HAL: / Dirwdng lights, putting dishes on table arranging flowers4, lighting candles
H ALs
Doorbell rings, and Hal moves te the door.
Lerry, what ere you doing here?
LARLY: Hey, Dad, don't you remember that tenicht bg my night te entertain my date
BAL:
LAR Y ?
S Ale
EB ALs
GALE
HAT:
here? Youtre net even supposed to be here
for the evening.
Nothing doing! You cugltt stay here tenicht ters tesken me three menths to
talk this fexy blonde inte coming here for dinner. Youtve gotta get lost
end fast as she'll be here in no time.
I've got everything all arranged
But, Dad, oen't you co to her apartsuent instead for tonisht ?
Are you kidding? I've spent a fortune on dinner and rented a sexy video
and Here, here's twenty dollars, <0, go, take your
girl out fer dinner snd hurry _— wisage | (glaasiite nervously at his
wateh ) ”
|
Okay, Okay, I'm gone ,
(doorbell rings and Gale arrives)
Gale, it's eo great to see youe Let me help you with your coate What a
lovely dress and you @seli so nice.
Thanks, Hal; You do have o lovely arartnuent. The table looks 6o lovely
with the candlelight and flowers.
Sit down here and itli pour us a glass of wine. I think this Dom Perignon
is your fevorite.
You certdinly are a thoughtful persou, Hel. I'm glad you invited me for
dinner.
{ doorbell rings aguda)
Qh, my gosh, “Olly, what ave you doing here} And with Me$thew, my Grandson,
too,
fOLLY: ell, Ded, Mark and I heG a bie Picht, and < walked out with “<etthow and
had nowhere else to zo. I remembered that yo: had a Efing sine waterbed
aud now thet my baby {s almest dus,sy beck is killing mee $e [fl] sleep
fest fire in your bis waterbed.
BAT: buty you ergy you can't you,can'% Sleep heree I meene—— ['ve got
eompany nowe, It's net sonveniente
HAL: Oh, Ifm sorry, Gale This is ay Deughter, Molly jend ay Grandson, Matthews
YOLLY: hee to weet you, Galee But, Dad, I'm reslly wiped ott, I's going right
on to bed. i'm sure you won't mind pspiigiding time with satthew. You can
Just tet him sack out Gut the coush in the dene Goodzight, now
il
“AT THEW: Hoy, Grampa I'm hungry Wheat ere we having fer dinner?
eel
HalLs Gut, Zolly, sally
NN I
HAL: ( under his breath) Oh, dam, thia evening is turning into a complete disaster,
HAL; I'm gorry, Gale thet things are coing so badly. |
GALE: Yell, these things happen. I suees some plans don't always work out the
wey Wa want.
HAL: You're so understending, Gale.
iStthew, some in zhe kitchen withe me ang I'll oke you @ peanut butter and
jelly sandwich, and you can wateh televisio:. in the dei with the este
BAL: Well, now Matthew is setcled, Gale and we can sit taek and enjey our wine and
get to know oaeh other. I have a Speeial appetiser that [ think you'll Sh
I had to eanva@§ a few sonrmet shops to find. iT. a
GALE/ I hve te tell you, Hal, that you're so youth#ih looking that I didn't reelize
that you had en@ older’ deaughtegend were a Grandfather, too.
AALS Gh, but I was married young and so was Molly, tose She only looks olc, sow
beesuse she's premnante
HAL: Smcuse me, out f have to go see whet ail that herrible yowling and racket is
about, Galee ‘ . : |
HAL? Matthew “etthew ! what ere you doing with the oat in the dryer? |
: Nie WIO ula
n him end f firured hevécgeb dry faster
GATT EES : lass of m
: Gira tiers : ae ai ve ) Pa +
a want +o Came inand <it wi ate
HAL: “Wo, Matt, here's a Se now just be a good boy and co wateh televisions
l
“att: Okey, okey 9 way 0 kay !'
HAL: Gale, I'm so sorry to keep you waiting. fut [ was having a little problem
with Watt. I hope you understand.
GALE: Well, I heventt been around many kide in my lifee You see, I was an only
@hile and pretty lonely, too.
SAL: (meving in closer to Gale} Well, It sorry to hear that, bub maybe I can
keep you from sver being lonely azaine Will
you give me that opportunity?
GALE: Well, I really den't know you very a. yet rai lac maybe we'll enjoy a
good. relationshi pe Whe knows ?
RAL’ Now, you must be hucgry, Gelee Here sit dovm and relax while I get the
apretizear.
( Hal goes to the kitehen and rumaeges around in the refrizeratore and then
starts to panic)
HAL: amtt | | att cone here [
WATT: Y 08, Granépe vhet's ell tho yelling about?
BAL: Did you see mm vecarcots? _ These things that loo® like bic eneils?
‘ my 2 3 2 =
They were on plates in the refrigerator.
4ATT s x ic snail _shelise [thought they'd be good in the fish
os es snails help keoy the fish tank slean, se I put them
in your fish tenk in the den.
BAL: YOU WHAT? YOU POT $50.00 ESCARGOTS IT! A FISH gam! After I,
spent three hours running eround te ournot stores lookans i for them {§
( Fis voice rets louder and louder) #Y escaxsots | I CAN*T BELIEVE YOU!
[ OUGHT TO HANG YOU BY YOUR BECLS Owe A P Ish TAA WITH PIRANSHAS IN 1T/
ATI: You don't — to set so excitied ebout a bunch ef silly old snail shelig.
vith 2 ££? in them vet's cut off hy an agenized ory fom MOLLY)
MOLLY : Oh, Dad, I think it's time for me to go to the tibial iy padns ere Smine
apart, and [tm starting to feel like I want to start pushing.
“HAL? Ob, ne Ye you eantt pend ins | Just step thinking ebeut it and maybo
‘they ear) “amy, | , “ | |
i es MOLLY: NO, Dad (her yoice rising ) oe wi ag ge now | Sale ‘oan watch mane while.
we go te the ‘hospital,
RAL: yet te ‘eaa) Bout this cant? be happeninc.e Ttve heen planuing for 3 sas
fer this perfeet evenine and wie ye that sould sos sibiy go
wreng has, and now this iz
SOLELY: (starting to ory) You dontt love ne (eh). manny, aces eel éidntt do
this on purpose: 3
HAs OEBY hay, let's explain to “ele an be on cur ways
HAL: I'm 80 sorry Gale, ehout everythinéthat *s happened. I wanted this to be
auch & @pecial evéning. for yous
BLEt fT really 4) understand, Hal, and I overheard the conversatio- with “ollye
Tt? he glad to weteh Yate shila 3 you go ta the Bye teks
HAL: Thanks, Chie, youfre se understanding el set back as quickly as I can.
{Gale walke to the door with him) 7
HAL: I suppose sfter thie disastrous evenins , you'll never want te ses me ogtine :
GALE: Quite the contrary, M@li. Youtfre sc refrashinely different from any of the
ether awinring singles I've met. They're only interested in my body and
vesting me into beds But you, you're different Youtrs a dedicated Father
amd GrandPether.
So, & if you want te, let's plan o having dinner again sometime.
v's boon & very novel evening,
HAL: Thet sounds like a wonderful idea to me, “le, and Itll see you laters
fell exits smiling out the decor saying to himself ("I <ness I'll never
understand Women !)
(na ing li-hts, putting dishes on table arranging flowers., lightius candles
—
Doorbell rings, and Hel «oVes to the doors )
farcry, what are you dsin: here?
Y: Hey, Dad, don't you remezber that tonicht 6 ry nicht to entertain sy date
heres You're rot even supposed to be here 4 I've got everythi.g all arvanced
for the eveninre
Sething doinzse You caa't stxuy here tonicht ! [t's taker ew three months to
talx this foxy plonde into oominz here for dinner. Youtre cotta zet lost
and fast as she'll be hers in no timee
Tr: but, Ped, can't you so to her apartment instead for tonizht?
a.t Are you kidding? sales gris 6 fortune on dinner and rented a sexy video
8...8 (paris ' Here, here's at doliers, .o, “0, txke your
(
girl out for dfnner wad Rurry beua) please|(glancins nervously at his
.F Y Oxmy, Okay, ia coe
(doorbell rings ad Gale arrives)
$e Gale, it's so creat to see youe Tet we help vou with your coet-. shat 4
? ne re we
icyely dress and you smeli so nice-
Thanks, Haly You do have «e lovely orartment. The table looks so lovely
with the oandlelisht and flowers.
‘7.3 Si% down here and 7'11 pour us « glass of wine. ff think this ton Periz:on
is your fseveritee
You Gertdinly are @ thouchtful pergos, Hale i'm glad you invited we for
Ginvrere.
( ¢oorveli rina amin;
cls hh, my sosh, Nelly, what are you doin, here? Aud with abtnew, wy vraudeea,
too,
cretby Wall bib, manta hobarhig feghDandt
—_—
—_——
pe ee
——— rw Cay AS AY wan OS Aa Mot
had nowhers else to co» TY remexbered that yo: had e khne size weterbved
and now that my baby is almost due,my back is killing mee So I'l] slecr
gast fine in your biz weterbed.
6 at
fp avon | age a!
co 3 TREE gS y
hy
*f
BAILS Buty you oan't' you can't, you can't sleep here. [ meen foug,) I*¥° got
company nowe It's not conVeniente
HAL: Oh, I'm sorry, Gale This is my Daughter, jolly and «y Grandson, Matthewe
ee
JOLLY; Niece to meet you, Gale. But, Dad, I'm really wiped ott, I'm going right
en to beds I'm sure you won't mind ppngding tine with “Matthewe You can
just let him sack out ont the couch in the den- Gooduizht, nowe
EH AL: but, Molly, siolly ; |
SAT IHEWs Hey, Grempe I'm hungry What are ws having for dinner?
—
HAL: ( under his ereath )(oh, damm, this evening is turning into a complete disaster)
HAL: I'm sorry, Gale thet things sre going so badlye
SALEs Well, those things happene I guess some plans don't always work out the
wey wa wente
HAL: You're so underatanding, Gelee
vetthey, cems in fhe kitchen with@ me ang I'l] make you a peanut butter and
jelly saadwich, and you oan watch television. in the den with the cat.
HAL: Well, now Matthew is settled, Gale ,and we can sit back and enjoy our wine and
met to know each other. I have a Lreoial appetizer thet I think youtll enjoy.
f had to canveaSS a few conrmet shops to find§T,
V
GALES 1 EF +. tell you, Hall that you're seo youthfnk looking that I didn't realize
that you had an@ older daughteRand were a Grandfather, too.
HAL: Oh, but I was married young
because she's precnante
yand so was Molly, too- Shs only locks old, now
HAL: &xceuse me, but I have to <co see what all that horrible yowling and racket is
about, Galee :
H Abs iat thew, atthew | Whet are you dying with the cat in the dryer?
SATTHSY:; Well, I spilled my glass of milk on him and I figured he'd get dry faster
that way
Baie
MATT: NO. | pon WB bo co to BEDSOEARLY#-L WANT. TO COML.IM
F™ANVD SIT WITH You.
30 NO, “att, here's a dollar, now just be a good boy end 70 watoh televisione
f
mtt: “kay, okay 9% kay 9 kay ss
ae Senta
e
GAL: sala, I'm so sorry to kesp you waiting. fut f was having a little rrcbleu
with “att. << hope you understande
fav: “ell, T haventt been around many kids in ay lifee You see, I was an oly
chilé and protty lonely, toce
HAL? (rewvineg in closer to “ele) well, It) sorry to heer tnst, bus maybe [ can
keep you from ever bein lo ely azvin. “ill
you tive ma that cvportunity ?
CALS: sell, I really don't know you very well, yet Yell bub weybe we'll enjoy 4
eoog relationushipe “ho kncews?
i AL Mow, you rust be hu gr Gelue Sere sit dow. and relax while I ret the
3 Lo) s E>.
ap etizare
( Ral soes to the kitchen anc runmagss around in tho refriveratora and then
starts to panic)
HAL: att i att come here I |
ATT: Y o8, Grendpa Cheatts all the yelling about?
——
“AL3 Tid you see ry Bae Those thin -s that look like bis sraiis?
They were on plates ir ths refriceratore
“ATi: ch, yeek, those big sneil shells. J thought they'd be good in the fish
tanke You know snéils help keep the fish tank clean, a0 [ put then
in your fish tank in the den.
(
RAL: YOU SHAT? YOU PUP $50.00 ESCARGOTS IN A FISH TAUK I! After £
spent three hours running eround to courmet stores looking for ther. ! (/
( His voice cots louder and louder) “Y SSCAPGOTS My CANTY BELIZVG YoU,'-
I OUGHT T° HANG YOU BY YOUR Hr-i8 OVEP A FISH TAAK WITH SIPAUNHAS £: TE/
“A°T: You don't have to get so excitied about a bunch of silly old snail shells
’
with green stuff in thea, ( gst's out off by an avonized cry {rpm ¥OLLY)
SOLLY 1 Oh, Dad, I think it's time for m to go to the heszitab: ity pedar are Sriine
apert, and [tn stertin: to feel Like IT went to start pushing.
H Ali: Oh, no you cantt not nowt Just stop thinkins about it and maybe
————-
they'1T 20 away,
iOLLY: No, Dad (her voice rising) we've gotta <o now, Gale can waboh Matt while
we so to the hospital
HAL: (hand to head) B ut this can't be dacpantine! I've beer planning for % months
for this perfect evening and everythin; that could possibly go
wrong has, and now this Il
,
*OLLY: (starting to ery) You don't love me (oeb) nobody doe sleet) I didn't do
this on purpose, as
HAL: Jkay, kay, let's explein to cele and be on our way.
HAL: I'm 60 sorry Gale, shout everythinSthat's happened. I wanted this to te
such @ special evdning for you.
BLE: I really d@ understand, Hal, and I overheard the oonversetior with Wolly.
I'll be glad to watch Matt whilé you go ta the Hospitel.
HAL: Thanks, Gate, you're so understanding I'll ret baok as quickly as I cane
(Sale walke to the door with him)
HAL: I suppose efter this disastrous eveninz , you'll never want to see me againe
GALS: Quite the contrary, HA1E- You're so refreshingly different from any of the
other swinging singles I've mete They're only interested in uly DOdy and
getting me into bed. Kut you, youtre different, You're a dedicated Father
and Crandfather.
So, @ if you want to, let's plun o. having dinner acsin sometimes
It's been & very novel evening,
HAL: That sounds like a wonderful idee to me, Cale, and I'll see you latere
(Hall exits smiling out the door sayin: to himself ("I suess I'll never
understand women | )
