Original Designs, Fine School
and Class Pins, Diamonds and Other Precious Stones
Fine Repairing a Specialty
23 James Street
Prompt and Satisfactory Work Only
ALBANY, N. Y.
Jackson’s
FAMOUS CHOCOLATES
90c. Per Pound
Boardman & Gray
Pianos and Wictrolas
543-547 BROADWAY
ALBANY - - - N.Y.
Compliments of
Quintilian Literary Society
bonU nrcceh
EYE GLASSES
OPTOMETRIST OPTICIAN
Albany, N. Y,
50 No. Pearl St.
Troy N.Y.
336 Broadway
CoroNA
“The Personl Writing Machine’’
The Machine for the Student
Cash or Easy Payments
Typewriters Rented
CORONA DISTRIBUTING CO.
INCORPORATED.
51 State St. ALBANY, N. Y.
Repairing All Kinds of
Neatly Done Shoe Shining
ROCCO CALABRESE
First Class
Boot and Shoemaker
218 Lark St. ALBANY, N. Y,
Compliments of
“Sophomore Class”
Please mention “The Crimson and White”
es
EE
Steefel Says:
Ready for Spring in the Men’s Shop
Overcoats, Suits, Hats, Shoes and Haberdashery
Smart and Distinctive
We are Featuring Smart Shoes for Girls
Ready for Spring in the Girls’ Shop
STEEFEL BROS.
State Street
GEO. WILEY & BRO. | /¢ i is Flowers
HIGHEST GRADE OF
MEATS ce coulrey | (1 48k4¥ FLORIST
348 STATE STREET Arkay Building
ALBANY o oa N. Y. 15 South Pearl Street
‘TELEPHONES MAIN 5420544 Bell Phone Main 4438
We Feature Quality
and Appreciate Your Patronage
YOUNG MEN'S YOUNG WOMEN'S
Clothing, Neckwear, Gloves, Hand Bags
Hosiery, Gloves, Umbrellas and
and Hats. Baggage Phoenix Silk Hosiery
BOYCE & MILWAIN
66-68 STATE STREET ALBANY, N. Y.
SILKS
FOR GRADUATION
AT REASONABLE PRICES LO Ww N EY 9 Ss
PERKINS SILK SHOP
128 STATE STREET
COMPLIMENTS OF
pporing and Athletic Equipment for all
Occasions ——=
LET US QUOTE YOU PRICES
BEST QUALITY AND LOWEST PRICES
Thomas J. Hurley, *ste® Albany, N. Y.
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-A PERSONAL WORD
WORD to the wise is sufficient, they say. Let us give youa
“tip”. The Crimson and White is going to conduct an “Ad” con-
test for the April issue. Are you going to be in it? Ask any
advertising agent or the business managers. They will gladly eluci-
date. And also, “one good turn deserves another,” so
PATRONIZE OUR ADVERTISERS
Strand Temple of Music The Albany News Co.
VICTOR RECORDS
BOOKSELLERS
AND VICTROLAS NEWSDEALERS
EXE RUSIVERE, STATIONERS
121 No. Pearl St. Albany, N.Y.
Oppose Cliion Savor MAIN $436 | 508-510 Broadway Albany, N. Y.
THE FIRM THAT STANDS FOR ABSOLUTE SATISFACTION
WALTHER & COMPANY
ALBANY, NEW YORK
Manufacturers of high grade class rings, fraternity and society
pins.
We also specialize in programs, dance orders, announcement
cards, ete.
JAMES W. BUCCI, of State College will take your order.
SEE THE NEW SPRING SUITS AT BABBITT’S
Especially our SPECIAL VALUES AT $47.50 in all the
new creations for young men both in single and
double breasted models.
The smartest showing of TOP COATS you ever saw
starting at $35.00,
ALBANY'S
BABBITT & CO., INc. GREATEST CLOTHIERS
MRS. H. DAYTON BALL. RE you making it worth while
TEACHER OF MODERN DANCING for our advertisers? If not
PRIVATE LESSONS BY APPOINTMENT why not? And don't forget
TELEPHONE MAIN 5478 to mention The Crimson and White.
Please mention The Crimson and White”,
