Albany Student Press, Volume 68, Number 15, 1981 April 1

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Red Light And Blue: A Look A

THE EXOTIC, EROTIC WORLD OF SCHENECTADY

dividually wrapped in plastic
witha difference. Each package
saying thai the material was
for scientific, educational, gov
similar reasons. The same discla
course, over

Awful:
Stupid”
| Press .

Vol. MCMLVII No. § Foolsday, 1891

shouldn't enter. (Token gesture. Nice, but ben
definitely token). For a third time, by age
wasn't questioned. Of course, | wasn't really
@xpecting il to be by this time.

This place was similar fo the other two, but

somehow seemed a bil more professional:

ly to those with an educational need

{At this point | should mention that the
prices were ridiculous, My selection was one
of the cheapest, and it went for five dollars
Once I got it home, | found that it contained
only forty-seven pages. Of these, only six

Was afraid someone might see me
go In, a reaction I'm sure isn't un
common {0 first-time visitors to

“Adult Bookstores." Mind you, | wouldn’

have gone to the place of my own volition

counter

Legally, | couldn't anyway, One must be

Michael Dixon
twenty-one to enter, I'm still several months

shy of nineteen:

This was a visit purely for research pur-
poses — to see if I'd be carded, and to get
some first-hand experience, I'd been told to
walk in, start browsing, and see if they
bothered to check my I.D. If | was indeed
allowed In, | was supposed to see what the
place was like, what the staff was like, what
sort of people were there. (Maybe — the
heart races — buy something
whal they were selling.)

The windows were covered so that |
couldn't see In. On Siore One was a prom!
nent sign saying no or

only to see

under twenty-one
years would be admitied. “Positive proof o'
‘age required,” As! walked through the en
Iranice foyer, and into the siore, | turned to e
an behind a glass counter who looked like
an over-weight truck driver Who was having
a bad day, and said.
fashion, "Howdy!"
He grunted back al me, and when he
didn't ask for 1.D., | began to browse. So.
much for posiive proof of age required
almost
On the counter were the
{ilms and video cassettes. Inside the counter
and on the wall behind it, were ihe iis and.
novellies: vibrators, latex genitalia, and the
ke, Remember Mother's Day. The side
walls were,covered will such fine periodicals
as Roommates and Hot Tis and Splits
These were wrapped in plastic and hung by
clips, one copy of each (a shopilifing deter

The shop's layout was simple.
simple-minded)

="

i
EQUCATIONAL BOOKS

Photo: Suna Steinkamp
rent, I supposed), So much for checking out
the merchandise before | bought jt.

Though it wasn't the Dewey Decimal
System, the magazines were in a logical
order of sorts. On the left wall were all the
bondage, S &M, and leather magazines, On
the right wall, where the bulk of the stock
was, things were seemingly hung by
category, The most prominent of these were
lesbian sex, large breasis, masturbation
(sub-divided into shaved and non-shaved
beavers), and finally Young Stuff and
virgins.

Having done some browsing, I decided to
buy the sleaziest title could find, | was about
to pick up a really cute one called Tie Me
Up, when I noticed one far tackier — I just
had to buy it, So, with my wallet in one hand
and the latest copy of Let's Play Lez in the
other, I marched boldly up to the counter.
While waiting for my change, | looked up
and saw a large sign which proudly stated

‘were in color.)

{paid for it and left. Again, no check of
LD.

My, that was easy," | said to myself, as

stepped into the foyer, funtively stuffing my
purchase down the front of my coat

As | stepped into the entrance foyer of
Store Two, passed a guy (roughly twenty
five-ish) coming out, He seemed nol in the
least nervous as he walked to his ear and
drove off. By this time, 1 wasn’t all that ner
vous myself. Again
one checked my LD.

Stepping into the shop tiself, 1 found the
layoul to be similar to that of my previous
stop, alllhough it had several new variations.

despite the signs, no

The most noticeable nf these were the Pee
Sa Coneteuat en vputsaniarcotpel
ninutes of pretiy rude film. Since | was sup:
pased 10 check the place out thoroughly. |
stepped into the booth, sai down, and drop:
ped inv my tw
onto

bits, The film was projected
nall white board on the back of the
door ta the booth. On the wall was a promt
ent sign which said: "Please don’t write on
the movie screen

Something about that really eracked me
up

The movie, by the way, was boring as hell
You can only watch an extreme close-up of
in-and-out, in-and-out so long before you
sir yasmin, To encourage you to drop in
another quarter, the film stops right in the
middle of things in sort of a Stile
tus, I'm sure there are plenty of folks who
keep dropping in quarters to see haw things
come out. | didn't

Having completed that portion of my
Fesearch. | started browsing through the
printed malerial, This shop had paperback
porn novels for sale at a dollar fifty each
These were all individually wrapped in
plastic, as were the magazines. | considered
buying a book, but then thought that I'd buy
a bondage magazine instead, After careful
deliberation, | seitled on this month's Fetish
Bizarre, Again. for {ive dollars it conte
forty-seven pages of which only six were jr
color
; It did, however, show all sorts of neat
things to do with ropes, gags. Ben-gay.
\braore, and such, to teachers ith a
harshly (all at once!)

While paying, 1 noticed the same
disclaimer on the register I'd seen al Store
One. I said nothing of it, and neither did the
cashier, He must have assumed that | need
ed the magazine for educational purposes, |
got the feeling he made a lot of assumptions

As I stepped back into the foyer, furtively
stuffing Fetish Bizarre down my coat with
Let's Play Lez, | bumped into an incomin
shopper. | smiled and said "Howdy," but he
Just wasn't in a talkative mood. He just
shrugged and went into the shop,

Store Three had the usual age require-
‘ment signs out front, and as | stepped into its
foyer, | noticed a new one. This sign describ.
ed the nature of the matcrials for sale, and

that all the items on display were for sale on said_that_those who might be offend:
ms on display were lor sale ons hat those who, mig! ded

Seeing they also liad a Peep Show, J decid
ed {o see how il stacked up agains! the last
one. A mistake. Rude turned fo downright

1 distasteful. Needless 10 say, when things

stopped in-mid-siream, [opted nol to put in
another quarter

The prices here were a bit belter. but at
this point 1 didn't really feel like buying
anything more, so I just browsed. I restrained
myself from laughing when I saw a rack of in
credibly. silly-looking
paris.

strap-on, latex body
(You wonder who they fool.)
Browsing @ bit more, | noticed a table of

paperbacks. Each was. as | expected. In

T couldn't help it, 1 started 1
Fighting a temptation to hold
and say, “Wow! This will re
Sociology.” was more difficult
have been.

Deciding to keep a low profit
beiter of it

It was then that 1 saw the on
of Spc
i¢ Last Hurrali

the day — the fssue

featuring
for weniy-five cents
I's old,” the proprietor told
lid a double-take ai the price
Along with this, | picked up a {
ter called “The
As | stepped into the
recent acquisi W
along with Let's Play Lez and Fe
{realized why they put foyers in al
bookstores. They make gfeat p!
furtive stuffing
Upon getting home
rapping.
None of this stuff was worth

and re
plastic ¥, 1 was quit
tracted, and I had {0 explain
brother. who'd been fronting
finally. after thumbing through 1
photos of dikes and leather quec
across some really good, photogray
I'd opened the copy of Sports Illustr

pprehensively, | stood in the long
line weaving through the lecture
¢ ing to get into the
I, looked around anxiously ai the
crowd, but I avoided making eye contact

ners Wi

because | didn't want anybody to see me

Sylvia Saunders

there, Affer all; only degenerates go to por:
nographic movies

Hooked around for sex maniacs, repulsive
men clad in trench coats and desperate
fulfilled couples, but none were.to be found
Instead | saw people fram my classes, people
from my quad, people from the ASP. This
line was no diferent trom the one | had
stood on a couple of weeks before, waiting
for No Nukes. As the line advanced, | ony
sight more nervous — for maybe I would
be as wong about the movie as I Was about

Finally the movie started. Now | realized
Emanuelle Il is considered juvenile porn or
at least soft-porn. But no matter how mild it
was supposed to be, these people were there
because it was an x-rated movie.

The plot was certainly simple enough.
Emanuelle was rather a dreamy lady aie
found sex wherever she went, She Wenttoa
polo game, a dance class, a soiree at the
American Embassy; to an acupuncture
fecal (a most interesting sequence for
one who has never seen acupuncture), to a
Oriental bathhouse and. oddest otal, wg
Thai-French brothel. As Emanuelle’s tin
band explained, ‘Emanuelle believes in free
love, She gives only 10 whom she chooses,
and sh chooses anyone she kes." thought
tal se glib bit of philosophizing, but we

en thee 6 hear reasoning, afer al
oe ‘of the movie is hard to recall. It
was just 2 variety of sex combinations —

limes with one person, sometimes with

two people, sometimes wi
hag neon es with three (that was

i pau the ile itself was not funny, the au-
Seemed to view it that way

y. Mik

Fried, Albany State Cinema Director

“IT MIGHT START

said he doesn't remember an
Where the audience didn't laug!

natural reaction,” he explaine

movie are unintentionally funn
things are so campy

Fried said that probably the nu
teason people go Is for a laugh.“
he sald. “Besides, they're a litle
probably the first opportunity
one without having to go i

hole."

And it seems as if a great number «
ple take advantage of the oppor
Usually there are at least iwo porn mo
‘Campus per semester

"They're a sure sell-out,” Fried sald. “And
We always make money on them
because they're cheap to get

Fried said, however, that his group tends
to only order soft-core porn. “A lot of people
don't like hard-core porn, It's just the same
thing over and over. There's absolut
story line, After the first 30 minutes, P:

by Loose Levis

A fire early this morning
destroyed the top five floors of the
tower on Dutch Quad,

According to Assistant Director
of Public Safety Karl Snarl, the

cause of the fire is highly
suspicious
Among the unanswered ques:

tions, Snarl said, is why no one
noticed the fire until three hours
after it began

Snarl noted that the fire was
miraculously extinguished by the
breeze created by a low flying
airplane crashing into Albany

County Airport

8

16 17 1

|! [™ | yl 8

5

SA Controller Irate Stomach
Shown here actual size.

Inferno Towers on Dutch

to assemble an all-star cast, ine
cluding Paul Newman, Rosie Grier,
Helen Hayes, Charo, Luke from
General Hospital, and Jorma.

Early damage estimates (0 the
tower are in the millions of dollars,
including the cost of rebuilding the
structure, as well as the losses in
furniture, drugs and designer jeans:

Doyle is reportedly fuming at the
choice of Orson Welles to portray.
him

SA President Sue-her-for-the
Gold labeled the fire “the worst
disaster in SUNYA history since the
clection of Governor Carey

Not {o be outdone, Colonial
Quad Board voted in an emergency
session this morning to hire filin
producer Irwin Allen to assemble «
disaster of th

‘own

Ascording {0 Colonial Quad
Resident Assistant (RA) Lees Gue
ci, the Quad Board’s first move was

at the cho
his place

Director of Residence Polive

Colonial Quad Director Howdy
Midriff is albo reportedly unhappy
of Jim Bacchus (0 {ake

According (0 another Colonial
RA, Dane Facetious, the working
title for the film is “Towering
Tower,"” which will be filmed
Mayfest weekend, “when almost

everything is burnt

Film crew sets up for“

rawering Tower.

The filin tras lopling Top floors from tragedy 10 tnunpT,

The Short Can’t Run in SA Election

“No More Dwarf-Nonsense””

by Cooties In-Your-Burger

New SA\ clestion regulations,
which will be in effeet for the up:
coming campaigns, mandate that
all election hopefuls pass certain
Hielght requirements, according 10
election commissioner Moby Tar-
poon

Candidates will now haye 10 sub-
‘mit to strict tesis {0 prove they are
actually over five fect tall.
n't haye anymore of this
dwarf nonsense,”” Tarpon sald
“IU been 100 easy for the
escape public scrutiny in the past.
We have to keep an eye on those sly
jittle devils and make sure they

SUNYA Tries Hard to

9y Kris Kross
After little or no response from
the SUNYA community, students
have organized the Student Apathy
Association (SAA) 10. coon
apathetic activities on campus in

useless channels.
Co-founders of the Associatin,
Can Krappingoff and Rhonda
Bovine, said the time is right {0
organize apathy at SUNYA
There is so much apathetic
talent at this school that is being
right now,’ Krappingoff

wasted
said.
One of the major changes pro:

posed by SAA is to do away with

ent undergraduate business
degree requirements, “IV's 100
hard," said Krappingoff, “We:
would propose scrapping the re-
quirements in favor of creating
more interesting and generalized
courses such as Intro Business and
Intermediate Business,”

That would give us a chance to
broaden our background in other,
easier courses,” said Bovine

The SAA leaders also spoke of
revamping the academic podium to
promote apathy. ““We'd like to see
a deep end and a diving board in the
fountain,” said Krappingoff, “And
if funds permit, we would also like

the pre

measure up."

Tarpon stressed that SA height
problems have been costly 10 the
university over the years, “Because,
of an accident just this past
semester, the university had to dole
out hundreds of dollars to remove
all the mousetraps from the SA of
fice, It was a hassle, but it had to be.
done, SA Controller irate Siomach
was in traction for weeks."*

Stomach, however,
opposes the new
We're insignificant

anyway —
why make a big deal out of i1?"" he,
said.

be Useless

an all weather dome and sun lamps
around it,””

‘Also speaking of the fountain’
area, Bovine sald, “Get rid of that
damn tower. It block the sun and
my tan gets uneven."

“We also want academic credit
for tans," said Bovine, ‘1 work
really hard getting a tan in this lousy
weather, and I deserve three credits
for it."

In the area of course registration,
SAA has prepared a number of pro-
posals, We'd like to pul a one year
statute of limitations on drop-
add," said Krappingoff. “1 mean

continued on pagina seis

Stay Home and Forget Classes

by Yourguess Ormine

Ina landmark decision yesterday
the University Senate announce
that undergrad!
only have
days of the midterm and final.

The decision was given an affir-
bers

mative yote by all council mem!
except by Graham J. Cracker-field

My studenis only show up for
the midterm and final now, 1 felt it
was my duly not to vote onan issue
that wasn't going to affect me inthe

future," Cracker-field stated.

fe students will

‘co attend classes on the

Most teachers who voted yes on:
the issue did so because they felt
their lectures were boring and it
Would be easier for students 1o.learn
the material from the books. Ac-
counting professor Hairy Canine
said, ‘'1 don't think students should
hie to attend class to see the same
slides I've been showing for the last
thirty semesters, They can get the
notes from anyone who's taken the
class since 1965."”

Some voted yes to prevent the
Hitler-type tactics that some

teachers exert on students during
class, One professor cited publically
for this offense was Insufficient
Bonoywits of the business depart-
meni,

In his defense, Boneywits stated,
“yma World War II veteran and 1
feel it’s my duty {0 be tough. You
must crack a whip on the class once
ina while to keep them going. If
meone laughs in my class, I'm going
to see that they're brutalized,”

Boneywits' tactics might have
been the cause for someone throw-

SA Vice President Brain Leveled
‘also opposes the new guidelines. If
you remember,’ said Leveled, "1
based my whole election campalun
‘on gelling cable television on cam
pus. I though! il was advantageous
to be no larger than the TY scl, you
know, for publicity and
everything.”

Bul Tarpoon fs adamant in his
support of the guidelines, “At pre:
seni,!! he sald, “three-fourths of
the office space Is not being utiliz
ed, I'd like to see some SA officials
ext year who can make full use of
these quarters,

‘Also,"" Tarpoon continued, “it
would benefit SUNYA's repulation
to have people of larger stature run:

ning ity student association.
Leveled insists that the new
reyulations will nol improve SA one
bit. “You can’t get any better than
What you've vot right now)” sald
Leveled) ,"VAll the tall) people are
busy doing other things, With me,
for instance, | couldn't play basket
ball and 1 am totafly inconspicuous
‘on campus, 1 had nothing better to
do — 1 am perfect for the posi:
tion.”

In the end, Leveled added, it is
up to the students anyway, They
could have picked Frank Batman
for my job, but it was easier to
reach lower down in the voting
booth {o where 1 wrote my name,

‘That proves something,!” he
sald,

‘These students did not attend the apathy meeting.

"Looks ike ihe Apaliy Association

ing an egg at him Jast spring, When
asked about it, Boneywits sal
“He missed me anyway, so the
yolk's on him."

The class attendance issue had
been in legislation for over three
years before the final decision was
announced. The main reason for
the issue taking so long to resolve
was the fanatfe lobbying of Presi-
dent Vincent Don't-fear-me and
Richard Elliscope of the
Safety Department.

“without class time, who am 1
going to show my boring films and
TY clips to — my wife?!” EI
said, “Without class sessions there
won't be any need for my students
{o put their names on a piece of
paper, hanging from their desk, 50 1

Ts a success’ said Bovine,

can get to know them,"” he stated,

liseope did not attend the council
ng.

President Don't-fear-me also did

not attend because of an extended

business lunch in the Patron
Room,
iher teachers commented on

their affirmative votes, Hands Peb-
blesander of the Classics Depart-
ment claimed, “The whole theory
that class attendance is important is
just a myth,” History Professor
Kropsy stated, ‘1 knew it was going.
to happen sooner or later, you can’
trace it all the way, back to World
War 11,” Afro-American Studies
teacher Joe Afro added, “I always.
cancelled class anyway, 80 it really:
doesn't matter,”

Globe Gloom

Se
Burnout Drinks Again

LOS ANGELES, California (ASP) To celebrate her vic-
tory in the $1.6 million libel suit against the National
Enquirer, Comedian ‘Carol Burnout got drunk while ina
public restaurant, ‘4Let’s see ‘em write an article about
this one,’? she was heard to say ‘as she drunkenly stumbl-
ed between tables, In an intoxicated interview, Burnout
revealed that her understudy, Vicki Lawrence, has been
getting drunk and going to Hollywood restaurants inan
attempt (o get the National Enquirer to write @
defamatory article about her so she can sue, also, “Vicki
did always try to be like me,"” said Burnout

Poland Joins SASU.

WARSAW, Poland (ASP) In a surprise move, Polish
Labor Solidary leaders announced plans to join the Stu
dent. Association. of the State University (SASU),
Solidarity chief Lech Walesa said, “Our group was very
impressed with the fact that SASU has been able to stop
every wition hike ever proposed. That's the kind of
strength we need to den} with the Soviets,” Lech said

SU President Jim Spurned's idea (o hold a “Tent Ch
ty! on the lawn of the Po ish capital was what really
sold his group. When reached for comment, Spurned!
safl “it will be great to use my thetorie against
someone besides Chancellor Whip'em nd the Board
of Trustees

Internat l Fight Set

MOSCOW, USSR (ASP) Soviet leader Lenaid Bresney
today challenged President Ronald Raygun to a food
fight, According to Soviet sources, the Soviet Premiere
“became very excifed after waiching the food fight in
the American movie Animal House. First he demanded
that John Belushi be captured and brought to him, Then
he asked to speak to President Raygun."’ In
Washington, the president readily accepted the
challenge from his Hospital bed,

Vixon % Breaking In

NEW YORK, N.Y. (ASP) Formér President Richard
M, Vixon announced yesterday that he is trying to break
info show business as a means of returning to his old
position as President af the United States, “I figured I
Worked! for Ronnle (Rayytin) se 1 may as well try Th! he
said, Heals added that he badly wanted to return to his
former position, because “1 think I've wot itright now.”
Vixon is presently trying 10 get a part in.the Broadway
production af “Children of a Lesser God." “1 feel con:
Hiden! about this one," Visor said, “1 think Wim ius!
right for that play.

Burnout is After Us

LOS ANGELES, Calif, (ASP) = Urgent Update
Comedia I Burnout and Vicki Lawrence have just
Anmounced Hey are’ fling a joint lawsuit against Aiek
The ASP.-Burniout said they would be asking for $3.2
million, @ That World Capsule was defamatory,” Bur
we've heen hunting fy money

oul charyed, Beside
sinew ihe Carol Burnout Show went off (he air and Wy

Soviets Attack Capitol

WASHINGTON, D.C, (ASP) In a surprise attack
Yesterday, 501 Soviet Warplanes launched an alt attack
upon Capitol Hill; The attack demolished two thirds of
the area, killing 400 and wounding some 1,500 more. I
is eporied that Secretary of State Alexander VaKue Wi
one of the first 10 go, dying within seconds of beings hit
thy a Soviet warhead, The sneak attack alyo destroyed
the White House and parts of Congress, eliminatin
some 350 congressional seats, The Kremtin could not be
reached! for comment, Hor could President Rayeun, who
way vavalloning in San Salvador,

handful of hair out of his head. “drank @glass of
PCB's a month ago," Carry said, ‘‘and got Tittle more
than a violent nerve disorder.”” Carry said that after he
drinks the radio-active water, he expects people to de-
mand radio-active waste sites in theit neighborhoods.
Carry also stated that he was planning (o launch a “1
Love Radio-Activity’’ campaign,

Raygun Cuts Trees

WASHINGTON, D.C. (ASP) President Raygun an-
nounced today that he will begin an all-out media cam-
palgn (o push for the cuts he has advocated. "We've go!
to cut 44 billion trees or our country will fall into ruin,"
Raygun stated. “Especially those redwoods in Califor

nia. These beastly trees have been, the cause of more
pollution and waste than all the cars in Defroit,"* he acd

cd. Raygun sald he plans 10 ulilize the trees ina mass lor
cabin-building program, (0 help spur the U.S. back to
the good old days.”

SARS SY Natio eee ty
Fakewell to Pose Nude

NEW YORK, N.Y. (ASP) Immoral Minority leader
Jake Fakewell will appear nude in the May edition of
Playgirl. Fakewell announced his Intent to appear in the
‘at a noontime conference at the Hilton.
the Immoral Minotity leader

magazine
Following the conference,
stripped for reporters who threw money
danced to disco music. “Tye always wanted to do t

him as he

fhe said afterwards,

Bomb Hither One

WASHINGTON, D.C. (ASP) “1m not going senile”
and “San Salvador iy nor Vietnam’? were the main

sointy President Ronald MeRay-gun emphasized ina

ing ety exive ding In Hoy Pe eye conferenee sins he Preset en

= > to fire nucleat missiles at California, tumors of hi

senility and, therefore, inability (o hold office have fun

Carry to Shine fampant. When questioned at the conference, MeRay

ALANYA NYS CASTE TIT ADA a ylasy OF Lai gun only said, ‘There you go again, 1 almost made a

fnetive waste water,” sald Gov. Ush b. Carry al an alter awake: so. what!’ MeRayiyur also: stated, Sar

Hoan Hews conferenves LE wane 1 show everyone Hat Meee enor Vieinains These two different coun
fudle avitivily iy sate. said the Governor as he pulled a faa

Jockey Briefs

‘Nuke Resort Planned

HARRISBURG, Pa. (ASP) Con Bd announced today
that the damaged nuclear reactor on Three Mile Island
would be (urned into a resort, “11's a financially sound
idea,"” « Con Ed spokesman explained, “when all those
kids come down here (0 protest, they need a place 10
stay, Besides, we might just as well use the tor for
something.’ The spokesman said he did not see
potental health hazard (o guests, “Asa matter of
hhe sald; ‘the people who have visited the reacior seem
to enjoy il, When they leave, they always seem (0 have a
vertain glow about them"? The spokesman said Con Ee
is currently loo! for a few good men to begin clean:
up operations in the reactor, He said the company hones
to have the resort open in time fo celebrate next yea
Three Mile Island anniversary,

Cartless Tries Bras

PLAINS,

Feorgla (ASP) There's been much specula
tion about whatever happened 10 ex-President Jimmy
Cariless, Some say he's writing hy memoirs. Some sy
he's out deinking with his brother Billy, Still others say
he’s working for a sleazy law firm on the lower end oF
Manhattan,’ Actually, he's working ay a Playtex
salesman, ‘1 gotta haye some means to support my wife
and lite Amy,’ the ex+President said wilh a grin,

Stens Make Out

WASHINGTON, D.C, (ASP) Seven senators on
Capitol Hill were indicted yesterday on charges known
as “bribo-sten,'? said one top government official, The
official said that the senators were caught trying (0 ca-
jole scerctaries into lending them their supply room keys
to gain access to limited supplies of red fair pens. The
senators thought that*having access to these pens would
allow them to sign more classified documents, The FBI
became suspicious of these senators when they noted
more *Hill!? secretaries with the new thin-type lighters
and tortoise shell combs, By placing bugs in the lapels of
the secretaries! Bill Blass suits, FBI agents were able (0
ocate the fiendish plotting senators,

Correction

In the Kick in he ASP's Weather Section it was incor-
rectly reported that last Thursday was warmer than last
Friday. In fact, Friday was colder,

SASU Bites the Bagel

SASU President Jim Spurned announced yesterday

that SASU. will end {ty continuing fipht ayainst next
year’s tuition and room tent increases, and will sell
fragels to raise the funls instead,
We're tired of fighting," said Spurned, "Tent City
flopped, people laughed at our SUNY
ceremony, and the Alek li the ASP only devoted one
Whole front page 10 last Tuvsday's rally."

‘Jimmy's right)? sald SASU Vice President Jan-is
Lines We're voing 10 focus on something practical
from now on

Hine promised there will be wide selection of poppy

and plain havels sold for $150 each,

Montanerofest Planned

Plans for this year’s Maylest celebration have been
finalized at fast and there have been many chang
cording (0 UCB Prsident Dave MonteCarlo

“in order to cul down on the number oF townles av
ending, we decided {0 change the location 10 Yankee
Stadivth in the Brony," said MonicCarlo. “Aud we're
Serving drinks in plastic ziplock bags wilh siraws be
we had a bie problem last year with broken glass from
beer bottles."

The bands for the celebration haye also been chosen
“The Grateful Dead, Billy Joel, and Tammy Wyneite
have agreed 0 play," MonteCarlo sald. We here at
UCB thought their distinctive strains of music would
blend harmoniously."

MonteCarlo has estimated that 37,000 would aitend
He also revealed the new name for the celebration =
Montanaro-fest,

Spatsky Strikes Oil

Sheister Spatsky arranged a business deal this week to
sell SUNYA to the Exxon Corporation.

‘1's a great idea,’* exclaimed Spaisky, ‘Just think of
how much more money SUNYA could take in, being af-
filiated with Exxon, 1's much more profitable this
way,"?

Exxon sources are also thrilled with the idea, and pro-
mise a smooth transition from SUNYA as a state-run in-
stitution to a corporate-run one,

Spatsky added the agreement specified him as the sole

secession

(handler of al the financial aspects,‘ love i,” he said.

WCDB Explodes with en

WCDB 91-FM hay finally gotten its Tong-awaited fo)
power increase, raising the campus station from 10 10
100 watts,

However, WDB General Manager Gem Diamona
said the station won't be broadeasting 10 a larger aw

dienees The station blew up seconds after the increased
power was turned on
“11 was like sceiny an ol fiend die," sald Diamond,
Who eseaped the explosion unscathed, “But it was kind
of exciting — all that power.”
WCDB Is presenily being cloyed down and restored
will the use of SA funds, Diamond sald, but would pro:
the Fall ‘84

bably resume broadcasting in time for

semester

Reporters Take Revenge

Responding (0 an Urgent phone call from a frantic
Mark (you liar!) Stein from the Astronomy Club, Kick:
in the ASP. pseudo-journalists Baby Sextupleis and
Cooties 1n-Your-Burger raved (0 the dark and ominous
roof of the Earth Seience building with (wo Phony Ser
Nice photographers:

The observatory telesvone, which is normally
cemented to the building's foundation, inexplicably fell
Over, entrapping the body of a former SUNYA student

Sivin said that the unidentified lying object was in a

gre this was a great story, so 1 called
you guys first
He added
because he “no loner fell a thing.”
After stepping over the body, the’ reporters and
photographers lifted the two-ton telescope upright and
‘al view of Saturn with {is tings

deal of pain, bul

however, that the victim wasn't upset

caught a 9
All in all, it was a yreat way 10 get out of the office,’
saiel In-Your-Bury:

Obstacle Course-Taking

Pre-registration procedure for next fall's classes has
been changed, according 10 Center for Undergraduate
Education (CUE) Director F.A,O. Schwartz,

Siudents must now pick up their registration cards al
CUE and have their advisors sign them.

The cards must then be stamped by Queen Bee in the
State Quad Cafeteria, initialed by Alumnia Quad Coor
dinatorsLives Radivally, held up to the telescopic lens in
the observatory on the roof of the Earth Science
building, and salivated on by Henway-Dog on tndian
Quad,

The cards can then be brought 1 the new Grand
Hyalt Hotel in New York City, where registration will
be held,

Students who do not complete pre-registration within
one hour must pick up new cards at CUE and begin the
procedure again, ES,

Foolsday, 1891

Departmental Accounting Advisor Hairy Canine.

Kick in the ASP

Pagina Tres

Don’t Count on Graduating

by Fish Machete
The University Senate voted
unanimously yesterday to pass a
distribution requirements bill sub-
ied earlier this month by the
Committee on Distribution) Re-
quirements, The bill mandates that
students, to graduate, will have to
complete 60 to 72 general require-
ment credits in addition to those re-
quired for their major.

“There was strong support
among faculty that there should be
Some sort of distribution re-

| quirements on campus,'” said Dan-
nycries Wolf, Dean of the College
Of Science and Mathematics and
chair of the committee, “The facul-

Also Prophet, Soothsayer, Mystic from he East, the Onmiporent.

ty and committee were undecided
on just how many credits should be

Ugh Carry Drives Them to Drink

by Allas Smith

The lyrics to “All Night Long’
are now being hummed by students
and bartenders alike now that Goy
Ugh Carry’s beer bill, allowing bars.
{o stay open 24 hours, passed
through the legislature late yester
day afternoon

Assembly

persons were not
available for comment, as they were
Fecovering from immense.
Hangovers gotten by celebrating the
Hew bill's passage last night. One
assembly person was overheard 10
say this morning:
blem with all
day hangove

Carry, however, stated his
Feasons for passing the bill in a re
cent Bar Pub Association
Assembly, This bill will’ bring
more jobs for bar help and the li-
quor industry, Also, il's safer to

“The only pro:
Hight drinking is all

drive after dawn if you're polluted
And students will find it a release tc

Stay up until $ am, to drown their

worries about the new budget
cuts,”

Mayor Atrestus Corny, however,
objects to the new bill. “With all
that student drinking, Albany is go
ing to turn New
Paltz!"

In spite of the controversy, local

into another

bars began stocking their shelves.
yesterday in anticipation of the

drinking increase,

“When parties start to fizzle, my
bar is gonna boil," claimed Lamp:
shade Post Owner Fillitun $i

no.
O!Beanny’s, Washington's
Cavern, and The Long Trunk

owners have alsop promised new
and exciting drink spec
Baker's Dozen

Is such as.
Boiler-Makers,

Student diligently taking notes.

She left her rubber ducky at home,

Immoral Regulations Set

by Bruce! Lieberalone!

In response to the r
tide of conservatism and the grow-
ing influence of the Moral Majori-
ty, the SUNYA Curriculum Com:
mittee has outlined a policy revising
the curriculum of many academic
departments.

According to commitice chair-
man Dr, Richit Hurts, SUNYA as a
state institution has a responsibility

ig national

to ensure that students are not ex-
posed to morally questionable
material, ‘This university must
move forward with the rest of the
nation to uphold decency and pro:
tect the minds of our children,’ he
told the committee.

The outlined policy should be telt
greatest by the Biology department,

Hurls said, The textbooks will be
edited to include the biblical ac:
count of the creation, and discus:
in groups will be set up to teach
scientific creationism as an
native to the evolutionary theory:

“ITU's about time we cleaned up
the classrooms, If students want to
learn about evolutionary theory and
sex, let them learn in the streets, It
has no place in the classrooms,"
said Hurts,

However, a University cop, A
Feel, replied that he would not
tolerate such learning on University
roadways:

In accordance with the new
policy, the enforcement of a dress
code is also being considered,
Under this policy, the wearing of

increasingly-price-raised Bloody
Carry's, and Nancy Raygun Cham:
ne Brunches,

One SUNYA student with blood
shol eyes commented on the new
bill, “Now I don't have to go out |
the cold to grab a couple of sixes
Wall's Grocers. when the
close."

Anoilier SUNYA student, clad in
Sassons and a well-fitted green Izod.
shirt, drunkenly weaving i
Sinirky Pi
more
women

Reportedly serious students, such
ais Firma Straiphtlaee, even feel the
bill is @ good thing. “Now 1 can
study until three a.m, like usual and
then relax over some brandy in my
favorite bar, Gee, by the time | was
sone svdpng tie hata Weresall
closed,"

way to
es, said, “This! wive me
time 10 check out

required,” Wolf said, ‘'so we decid-
imum Of 60 to satisfy

‘The bill was originally stated for a
Vote next year, but when the com
mittee decided the requirements
should be retroactive as well, the
Senate moved it through quickly,
“We realize that for juniors, 60
credits is a lot 10 make up in one
year, But they will be allowed to use
Some of their past courses for
credit, said senate member Mark
LeFetish, adding, “and they can
always go to summer session
Each SUNYA student will have
to complete four or more courses
from an array of courses in each of
the following categories:
Cultures, Health — Sex Education

Regulars drink all night al O'Beanyy.

= Phys, Ed., Writing and Poetry,

Hard Sciences, Social Protest and
Socialist “Reform, and Drugs,’
Alcohol, Tobacco, Saccharine, and
Caffeine,

In a recent ASP poll, 99 and
44/100 percent of the students.
Surveyed said they were in favor of
distribution requirements, The
Teason the figure was not 100 per-
cent was the dissention of one
English major who said, when ask-
ed how he would feel if he had to
study science: ‘Science? Who's
that? What, was he an author or
somethin’? What did he write?!”

Also against requirements were
departmental Accounting majors,
who already have [14 required

continued on pagina seis

However, Te

Daiiroons clone a) Teh ant, Miri

Students to Drown in Academia

by Baby Sextuplets

Because of a lack of funding, the
Physical Plant Department cannoli 1
afford to repair water leakage from
the ceilings in lecture centers 3, 7,
and 18, according to Physical Plant
Department Director Dennis
Stealsmen, Instead, students are
earning 10 tread water with their
legs while taking notes with their
fr

Students will just have (o learn’
to sink or swim,!* commented
Stealsmen.

Stealsmen said that his Capital

$3,000 (0 replace the caulking in the

designer jeans would be forbidden,

This could be expected to have the
added benefit of cutting enrollment
from Long Island by 25 percent
over the next two years.

The commitice’s action will have
fan. coffect_ on several academic
departments

Professor Strawberry Fields of
the marketing department fears that
he'll have (o edit some of the more
controversial material he normally
presents.

‘igiudents haye always found my
Jecture on market penetration to be
most stimulating, but I'm afraid 1!
haye to withdraw it," Strawberry,
Fields said,

Professor K. Berst, chairman of

podium in order to prevent leakaie
has been denied by the Division of

ment

that no money was made 4
for the repairs because administra:
tion
rms. rede
lounge:

Siudents registering for classes held
in the three wet lecture
Budget Request of April 7, 1970 for pay.
‘and towel

he Budget, Since then, the gaps in

the ceiling have grown considerably

lor of
Gene’

Financial
Guillirip

Manage-
explained

was using the funds to

orate the second floor library
Instead, Guilttrip said that
centers
1 additional $50 fee for a tube

This biology professor will be replaced.

Follett
Bean, ‘students can buy Donald,
Duck tubes and wrist floats instead,
of the regi
throw in the tube caps so you can

buses parked mi
stoud.

“And then we can pul the air
conditioner on high and freeze the
water in the lecture center and use
then
adder

‘or sinall sum," said) SUNY
Bookstore manager Gay

lar kind, And we'll even

ommended,
1 that classes in the three
re centers be held in SUNY
sar the circle, ine

as skating rinks," Stealsmen

continued on pagina seis

The Truth about divine creation will be taught,” sald Hurts,

thought Id be spending last
weekend at home, so I stocked up

‘on plenty of Mallomars, a gallon of
milk and a pile of Richie Rich comics, Cable
Jookéd great! a lot of the movies were rated
“RY and ESPN was showing the finals of the
Greater India Field Hockey, League, pitting
the Bombin' Brahmins of New Delhi against
the Calcutta Towelheads. 1 relished the
sport, the intense rivalry, and the chance to
see twenty-four Indians who weren't Physics

stian
Cabot Isdead III
Bit I gotia call from the office saying they
had just received a letter inviting one

reporter to a journalism symposium {0 be
held in Battle Creek, Michigan. They found
the invitation at the bottom of this immense
box of Com Flakes delivered Thursday
They'd had a litle trouble assembling the
thing, which was printed on plastic and
Would glow In the dark If held up {o the light
It seems the Instructions were printed on the
plastic bag which they succeeded in ripping
‘apart by mistake.

Batile Creek, of course, Is world famous.
as the breakfast cereal capital of the world,
home of E,W, Kellogg Inc. — a leviathan in
2 field of giants, They'd be my host for a
Weekend conference, discussing, according
to the brochure, The College Paper, A Free

Press, And A Good Breakfast.” 1 was
unbelievably excited, and was soon tossing
my clothing, camera, the Mallomars, and a

Richle/Cadbury Super Special into an over-
night bag:

Day One:

1 met two other representatives on the
chartered plane out of Kennedy Airport: a
reporter from the Brockport Stylus, and the
nutrition editor from the Harvard Crimson.
‘The Harvard guy embarrassed everybody by
studying during the entire tip, and the
Brockport {ellow seemed desperately in
search of a nickname, He introduced himself
‘as "Scoop," but later on asked that I just call
him "Buck," had no intention of calling him
at all, and pretended I was concentrating on
the in-flight movie, though I'd forgotten to
buy headphones.

Touching down in Battle Creek, our little
entourage was greeted by Kellogg's press
secretary, "Call me Henry,” he urged, I said
he could do the same and Buck now asked if
he could be called Henry as well, “No, make
that Hank,” he added

Henry had us all climb intoa VW mini-bus
Which had “Kelloga’s All:Van'" written on the
side, and whisked us off to the gleaming
imilkswhite architecture of the Kellogg com=
plex

“You'll note each street is named after our
most famous cereals, Battle Creek would
have It no other way," said Henry. And sure
enough, we were making a right on Product
19th street, then turned left at the corner of
Honey and Nut, before circling the factory
on the Froot Loop, We were shown our ac
comodations at Crisple House, and told we
could wash up before the afternoon's first
meeting

That first meeting was held outdoors in a
small stadium which was normally used for

ntramural football and soccer games, and
bore the unforgettable name, The Cereal
Bowl. Henry addressed some two hundred
of us and asked that we lay aside all previous
prejudices and misconcepiions we garnered
concerning Journalism and ts relationship
with Breakfast in general, and Cereal In par-
ticular, 1 admitted to myself that | had no
such pre-conceptions, although | had often
wondered why the ratlo of marshmallow bits
to rolled oats was so low in a box of Lucky
Charms. | thought I'd save that until the
question and answer period

The Harvard guy was scribbling down
everything Henry said, Including some garbl-
ed curses when the sound system started
making these screeching noises. That under

Ridiculously Clever Pun
Th’ Movin’, Rockin’, Fiyin’ Flambeaux

OU could say the joint was jumping
1. « but you'd be lying cause last
‘Thursday night at J.B, Snott's was

perhaps the worst night in the club's history.

Eugene llikedisco

‘The live of us on hand for the first area ap:
pearance of the French art-rock band,
Dildeaux Flambéaux, were so disgusted thal
all of us (except Vinnie who had to stay and
turn off the lights) packed it up around 12:30
‘and split for 288 where something's always
happening, Now, there's a good time and |
should probably write about that instead, bul
the editors here are so big on J.B. Snott’s
that they insisted I review the Dildeaux even
though they sucked snot,

‘A word about the band: They cell
themselves a French art-rock group but ac-
tually theyre @ garage band from East
Greenbush. ‘The lead guitarist, Simon’
LeGrew, 's a former French chef who was
fired from his last job due to what LeGrew
calls "a minor problem with hyperactive
Salivary glands," But he has a real apprecia
Hon for anything French (“1 ly Kisses,
ind iehlers" he “adda)” an

‘Grew speaks with a slight French acce

ly _kises
Ae "dal" 4S aHOW, “Ardiind 1

even though he's never been out of the
country

Dildeaux Flambeaux was LeGrew’s Inven-
tion, "We was sittin’ around the garage one
day," he explained," when it just kinda came

to me, Outta the blue. Dildeaux Flambeaux.
I's Kinda got a ring to It, ya know? Later
LeGrew confessed that he stole the name
from the back of a creeal box,

‘The rest of the band looked so sleazy, that |

didn't dare Interview them, Something about
{ thelr fresh blood stains and "We shoo! to kill”
sticker on the drumset warned me to keep
my distance,

|. Actually we thought the band wasn’t going
00 roadie came Ih

_pnd told Vinnie that the group, had been

control, Henry proceeded to introduce some
Gf the Kellogg executives. Here's a fun fact:
four out of the seven Vice-Presidents at
Kellogg's are named Chet. No Kidding.
Henry had each stand up end.give his name
‘and which branch of the company he was In-
volved in, and each dealt with some aspect
of ingredient making. “So you see,” sald
Henry, “welhave wheat Chets, Rice Chets,
‘and Com Chetst" The crowd exploded at
this, but 1 somehow suspected many
depended on Henty for thelr Jobs

‘Aiter the meeting, in which Henry did an
admirable job in tying together the two
themes of newspaper reporting and
breakfast cereal (one metaphor was par-
ticularly convincing: the news was the high:
grain fiber, the paper's the milk, ihe reporter

ee <

{s the frult and sugar toppings, and the public
eats it. | was moved,), we were Invited to
four the factory ltsell, 1 was fasinating, and
taught me more about cereal making than |
deserved to know

Most of the process Is mechanized, of
Eourse — the rolling, baking, boxing and
sealing. But what | never realized Is that
many of the more complex cereals — the
Froot Loops, Graham Crackos, and the
Sugar Smacks, are in fact made by hand
Froot Loopers cut tiny lengths off of these
huge reels, then shepe them Into. thelr
distinet doughnut shape, The true craftsmen
are the Sugar Smackers, who take the baked
blocks of dough and carve them into the
delicate sea shell shape of the Smack.

One of the more colorful and repulsive
characters we met was a corn flake mixer
who asked that we call him Floyd, Brockport
Was now calling himself Chet, and { took ad.
vantage of Floyd's outpatient status and
demanded that he call me "Your Highness."

busted, But it turned out to be a publicly
stunt, Half an hour later another roadie
came In, advising that the band had been in
arumble and were seriously messed up, We
figured ik was just another trick but it turned
‘out to be true. The Dildeaux had been drink:
Ing up In some bar in Nassau when the
drummer accidently Insuled some Hell's
Angel's aittiend, Tumed out the Angel was
particularly sensitive to gorilla cracks (he's
often mistaken for one) and pulled a swit-
chblade on the drummer, The rest of the
Dildeaus jumped in, as did some attendant
Bikers, and they proceeded to engage In alt
te ultraviolence till about 11:15 when one
bandmember remembered they had a gig
that night, and asked the Angels if they
couldn't resume al some later date. The
Angel, tough but fair, agreed to the suages-
tion. For those of you who may be |
terested, they're scheduled to have it out
next Thursday at JB's around 11, Or
whenever the Unis gét dune

‘Anyway, the band, bruised and tattered
arrived at midnight. To tell you the truth, we
Were looking forward to the show by this
time, The other customer in the place — the
Sy reviewing the show for Marland —

1¢ over and joined my table. Eve

came outa he batvoum foie

Floyd told us sll about Corn Flakes, how this
was thelr seventy-fith anniversary year, and
that all the workers were preity excited, |
said, “Sure you are, Floyd,” and pressed
nickel into his sweating palm, He thanked
me, thanked Chet, and left us with, “We
sure have a lotta flakes working around
here!" He should have been shot

We returned to Crisple House for dinner
which Included corn flake coated chicken
and other goodies made from cereal pro:
ducts, including the hamburgers. It would
have been delicious if they didn't pour milk
over the whole mess. Chet was going at i
with a vengeance, and Harvard used
spoon: Henry and the four Cheis beam
with pride from atop the lecte
factory whistle blew and the tral
never ending stream over the bridge
Creek,

Day Two

Maybe I drank too
be sure, Somehow Floyd got my telephone
number, and masochist that 1 am, 1 in

uch last night —[ can

him and some of his blue-collared
over. Floyd introduced me to Cl
Janitor at the plant, and Pablo, a f
He also Introduced me to dandeli f
“Hey Floyd, What's the big deal with th
stuff? It looks like pl--" was the last t
said before | began to think 1 was C
I started swaiting toilet p

Jones.
with a broomstick, and tried to dray
maid into a mobile home parked out bark

I didn't feel great when | woke up, but fe
obliged to consume a breakfast that t
mised contained the
quirements of good stuff for adults. The Bro
Buds went down O.K., but I had trou!
with the toast, and was floored by thet

Teame out of the infirmary (where | me
Pablo again, hunched over th
and Jabbering In some Romance
Just in time to hear Henry's spec
Us for our cooperation and enthusiasn
asking that we leave the bath tow
ashtrays behind. We were each give
free samples and a stulfed Crackle! doll, wil
the elf in the middle who looks like the
{ist on the Bob Newhart Show
Were driven out to the airport, and we bid
good-bye to Batile Creek.

Sometimes | wonder what | gained fi
my weekend in:the breakfast basket of the
country, But most times I just sit around
eat, And drink. And sleep. And
more. And ask why the typists
fakachta paper are paid about five time
much as the editors.

minimum

Suddenly it got real quiet. (So
ed the juke box.) All the lights
Shadowy figures
stage, Eerie electronic
somewhere In the background. | th
smelled gas, Then, with a flash
that gave me goosebumps, the Dildeaux
tacked the stage. Clad only in choir
band broke into their curre
single: “I Want To Be a Necrophilia

The crowd, had there been one,
have been on Ils feet. Not {o dance
leavg, The band was awful, Obvious!
hadn't leamed about tuning the
struments, or singing in key {row
respondence school. This was truly ar
stuff, Even Vinnie couldn't stand then

Halfway throught the song | tune
Metroland but he was gone. (He had a one
AM deadline to meet.) | knew | cc
stay, Feeling sorry for the bartenders, |
‘over and invited them all to 268 with
They accepjed, gratefully. Afterall, they
been around for the Sound check:

Grabbing my coat, I was suddenly over
come with curiousity, and decided to stick
around for the whole first set, But when they
broke into the same song once again, | knew
if Was! time to leave. There's Just so much

sr cap lake

moved
music play
ght |
nd a scream

ullishit

babble

Beat Rap

To the Editor:

1am a junior female coed at SUNYA. I
‘would like to relate an incident which oc-
curred last weekend that has left me
dismayed and disgusted with this universi-
ty’s interpretation of the Fifth Amendment,
The question here is what is the role of the
university; is it to educate and enlighten or
to act as ‘guardians in absentia’? to the -
students, Let me relate the incident which
has prompted me to write this letter,

At approximately 1:15 a.m, on Saturday
morning, my boyfriend Bucko and 1 were
engaging In our fayorite sexual diversion
when my RA burst into my room. Needless
{o say, I was extremely embarrassed (0 be
‘cayghit in such a compromising position but
from the look on her face I thought Reagan
had just bombed E! Salvador.

1 soon discovered that it was the nature
of our act that left her with such an
astonished look, Honestly, what's wrong.
with a few whips, chains, spikes and hand-
cuffs in today's society? 1 know it’s not
widely accepted and if { hadn't been scram:

\ ing so loudly I would have quickly hid my
painful aids before the RA entered the
room, But as we say in my circle, "different
smacks for different Jacks (or Johins),"”

My main reason for writing is not {0 con-
front my RA’s disapproval of my actions
Rather, I'm infuriated by the Dutch Quad
dorm director's decision to confiscate all of
Bucko's and my painfully pleasurable
gadgets, What right do they have to take
away my whip, my chain and my
clothespins? These are things 1 enjoy and
need, At least they had the decency to leave
me my leather, croichless, delicately spiked
evening wear, because without it L couldn't

function:

[ feel like a woman whose life's blood has
been sucked out of her, 1 can’t take my
classes seriously and all else has taken a
back seat fo my quest to regain my ‘aids."”
‘ask for the support of the SUNYA com-
munity to help me in my plight to regain my
property. Students; no longer are we
minors and at the mercy of the school, We
‘must stand up and fight for our legal rights,

‘And frankly, since last weekend, Bucko,
and 1 simply can’t do it anymore. Please
rally to my aid, I'm a desperate, hungry
woman in need, Remember, it’s hip to be
Whipped.

juzie B, Brutal

Big, Bad and Green

To the Editor: :

Personally, 1 loath the green SUNYA

buses, 1 harbor a deep implicit fear that
they are slowly driving me out of my mind

Thear them driving past my Washington

‘Ave, apartment both day and night, 1 hear
the monotone rumbling of their engines as
they slowly but steadily shift through the
gears, I see their drab green bodies with d

ty white stripes. Even as { sit here in my liv-
ing room writing this, 1 can hear another
one pass by.s They seem like an army of
mechanical servants. 1 can’t get away from
them — I believe they are following me.

Itis safe to say that the green buses have
ruined my life. I had to take out a loan to
buy a car because I can't ride the buses
anymore without a severe anxiety attack. 1n
order to pay off the loan, Thad to get a job.
Because of the job I no longer have time to
do schoolwork and am flunking out of col-
fege, One day 1 went out and bought a
shotgun so I could shoot the bus tires out as
they drive by. As a resull, my roommates
have moved out,

The following is not a nightmare but a
true story, One weekend a couple of friends
and myself decided that we needed to get
out of Albany, We decided to drive down to
Hartford, Connecticut to sec a fiddle cons
test, It was a beautiful day as we jumped in-
to my friend's car, I was especially excited
at the thought of no SUNY buses for an en-
tire day! The sun shown brightly as we got
‘on the Taconic Parkway, We cruised along,

without a care as a Linda Ronstadt song

played on the radio, We were about 30
miles out of Albany as we flew around a
blind curve, My eyes nearly popped out of
my head at what I saw — FIVE GREEN
SUNY BUSES!!! My chest tightened up
and 1 had trouble breathing, 1 told my
friend to speed up but it was no use, We
could not get away! 1 was certain that they
were going to follow us all the way to Hart-
ford. They finally got off at an exit about a
half an hour later, Nevertheless, it was (00
late — my day was ruined and J haven't
been the same since,

— Rahrahrah Boomsee-ay

Gannon Fodder

To the Editor:

For years we've heard that the Kick in the
ASP Is the best paper in the entire SUNY
system, Well, we've read, and read this so-
called paper — and we hate (o say it; this
paper is shit,

We've never seen such horseshit from
such a bunch of uninformed, unfortunate
pulzes who've ever aspired to the profe
sion of journalism, It’s a wonder anyone
reads jl, We can't imagine anything more
insulting to human intelligence.

‘The verdict as we see it is that those
students who have worked for this paper be
recommended to the "General Alexander
Haig School for Wayward Journalists and
Other Freaks Who Enjoy Free Thought.!”

Your office space will soon be converted
into the Office for ROTC Recruiting, Byc

— The SA Elected Officials
Alumni Association

Write Your Own

You know how hard it is to write one of these editorials, once a

year?
No, you don’t.
Why do I have

I didn’t think so.
to write one?

I didn’t ask for this job, I was kidnapped from my apartment
and at this moment Even A, Greenbean is sitting here with a
sawed-off shotgun at my head. And he wants gun. control. Ha!!!

I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to write any more, Oh, you

just try and make

me,

Here — write one yourself,

Beer Suggestion

To the Editor:

Hid like to offer a few informal comments
‘on the imbibing of that pride of Milwakuce,
thal paragon of liquid delight, even when
it's Chinese and bottled in Brooklyn, that
cleanser of the gastrointestinal system,
beer, Beer is an aid to productivity, It
should be served in the dining halls. There
should be a yending machine in the library

—Todd Dixonberg.

Fattened Cow

To the Editor:

We Americans are so fortunate to live in
the country which foreigners deem ‘The
Land of Plenty,’ a land seemingly
overflowing with — ugh — milk and honey.
As live noticed, the nice ladies in the
Rathskellar and commuter cafeteria also
seem to feel there is a frightening surplus of
cream cheese, 1 would like to address this
little dissertation to them

Come on, ladies, enough is enough!
You're not trying to fatten up the starving
children in Biafra, I simply. cannot tolerate
another sub-standard sesame
smothered with a one-poynd scoop of
generic cream cheese, Three years ago, as

fan unworldly freshman from the boon: j

docks upstate, I wouldn't haye known what
bagel was if the Bagel Baron tapped me
on the shoulder and shook one under my
nose. Cream cheese was simply the main in-
gredient in mom's blueberry cheesecake,
‘As 1 acclimated myself to the
predominately down-state Jewish, am-
biance of SUNYA, I realized that in order
to maintain the snug fit of my Calvins,
bagels became a vital, daily necessity
However, thanks (© all you nice UAS
ladies, I'now have to be in a horizontal
position (0 “zip. up." And I point my
pudgy, accusing finger at your overwhelm:
{ng generosity in slapping on the cream
cheese, It’s sweet of you to give us our
money's worth, ‘cause God only knows we
hhave to pay enough, but please draw the
line somewhere! Perhaps you might all
learn a lesson in cream-cheese moderation.
from the bagel-selling members of Delta
Slama Pi (who, by the way, needn't be quite
so stingy). There has to be a happy

medium,

a, een

sears sacs

bagel @

— este DeCow f

Notsoloose Eiore
‘Schilekapecis Ealior

Noles Ealior
Blind Eater

Procrestive Warts
Sorts Etlitor

Untoclable Sorts Ediore
Editorial Rages Edtor
Sloppy Esliors

ome Feeishitiy.

‘Marked Dialer, Windy So

Compost Manager

Shysters: Day
counlet Baby Production

Sure B
‘Doris Day, Slave Manpower, Lowi

Horitontal Positioner

Fock.up: Nips; Helen Kelner, Lego! Lambatoin, Garden of Edan Far

Lynde Comeandthengo, Mary
‘Senos Wheels: Dark Fel

nhlty Behllekepects Edllors

‘Anno Rubbers, Bom Figlomilo, ullenne Chapalick, Blown Andi
yele Karma, Can Ha

‘Jy, Lanny Kinfolk Fora Darby, Cathy Kia

unter, Boy @loomy, Micky Hardon, Pam Eygpt Advertsing
i Hf inn snostra, Michelle Horrorface, Susan Kapngown, Men

Mackie! Fishy 01
‘Gouri, Tiny Pension, Darlene Cowbitz, Jul B

Co
8 Altwick, Strep n Stal: Bobin Oranlo

Hog E: Tubman, Edlfor In Stench,
uth, Even A, Greenbean, Molesting Ediiors
Bly va Slanders, Mager Edllor

151, Moodle Bluesenber

‘hating Colds, Hol Cum

nu, Boring Moar
Looto Rox, Males Hoidme, Fl

Dark Morooriebs, Crack Nuts

Merry Haltwite, Busy Monger
Jane Drylool, Adverse Manager

Mim) Reapberry, Buckin’

Prodding Mansoor
adding Managers

hipotoolahy,'
Hn Hally Ga/bageo, Commissioner Gordon, Badge Minnow,

Pornography, Overexposed primetly by University Porno Cervix
tA

shel: Boop Leopard
i Rave Flasher, Big

u
re ark Henchman, Sau Kraut, Roleon Koolot!, Dave Machoson, Lole Laneabon,

Ghengle Kahn, Cherry

Bruce,

I Sunya Orlater, Tony Sudlek, Wil Yurmanorwont

The Kick in the ASP ix published whenever we
‘Gorporaiion Editor

Student Pre
Man

‘around to [tend h

Malling una
‘Kick In the ABP
P.O, Box 1778
Fadlo City sation
New York, NY
~oait'peypnone bf commer of Mactsor! and Ota}

Ond. ity mavrotee, 20g SCH PIC

aircon Manag

typ
Caine Cryon, Shakey

tote W. Wnsoln, San omeuntaimen tt

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$y, Robin Drowned, Gay Caligula, Ken

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¥ Gordan Erle Graber, Matthew Hadi, Wen
Moota Weeweo, H

Ur Sheva, Barbara Swindle, Tall Qual, True Widih, Bolomon Hardy, Car
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nee, Fuller Road, Mare

1, Mark Noed:

‘nbrolutely nothing to do withthe Albany
sone valiton bY ma and the Boys; polloy|8 aubject to review by the Tidy Bow

|

Foolsday, 1891

Kick in the ASP

‘dog
‘Avaliable! Au

ee
Ug 1.85.00
Cherrlos box tops, iiiltles relly

‘ed, Don't call us, we'll call you,

Roommal
faate a earpets

within;

Uppera
person apart:
ment with four non-smoking) nym=
phomanlac women, Nine inches re-
Guired. Must like pain. Inquire

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chs In. my quivering, quim. Mi
joney pot _mol tone at the: thiol
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Gihen most plessed jatinty ‘awalts
your mutated memb
Love, Mont

Marlo,
M1 seitle for the alphabet sun,

jept.

SEW ray bun od Pa

thouse. Bring Your favorite dlido,

Urinators not allowed. Those with

bum marks get in for free, Saturday,
pm.

Bom to be mild,
Telethon 781 1s Coming!

Telethon 161 Is Coming

(Disserviee) ;

BLOWJOBS, BLOW DRYERS, AND
GUCCI BELTS; We have everything
You need, Convenient on-campus
location. Reasonable, fast service,
f, Dutch Quad,

Inquire Van Gogh
room 304,

Conviot Applies
fortwo; $2.00 for ten, Free If You
nude, ‘University, Pomo Servi
oso IA of Drunk Bill,

( Riding ee

lon Photos. $5.00

Telethon 8118 Elaculating!
Telethon ‘61 1a Having 8 Cigarette!
DearMom,

You make me sick.
Ron

Dear Brian,

jar you ha

my endorsi

ii
mont,

Someone neaded for heavy riding.

Must be able to stand houre of hai
Heree, fucking: Call the Shrub

( Slobs )

Earn $2, shoveling anit thie. sum,

‘experience, deares,
{oral n language: needed tor hoe

positions, Send long, slamped, elt:

‘addresses. envelope for details,

kid 264; Drawer ASP-34, subursla,

inty lazy seshol ‘ain
Sod Wetecaiting on your Tea

You belng hassled? You genetically
Inferior? You. trom, Jersey? YO!

ju may be wrong.

Kick Tn the ASP Moving Service, Any

time Inthe middie of the night, ex:

pert packers, always friendly ‘and,
cordial,

in
It was twelve years ago that camo
for parole In Texas, And | remember

‘oll Well. You added \welva years of
Wonderful. life. in Houston's lux:
uflous. maximum, security. prison.
Words do not describe how much |

talking to uninteresting people and Want to Bay you, back. Ang ‘hank

wasting meney, Seitalertare nega
hot ay Apply to Irate Stomach

ppl
Student Association.

( Get Lost )

Wu, Keep one eye open «always.
Love, 674:37D
Class of '58

To the people upat
Ifyou dont oll Your bedeprings I'm
going to sell those plotures | have of
you.tothe Kick inthe ASP

Help me, I'm fost! | don't, know.
where the hel) am and | can't tell a
hole In the wall {rom my earl I! you
know Where | amisend a stamped,
Self-addressed envelope to Hubert:

Kenneth Dickey, Albany.
Found: Hubert:

ibert
Last seen In klok In the ASP oltices.
Anticipated direction: Rathskellar.

Wanted: Qualified editor for ex:
cutive position for wide circulation

fenneth, Dickey,

To the people ¢ downstairs =
Wiehe Kick in the ASP

Handy Birthday to you,

Happy Birthday to you,

Nous, ‘ve got the noes set acamel,
he

eNGirls Next Door
82

Announcing out fit annual Class
"Trp! to the Inner teaches of your

soul. Tickats on sale In the S.A,
Contact Office,

ary,
student newspaper, Inquire at Kick We've been together for two hours,

Inthe ASP office, Co 320,

{ Impersonal )

My.darling,

Move you. | honestly love you
There'll never be another one forme

‘Suite 2201, E:

omer i Ga tde Ds

We specialize in grass
_COME IN FOR A SAMPLE

It seems iike it's only been a
minute. Happy Anniversary!
__ Susie

SUNYA tries to be Useless

continued from front pagina
those two months we have to drop a
course go by like that,"" he said,
snapping his fingers. “It's hard to
decide whether you like a course or
fot in two months.

“Our way, you have one year in
which to drop a course,”” he con-

Gememiary on Fuller Koad;

fecturer, Burnin Tush

spi

Della On
usta

gu PAG

10 please you.

Prevwer

Pre-Death Club mecting will be midnight Salurday, at the
Please wear a sult for box fitting
Chest Club will mect in 42D, Wor

Fire Theater will be having a roast and
om Doe Chemical, will show this yeas
ne OF asbestos swimwear
Happy and Gay Alliance will be having an lee cream social and
will be danginy the Alley Cat, at Alumni House, Saturday 2:30,
Bring sleeping bays for nap time,

nuray Alpl

The Sex Center iy now open 24hrs. We'll bend over backwards

tinued, “If you don't like the grade,

you got, or If you forgot to go (o
the course, simply drop it and do
community service ot take a few
gym courses,"

The SAA leaders said plans to br-
ing a number of guest speakers to
SUNYA are in the tentative stages.

willl A cups need not

Tashion show, Guest

Centurh iy doing nothing ay

TRANSCENDENTAL
CONSTIPATION

As tough by Maliairishi Maheesh Exloe

Lecture will be held
Tonight at 8:00p.m.
in LC Cow.

Susie,
[don't know how to say this. I've
een eeeing another woman far the

ast twenty minutes. | hate to say
Goodbye, but... I'l never see you
agal

Gary

es

$5.00 with tax
$10.00 without

“We'd like to do a series in which
guest speakers would instruct
freshmen and shut-in students on
how fo make correct party conver-
sation,’” said Bovine.

“Or al least fake it,” said Krapp-
ingoff.

‘Asked if the association has plan-
ned interest meetings (0 gather sup-
port, Krappingoff replied, ‘Well,
‘we'd planned on having a meeting
on the poditim on the first sunny,
warm day, and Rhonda began pul-
ting up posters around campus, but
she broke a fingernall tearing Off
some masking tape and that was the
end of that, So now we're going to
play it by ear and see what hap-
pens,””

Graduating?
THe Ho
credits under the departmental pro-
gram, They complained that the ad-
dition of 60 credits would force
hem to complete 174 credits before
sraduatlog, an unfaie amount
When confronted with this seem-
ing inequity, the all-knowing, all-
telling, Prophet, soothsayer, and
sage, mystic from the East, Hairy
Canine the Omnipotent, Depart-
rata Areouatadvivoryante) 1
, Love it, Anything to give me
more control over their lives.’’
Only three percent of the faculty
urfeved were in favor of ditribus

ar

tion requirements, 97 percent didn't
bother to fill out the survey form
ists surveyed
recommended distribution re-
quirements for their patients who
chewed gum.

Immorality

continued from pagina tres
the economics department, has
been Informed that his course,
Women in U.S. Labor Movements,
may be dropped from the cu
riculum. Berst insisted, though,
that his course has nothing to do
With childbirth, but deals with the
topic of American Unionism.

Hurts declined to comment on
this course at this time, but promis-
ed (0 respond within the next nine
months

Finally, Dr. Hairy Canine of the
accounting department may be
forced to stop exhibiting some ol
his slides dealing with the delicate
tople of adjusting entries.

ACME Saturday

Night Specials
Don’t hide

ma) arms, get

sidearms!

$19.95 at any
Pawn shop.

Four out of five de

Coming to Campus Exterior Baldroom

Lyn Von Hooven

and the Dirty Chicken Pans
Hear their Top 40 hit “Chomp, Chew, Chew,

I edt with my mouth wide open”

Come and Groove with Hoov...
or just Cum

A

drtinaranei

Snorts Foolsday, 1891

Pagina’ Siete

iusertinostinris

Red Auerbach Finally Wins; JD Goes Hardship

by Slob Smell-o-doody

Try and try again is one old adage
that Red Auerbach likes to live by.
Last year, Auerbach tried to lure
then-freshman’ sensation Ralph
Sampson out of his college carcer at
Virginia to join his Boston Celtics
Failing at that, he decided to make
another try for the type of college
center that could, as he put’ it,
assure the NBA franchise of a
Teague title

This time, he has succeeded.

And this time, it is John
Dieckelman,

The Albany sophomore who
averaged over 13 points per game
While leading the Great Danes 10
thelr second straight NCAA East
Regional has decided 10 go hard:
ship, and it is no secret that Auer-
bach wants him — badly

"We think that John ean step
righ! in and give us the versatility
and the type of spirit that should
antee us the crown," Auerbach

said over the phone from his
downtown Boston office, “Afr
Ralph (Sampson) told me he
Wanted to Finish college, 1 im
mediately. started working-on JD
He was second on our list all
along.

Dieckelman niade the announcee
Ment at a press conference held at
the office of Albany coach Dick
Saucrs, who voiced his disappoint
Meni at Dicekelman’s decision, but
Tater said that hie doesn't blame him
for going pro.

“Sure it bothers me that he's
Teaving," the 26-year veteran coach
Said, “but what am 1 goifg to do

AbOUL 11? Look, I got him to gut out
ona Division I team — Til just have
{0 get someone else to do the
same.

Dicekelman came to Ajbany after
@ freshman year at Colgute where
he was a spot starter and sixth man
‘on a pretty mediocre basketball
team, But he was a standout, and

basically wanted to get out of there
and come home to his
Albany, So why is he leaving school
and going to the pros and probably
to Boston, which is still a few hours

“I want the money,"! Dieckelman
sald, trying on his brand new green
sult with the shamrock buttons,
“Red offered me lots and lots of it
He said that if Magic Johnson
could become an NBA star after his
sophomore year, than I was a shoo-
in fo make the allstar team, and
probably be MVP."

{
32 %

“1 couldn't be higher on anyone
in the country than 1am on John,"
Auerbach sald, “There are tons of
real good big men around, but none
of them have what 1 want like John
does, He reminds me a lot of Daye

Cowens when he was young. 1 want

him, and I'll do whatever 1 have to

to get him,"

Dieckelman puts his name on any
contract is guarantce him Bill
Russell's old locker, and buy hima
tweed cap with a snap in the front

Albany sophomore cenier John Dieckelman will he shooting for bigger und
betier thingy. « «

One of the things Auerbach
might have to do before

and a button in the center,

I've been looking for one of

those since high school,'?
Dieckelman said, “but 1 can never
seem (0 find the right one, If i'm
going (0 play up there, they have to
gel me one,

“Whatever he wants,"’ Auerbach
said, ‘he gets, Bill Russell's locker,
a cap — I don't care if he wants to
sit in my office and smoke my clgars
after (he games; JD js the man |
want, and if he thinks he seeds
something, 1 think he's going to get
i

The jump from Division {1
basketball to the professional ranks
is one that no player in history has
been able to make, so why does
Auerbach think that Dieckelman
can?

‘Okay, I'll admit that he's not all
that tall; and he's not all that quick,
and he can't jump all that ell,”
‘Auerbach said, “But when you've
been in the business of building
basketball dynasties as long as 1
have, you can just tell. John has
Boston written all over his face, We
know he's going to make ft,"

++ Whien Ie puts On (he green and white uniform of the Boston Collies,

Albany Finds New A.D.—And it’s Bennie Siegel

Bennie won't be forced (o hang around In a cage in the basement once he
becomes Athletic Director (Photo: Univ, Poo-poo Service)

jee complimented Siegel, especit

by Mare Has To

One of the most deserving men in
the university sports community fins
finally recelved a promotion, After
14 years of long, hard service to the
Albany State athletic depariment,
Equipment Manager Bennie Siexel
has been chosen {0 sicceed Robert
Ford as Athletic Director

“Oy Vey, it's about time | got a
raise,"" said Siegel, who can
be found hurrying all around
University Gym with a hundred
different Keys dangling from his
belt, “They always complain that
the bats are cracked, the towels dir-
ly and now they wen! me (o be the
A.D,"

Siegel is one of the best known
men behind the scenes al University
Gym, He is always called upon
Whenever a problem arises. Anyone
who needs help is always told '"Ask
Bennie,"

Surcly, the university has
benefited'from his presence over the
last 14 years. Besides serving the
varsity athletic teams, he has pro-
vided rellable service 10 those just
using Albany's facilities,

"1 don't know where 1 would
have been without Bennie,” said
former Athletic Director and pre-
sent Albany State head football
coach Robert Ford, ‘1 still don't
know where he keeps our helmets.

Others in the department have

on his enthusiasm towards
ficaty sports,

‘Bennie’s altitude could really
help a team, If only he were three
feci taller,!” Albany State head’
basketball coach Dick Sauers com-
ferring to Sicuel’s lack of

mented,
height,
7m really pleased that there is a

man on the sports staff that gives a
damn about the women’s teams.
Fora guy, he isn't so bad" said
Albany State women's track coach
Barbara Palm

To Bennie, Albany sports is not
just a fob, it's a way of life. He is
Teally proud of the Job he has done
over the last 14 years though he ad-
mits there have been some problems
along the way.

For instance,"’ Bennie remark-
ed, ‘'we always have trouble
deciding which towels are really dir
ty when we have to send them out
to be cleaned — once a month,’’

But Siegel loves the interaction
with the athletes most of all, He has
maintained long-lasting relations
with those who have graced the
hallways of University Gym,

“4Bennie's a cool dude, Each spr-
ing he invites me to have Passover
dinner with him, It's funny how he
ccan be both an excellent equipment
manager and a great Jewish cook at
the same time,” said former basket-
ball standout Winston Royal,

Now Siegel has a new job con-
fronting him, As the new athletic
director, he envisions a great and
promising future for sports here at

Albany. hie plans to acquire
5,0) new purple and gold (owels to.
ehhance school spirit,

“People fee! very proud of their
School when they wear ils colors
around thelr privates,!” Siegel ex-
plained,

He is also @ strong! advocate of
Title IX and hopes to institute a
new women's football team. He
feols this type of program will allow
women who are too fat for regular
varsity sports to play,

‘] think every woman under Title
IX, no matter what thelr size,
should be able {o play intere
collegiate sports," Siegel sald,

Also, the new athletic director
Wants to reinstate the now defunct
men's volleyball team, According.
to Siegel, “Albany State has a lot of,
balls and nets not being used, that
are just laying around in the equip.
ment cage,

“Anyway,” he added, ‘what this
schoo! really needs is Ted Earl,"

However, as Athletic Director,
Siegel has no intention of abandon~
ing his lovable cheerleading image,
Siegel has always helped out the
cheerleaders at football games and
maintains that he will continue to
do 50,

“{'m still gonna go out there with
the girls to root the Danes on, Stan-
ding among those girls with the
bodies they have can make any old
guy feel young, even a guy like
sald Siegel,

ase

by Slob Smell-o-doody

Tt was only a matter of time,

‘And it has finally happened at
Albany State,

The plague of violations of
recruiting standards and the basic
(enets of fair play that has infected
intercollegiate athletics for'the past
yelir of two has made ils way into,
the Albany athletic department,
‘Three varsity coaches — Bob Ford,
Dick Sauers, and Rick Skeel have
been brought up on charges of
recruiting violations and not being
nice guys by the NCAA Commis
sion forthe Prevention of

Recruiting Violations and Basic No!
Niceness (CPRVBNN),

Tt figures:

“T simply cannot believe that the
NCAA, an organization we have
been faithfully a part of for so long,

Bob Ford: Made a shambles of lots

Of good stuff.

~ Twink

(ee

Ford, Sauers

Would even have the slightest suspl-
clons of our being gullly of any
Violations of any kind whatsoever,"
suid Ford, Albany football) coach
and outgoing Athletic Director,
“And to think of all the money
we've pad them in the last three
{years not to look at our books,'*

‘The charges stem from allega-
tions that the three coaches have
promised 10-speed bikes, free Sut-
terburgers (with cheese and bacon),
lickels 10 the Albany Symphony,
and {ifelong memberships to the
Capital District ASPCA, among
other things, to prospective
“student!” athletes,

It is also alleged that the coaches
have offered those athletes who
have performed the best free tickets
to the Albany State Cinema, rides
home after practices, and an extra
in their boxed lunches on
road trips

“This is possibly the worst case

Of widespread corruption and not-
nic
on the college level,"? said commis-
sion chairman Harland J, McKen-
na, a veteran of 34 years of college
investigations, "We plan to throw

s we have ever come across

the book at those damn Dan

The individual cases of rotten
sportsmanship are even more
disturbing, and more shocking —
and it appears the biggest criminal is
Skeel,

Ih his second year as Albany
baseball coach, Skeel has worked t0
rebuild a stagnating and stale pro-
gram which was never really that
good {o begin with, He has made a
tittle progress, Now it appears the
fun is over.

“1 think that this is finally my
team — one that I can ‘call my
awn," sald, “And now they
me up with this nonsense, All 1

know fs that it’ not true, I've seen
the teams at the college world
series, and I know we can be one of
them, IU's because 1 worked, and 1
slaved, and I lured all those great
plichers and hitters from those
Division I schools — not because |
did something illegal."

McKenna said that Skeel promis-
ed players lessons in his patented
midwestern accent, and offered one
player his secret to eternal blond
hair,

Although Skeel was the biggest
offender, Ford stands to lose the
most. He recently announced his
resignation as Athletic Director
because of a personal inability to

Rick Skeel: Beautiful blond up the
river without a bal,

fulfill the dual responsibilities of the
Job and football conch, but McKen-
na thinks, in light of the allegations,
that he quit for other reasons,

“I cannol help but believe that
the Bipper was up to some dirty
pool,” he sald, ‘Fourteen players
in the last (Wo years were supposed
{0 go fo better football schools, but
they somchow wound up at Albany.
Something smells, and I'm going to
get fo the bottom of it,

“There is one thing 1 don’t
Understand," he continued, “If
they did all those rotten things, why
were they only 5-52!"

Ford is guilly of the severest of
the incentive violations. The NCAA
Tule book allows some minor incen:
tive awards to be given out, but
MeKerina said that Ford has gone
too fat.

“Not only has he abridged the
coaches code of honor, but he's
made a shambles of everything
good and nice about being a coach
in America," McKenna said

Aside the usual pats on the rear
ends thal Ford gives his most stellar
performers, McKenna said thal the
coach allowed certain players to be
late for practices without excuses,
and permitted them to wear dirty
socks and (shirts, That is strictly
prohibited by the NCAA rule book,

"As far as I'm concerned, his
career is over,"’ McKenna affirmed,

Sauers, McKenna said, “has

gone against everything that is reale ,

ly good and nice in basketball, He
makes normal college students run.
around in circles. He yells at them,
‘and rarely has the common courtesy
to change his suit, With all those
wins, the least he could do is wear
different clothes,"”

McKenna sighted Sauers' major
infraction as being the return of

| NCAA Nabs Great Dane Coaches For Bad Stuff
Skeel Get Nailed

Winston Royal from the Dominican
Republic team (o the Danes.

“J cannot belleve that Sauers told
him that, after one year off, he
could start over and play four
more," said McKenna.

‘But Savers denied this. “What I
said was that if he came back 10
Albany, he could s/ay four more —
not play. He must've
misunderstood me,” Sauers said,

“1 don't care who said what.
That Sauers is out," McKenna said
in response.

So the rash of illegality and rot-
tenness in college sports continues
Even in Division 111, no schoo! ap
pears to be beyond suspicion,

“Vim glad of one thing,”
Ford, always the optimist, “At lc:
1 got fo go to Florida, and 1 didn't
even have to pay for it,””

Dick Sauers: Went against
everything good and nice,

No Umps, No Softball, Says Pissed Off Elkin

Clyde (insert) will be replacing Dennis Elkin as AMIA Director and will

probably do a better Ju

by Larry Kan't

Citing a lack of student umpires
and ‘Just the incredible pain in the
ass! of scheduling over 1,000
games, AMIA Director Dennis
Bikin officially cancelled the spring.
softball program yesterday

‘Over 400 teams with over 6,000
individuals on their rosters had an-
ticipated the start of the program
this week, However, only four.peo-
ple signed up to umpire the games,

“We cannot operate with less
than 35 umpires,"” Elkin stated em-
phatically. “Only four have signed
up so far — one of them Is blind,
one is crippled, one is crazy and the
other Is my mother."

"You would have (o be eliher
crazy or Elkin's mottier (6 work for
those Coolie wages and take the
abuse that AMIA umpires are sub:
jected to," noted one former um~
pire. ‘Last year 17 umpires were in
volved in incidents ia which they
were physically abused, Of these,
three were permanently crippled by
baseball bats, one was brutally gang
raped by an entire League 11 B team
and one has a spike lodged in his
id Ie still hurts when 1 sit

The difficulty of scheduling all of
the games necessary was another.

problem Elkin could not overcome

Ideally we would like to
schedule at least six games for each
team before we begin playoffs,"
said Elkin, “But with only 50 play:
ing-days we would have some pro-
blems. We figured out that we
would have to start the playoffs
Well before the season began and
climinate about 50 teams before
they even played one game,

“Thal wouldn't be fair nor make
much sense so We just scrapped the
season, Maybe we'll try it again
next year and see What happens,!*
he continued, ‘Besides, there was
no Way I was going to sit there and
Iry {0 make up that schedule, How
much do you think they pay me to
do this job anyway? A ‘monkey
could do the job that 1 do,”

In addition, Elkin has announced
that ‘all student bond money col.
lected, over $5,000, will not be
fefinded,

“Half of it is already spent,"
in noted. *We have a lot of ex-
penses — somebody has to pay for
all the softballs, bats ‘and pizza we
bought already, Surely you don't
expect me fo pay It out of my own
pocket — how much do you think
they pay me for this job? A monkey
could do the Job that I do.

Student reaction. to the an:
nouncements has been mixed —
half of the teams contacted wanted
to hang Elkin immediately, ‘fy
the highest tree we can fing
one irate captain, and the ¢
wanted to tar and fe
before they hang him, OP.

“This is an outrage,
Class of 1981 president Garys
sky, “'Softball is the life a
breathe of this campus and Mr
Elkin is suffocating us all, Besides, 1
thought my (cam was ready (0 wil,
{tall this year,"?

“tt really stinks,!” commented
fone disenchanted member of the
Chin Brothers baliclub. “Now wo
don't Have any reason to have a big
party and hang that eA

‘oul of our window."*

“It doesn't matter that n
said’ a JW. Buzz Bro
spokesman, just
anather way to get into fl
Maybe we'll just (errorize little
ladies in the park or something,”

“1-don't know what I'm going to
do without softball,’’ said one
distraught little Awesome. **How
‘can we let Elkin do this to us — how
much ere we paying him, anyway?
A monkey could do that job bet-
ter,"

CRACKING DOWN ON “ADULT ENTERTAINMENT”

@ tried to be as discreet as possible
as we ducked info what would
have been the living room of a

Wood frame two story house, Merchandise
displayed on tightly packed shelves and
racks ranged from pornographic novels and

Beth Sexer and Jim Dixon

dildiis, vilsral oliseeiiy

magazines. tn
decks of playing cards and other marital aids
Not that we were looking too closely

We introduced ourselves fo the cashier at
register of the Adult
diate

ih
Bookstore

Continental
1 Schenectady. Her im
reaction was to yell “Whoa!” and:call in a
large gentleman from the back room, We

looked around, Wondering if Dan Rather
had walked into the room and we hadn't

id. He hadn't, and we were left w

possibility that we were the source of

all this fuss
We introduced ourselves to ihe large
gentleman, explained we were researching a
story on “adult entertainment in the Capital
District” and wondered if he'd be willing to
talk to us, He wasn't, He was willing to give
us the name and number of his attomey.
Adult bookstores have existed in Schenec
approximately eight years
However, in the last wo years they have
Come under Increasing attack by city officials
community groups, and some say. ihe
media, 10 pack their b
they want to close the stores, but the law
doesn't give them the right,”

tady for

leave.

said Attorney

George Camino, who is representing the
Continental Adult Bookstore

Schenectady County District Aitorney
Jolin B, Poersch denied that he is trying to
shut down the stores

“What I'm trying to do Is 0 stop the sale of
obscene iilerature in the city.”

One might wonder if there's any dif.
ference.

Poersch explained that undercover agents
are sent into adult bookstores to buy several
books or magazines, The materials are
brought to a judge who determines if they
are obscene by standards defined in the New
York Siate Penal Code, Article 235 titled
‘Obscenity and Related Offenses.”

The code states tha}, “Any material or per
formance is ‘obscene’ if (a) the average per

AT OFF RATHER

siart walking oul
“Besides,” he added, “A nice soft-core

movie is a great place for a guy and a girl, I

eit night rather nicely —
lr whole

might start of
maybe even

But what exactly is the effect of going to an.
x-rated movie?

talking to several people who attend:

ed Emanuelle. it was clear that many people
didn't just-go for a. "goof” or because there
was nothing better to do.
ily enough, although everyone | spoke
th » be at the
movie, no ane wished to be identified

i don't know why I went,” said a guy who
be identified as a

wished searching

sophomore.

My girlfriend and | broke up
id 10 see.

aboul three weeks ago and | need
You know how iti

the movie," he s
or Isn't. Besides, | figured | might meet so:
meone there. What beiter place to meet so:
meone

Anolher sophomore was a little more ex:
plicit: “Many guy didn't get a hard:on during
at least one part of the movie, I'd say he
didn't see the screen clearly, | w

frustrated afterwards, | wished | hadn't seen
ih”

[took my gitlfriend’ so she might learn
mething." another guy sald jokingly as he
his gitlriend a little closer. “No

“somelimes it does

pul
seriously,
make things a litle beiter.”

The women in the audience were less anx:

he added

{ous to talk, but those who did had similar
guys, "When I go to a movie
ing. vicariously," one
1 felt things right

reactions to th
i's lke |

like that
female junior admitted.
along with Emanuelle.”

Another girl said she doesn't see what all,
the fuss is about porn movies, considering
what other movie choices there are.
“Personally I'd rather watch \wo people
‘screwing each other than killing each other,’
she sald matter-offactly

‘Others just said they looked at it as a kick
or something to kill an otherwise dull even:
ing. They used words like “goof, “joke,” or
“new experience."

NICELY”

For the most part, no one seemed thal un-
comfortable being there. The marke! for
pom materials, in general, experts agree, Is

nol confined to perverts or other emotional

cripples. To the contrary, the largest market
is made up of seemingly “normal” people

who don't oppear any different from anyone

According to the California Depariment of
Justice, the national pornographers do. a
good $4 billion-a-year business — about as
much as the conventional motion picture
and record industries combined:

Asfor as Emanuelle went, | have to admit
1 was slightly disappointed, Perhaps | ex

pecied scum-of-the-earth depravity, but alter

awhile | found the whole film rather
monotonous and unreal,

Later on, | talked to @ guy who was in line
for Emmanuelle's competitor, 200]
He embarrassedly admitted he had never
seen a porno movie, “t-don't really think |
want (o," he sald quietly, “Those movies
concern a part of living I prefer not to share
with a lot of unidentified people in a lecture
center.

“However, i's not as if 'm not interested
in that part of living," he smiled. "I just don't
want to watch other people do It, Lthink I'd
rather do it myself, . 5

son, applying contemporary community
standards, would find that considered as a
Whole, iis predominant appeal’ is fo the
prurient interest in sex, (b) li depleis or
describes in a patently offensive manner, ac-
tual or simulated; sexual Intercourse,
sodomy, sexual bestialiiy, masturbation,
sadism, masochism, excretion or lewd ex
hibition of the genitals, and (c) considered as

i Jacks serious Merary, artistic
political, and scientific value

Ifthe fudge finds that thie materials may be
obscene, he issues a warrant for the arres! of
ihe store owners and confiscales only thos
malerials researched

A jury (twelve fiterary, critics
presume) then decides if the materials ac
Though the owner, if

a whole.

{ually are obscene
found guilly, may be fined orjailed, the store
is not closed, and only those majerials judg
ed obscene are banned from urher sale

This means that aduli bookstore owners
are bouncing in and out of courl, bul show

no signs of faking their business elsewhere.

Poerscli said’ thal around 1975 Alban
County used a more economical and effec
tive method of prosecuting adull bookstores
A judge

bookstore and its

would personally

werchandise, and il he

found several moterials that he considered
obscene he would issue a warrant for the
complete confiscation of the store's entire in
veniory,

Albany Disirict Atlorney Sol Greenberg
said that a higher court ruled that this
method is unconstilutional since it involves
“the confiscation of property without due
A court order also now states thal
ch printed matier may be
lew. Camino, however

process.
only one copy of e

confiscated for rei

implies that the current process |s still decen> a
tive, The undercover agents, he sald, "buy #
the Worst items they can find, and they bring
those out q

As proof, Camino related thal a year ago j
sinie police: conducted a massive search of @
anadult bookstore in Utica called "The Adull §
Boutique.” All items In the store were con: %}
fiscated

A judge reviewed all the iiems, including
the non-printed matter, and found that "70
percent should be returned immediately! to
the store, and "30 percent might be found!
to be obscene, A jury later ruled that none of
the material in the store was, in fact,
obscene,

The prohibition of only sp
not satisfy all people

“Pornography is demeaning to any decent
person, especially fo women and children,”
said Arthur Comstock, an associate of the
recently Citizens Against Por
nography (CAP).

CAP recently submitted a peiition listing
approximately 8,000 signatures to Cily Hall
prolesting the presence of the four adult
bookstores niow operating In Schenectady.

In addition to their appeals to several city
officials, including Mayor Frank Ducl and the
city council, the'group has picketed the adult
bookstores,

ific tems does

formed

Comstock expressed optimism that CAP's
efforts will eventually lead to the elimination

of the bookstores in Schenectady,

Photo: Suna Steinkamp

Inspect a

[really don't care what people do in their
‘own homes,” sald Poersch,". . . however, |
know that the law fs that you cannot legally
sell obscenities . . . and those that do so are
going fo be prosecuted."

“Pornography Is not a victimless crime!
He cited the models who pose for the
mogazines as victims, for one example.

Poersch also stated that the pornography
{rode otiracts prostitution and organized
rime into the area, and increases the rime
rate.

We fourid {nour Investigations that pro:
stilution became very prevalent here. We
had a problem which would rival New York
City's.” Alihough he adinitied that prostitu
tion could be found in several parts. of
Schenectady. Poersch said that the highest
ale of prostitution Is centered around thase
dull bookstores a

areas wh situat
We lave fortuiiately been able to get tid of
76:80, percent of that, And in doing so, we
got tid of probably 90 percent of thy street
erline ii that area
So adill bookstores ailrael prostitulion
‘and street crime? And controlling all this Is
nized crime? Poersely seams {o think s0.
And all these happenings. Poersch added
give people in the surrounding area the idea
"thal good old Schenectady is the place for

action

Camino disagrees

Pointing out that pornography Is
“absolutely legal” in Denmark, Camino said,
“1 don't see that there's a vast amount of
rime there.”

Does pornography encourage rape?

“(don't knaw of a ease where the) rapist
had a pomographic book in hiss back
pockel,” said Camino.

Pornography Is “harmless it handled by
adulis capable of handling if.” he added
However, Camino believes that the media
coverage of he controversy surrounding
‘dull bookstores Is highly overblown and)

distorted

"We're trying to Keep it out of the public
View," Camino sald, “The district attorney
(Poersch) creates a larger problem than ac:
{ually exists, and the press plays along with it

The disitict altorney wanis to get his
name In the paper ... They don't put
anything in the paper when the bookstores
win!

Comino accused Poersch of allowing
photographers "to bust in (adult bookstores),
‘and take photos without permission, They're
doing it with the district attorney and the aid
of the police,"

‘The pornography issue 1s not likely to be
resolved in the near future,

For Camino, the Issue involves the princl-
ple of free enterprise, For others, the Issue Is
one of community standards and ethics,

*Pomography and prostitution have been
here since the days of the: first man, and
Woman on earth," said Greenberg, "The ob-
Jective Is to contain it," ,

‘he Local Pornography Scene

Ha

i

rr

|
i

April 3, 198;

Sound & Vision-

fee = :
New Directions For Jazz

Miles had ploneered two new directions in

Miles Davis 1 Chambers (to name a few), some of the
Directions most influential records were cut Including Jazz, Influenced numerous players such as
Columbia Milestones and especially Kind of Blue. With Sonny Rollins, Bill Evans and John Coltrane

Miles’ economical playing and Coltrane's and a change was inevitable. Along with

‘nce again We are reminded of a soul-searching tenor saxophone a great con- teenager Tony Williams, Ron Carter, and
genlus that has gone into seclusion trast of diametrically opposed musical aims Herbie Hancock, he constructed an uncann-

‘and has left much great music Was presanted and worked Incredibly well. ingly flexible and sensitive rhythm section
behind to remind us of his past and outs and Modes were used as the basis for |mprovisa- that was capable of creating @ sinuous

hhas also left us with hopes for more to come, polyrhythmic sound, Three saxophonists
Miles Davis last performed in 1975 and since
that time hls private life has been shrouded in

talos of disease, new directions _and_the

Steve Popper

onigoing effects that his music has had on all”

types of Western music. To label Miles as 3
bopper, fhodal free, or fusion player is to do
him great injustice

It [s true that he was a pioneer be-bop

trumpeter with Charlie Parker's quintets of
the mid 1940's, but that was not his true
idiom, The "cool" was born at his fingertips
When In the late 40's ond early 50's his un}
que Birth of the Coo! and the Ideas surroun-
ding it made an allstoo-briel appearance on
the scene, but eft such players as Lee Konitz
and Gerry Mulligan with timeless inspiration

The early 50's sessions for Blue Note show-
‘ed Miles making the transition from cool to
more modal jazz, The 1955 Newport Jaze
Festival brought his passion for biting off ong
legato lines abruptly and generating intensity
without screaming fo the publi’s ear. Unlike
other trumpet players, Miles had an acute
sense for sparseness and quietness. Veteran
trumpeter Roy Eldridge called it "mouse
music," because of lis seemingly tame quall

{y but Miles’ quintet of the 1957-59 period
pul {0 rest all such Invalid erticisms. Along
with John Coltrane, Philly Joe Jones, Can-
nonball Adderley, Red Garland and Paul

tion and the effect that this approach had on
Jazz in particular is stil being felt today. Col-
laborations with arranger Gil Evans produc:
ed three beautiful records: Sketches of
Spain, Porgy & Bess and Miles Ahead,
Which featured Miles’ trumpet over a densely
textured orchestra and which helped to
make him the most popular trumpet player
in Jazz af that time.

Rich Man, Poor Man,

passed through the ranks; George Coleman,
Hank Mobley and finally Wayne Shorter
Recordings such as E.S.P. and Miles in the
Sky exhibit these new harmonic and
thythmie freedoms at thelr most creative
Electronic. keyboards and bass were in-
troduced as were Chick Corea, Joe Zawinol,
Dave Holland, John MeLaughlin, Keith Jar-
ret and many others In varying combina:
tions: Critics and jazz fans fancy calling Miles
‘a trendsetter arid maker of jazz stars, but that
Is old hat. We are left with the sounds on
Vinyl to verify our fanciful atempts at describ-
ing genlus
This present collection features unreleased
material from 1960-1970. These “outtakes”
which Miles has now approved for release
Include a Gil Evans orchestration, a version
of Thelonius Monk's Round Midnight
recorded in San Francisco, studio sessions
with Jack DeJohnette on drums, 1968 ses-
sions featuring Chick Corea on electric piano
and Dave Holland on electric bass as well as
John McLaughlin and Billy Cobham from a
1970 New York date. Three periods of Miles
Davis are presented on this {wo-record set
with incredible clarity and in a logical and
chronological progression. From the straight
ahead sounds of So Near, So Far to the elec:
tric jazzy {unk vibrations of Directions the
listener has the opportunity and the privilege
fo make the- transition along with Miles,

These “outtakes” are in no way inferior to

Greats

the other material recorded at the sessions;
they are of equal Importance to jazz and to
the Jazz listener and one can only hope that
the Columbia tape Vaults hold more in store
for Miles Davis followers. Regardless of
where Miles Davis is and what he Is doing,
one thing can be assured: he prefers the
music to speak for. jiself and has always
preferred It that way. Let it!

Jack DeJohnette
New Directions Live in Europe
ECM

his band recorded in the studios for
F E.C.M, records back in 1978 ond
this 1979 date recorded in
Switzerland assures the listener that the band
has the same telepathic abilities in the studio
as it does in concert. Three of the four tunes
performed on this disc are on the studio
date, All four are DeJohnette compositions,
Side One opens with Jack soloing on his
small set on which he has the ability to play
With incredible subtlety and fire Inter
changeably like so few drummers can, He
tolls out the red carpet for Salsa for Eddie G
and i's namesake bassist Eddie Gomec
Along with Lester Bowie on trumpet and
John Abercrombie on guitar and electric
mandolin, this tightly woven composition
unfolds rapidly as all members rise to meet
gach other at newly attained musical planes
DeJohnette which develops inio a duet with
Eddje Gomez whereupon Lester Bowie and
John Abercrombie combine to paint on the
canvas created by DeJohnette and Gcmez.
Lester Bowie has the most unique irumpet
sound in new music and no words can effec-
tively describe the sounds he coaxes from his
horn, Thisis a fine record; what is eft to say?y

Michael Mann’s Thief

§ an amateur performer | tend (0.
review films from the standpoint of

1 found the acting performances {o be
All cast members tumed in profes
how good orbad the acting was, or sional performances, None were really
ery once in a wile a film comes quistanding. bul then the flm did not con
along in which the acting, even though fine. cenirate on character development, It's high
{is nol ihe inferesting or duisianding fealure {ime Tuesday Weld, Hollywood's perennial

“dumb blonde," was given a role with some
Mark Muratore

real depiti tu it, Weld’s performance in Thief
‘of the film, Michael Mann's Thief Is one ol

Js encouraging
these exceplions.

Wasi!

Enough about acting. Thief is Michael
Mains first feature film. He directs it, he is

Winners, Losers,
Jokers, Boozers

GF he Academy Awards Tuesday night were extremely predictable, This being the
case, | was wrong on every major prediction.

Stil, who would have though! that Robert Redford, a first-timer, would have
really won Best Director? And who would have thought that for once Best Screenplay
[would have gone (o the same film as Best Picture?

Yet one musi applaud the Academy for a few minor facets, which are encouraging. The
‘show was brought In in under four hours. And the vollng rules were made {un of by having
them recited by a chorus of tap-dancing ushers,

“They'll be back a litle later to sing you the rules of the 10-40 form,
Johnny Carson, who was In rare form.

Robert Redford actually showed up, as did Robert DeNiro. In fact, all the major winners}
Were there, Redford gave a marvelous acceptance speech, and was truly gracious prese
ting a special award to Henry Fonda, DeNiro rambled incoherently, thanking everybody in
sight, including Joey LaMotta, "who's suing us.”

Billy Deo Williams and Peter O'Toole (I don't give a shit what anyone says
have won) were the only obviously intoxicated presenters — an alltime low,
(Of course, John Huston wasn't there and he's usually good for three or four average!
drunkards.)

Dolly Parton was spilling out of a gown apparently made of spray paint and sequins, and
did a lousy rendition of her song "9 to 5." Irene Cara also performed a miserable arrange:
‘ment of both "Fame" and “Out Here On My Own."

The surprise laugh of the evening turned out to be Luciano Pavarotti who presented Best
Song with an obsequlous Angle Dickinson. Pavaroit| appeared to be nervous — mispro:
nouncing Willie Nelson's name, The tenor’s éyes lit up as he announced Dolly Parton's
nomination — but who could blame him. How much fun could kissing Michael Gore be?|
Sul, t did run less than four hours, Reagan's video-taped message was short, and even)
to the point, The opening production number wasn't bad, for once, and some of the other
{ilm-clip segments, such as honoring famous bits of movie dialogue, were well-put together]

land even fun,
‘And what the hell, Redford we Bison

quipped Emcee

he should

the execulive producer, and he wrote the
seripl. And
teresting film. Visually outstanding, the col

Mann has produced an in:

rs are rich and well defined, and Mann's
camera seldimgels in the way of the action,

producing the effect of allowing the audience
the feel part of the scene

Thief is another of this year’s movies
which is based on a hovel (Home Invasions
by Frank Hohimer): Thief is @ film thal
makes the viewer pause, and confront some
very uncomfortable emotions, We are given,
as hier figures, jewel thieves, Obyiously &
thief of any ype fs nota pleasant sort of per
501), bul i (hls film there are {he thieves (our
good guys), and the eriminals (ile Mafia, of
course), The thieves, and the thlef (played
by James Caan), are pitted agalist the pra
fessivital, and. cold-hearted big business
gangsters. This Is
Which forces the audi
the real world there are inv purely good guys
Verses purely bad guys. but only degrees of
good and bad

Certainly this aspect of Thief will open it
up to much eritieism, but it Is an Intelligent
Way 10 look at the rigors of Iie in the late
20th ceisiury. That we are (rying (0 survive a
battle agaist forces outside our control is the
Ceniral message of this movie.

Though Caan and his cronies are pitied
against some very ruthless characiers who
force Caan 10 destroy the fabric of his life,
Caan Wins in the end, The last 20 minutes of
Thief ore grophically violent, and very
depressing, bul al the same time, optimist,
No maifer how bad a situation gets, we are
told, If you are willing to rely heavily enough
‘on your own resources, you will emerge as
the victor. Billy Jack, and Its “one tin soldier
rides away” theme are echoed in this flm’s
closing message, and let me emphasise
again. Manny makes these statements visual:
Vy

1 inspired plot device
ce {0 realize that in

What is perhaps the most outsianding
feature of this project Is that many of its
stalements, which are substantial, are made
by the camera and music. and not by the in-

ept and/or inane dialogue, In this respect
one is reminded of All The President’s Men
Ih fact, many of the shots, particularly one
seemingly pointless. but nonetheless. in
leresting, of a seeminaly bottomless stairwell
are lifted directly from that film

For the first time in a long time, a film

relies on music to set dramatic tone, and im
Parl a symbolic message, The music for Thief
was dane by Tangerine Dream (wha alsa did
the music for William Friedkin's Sorceror a
few years back.) Their electronic style. |s
brilliantly utilized by Manni The music in
Thief becomes a metaphor for the jife of
Frank (James Caan.) This is supported by
the fact that Frank Is pushed fo the limit by

e ERE RS

in another Caan job.

the mob, and must regain control over the
Me he once had. To do this, Frank must
destroy, one piece at a time, the com
ponents of his life which detract from his in
er sirength. The moment that the last
Vestige of his exterlor visage Is removed, the
music (which had suddenly stopped)
Tesumes, and becomes louder as Frank
Walks into the night and the movie fades top
its end

There {sa statement in Thief, It is
simultaneously depressing and uplifting, To

understand this apparent
paradox, you must
fee the flm. And | urge you to do ao, ®

aero)

j
4
|

Heri! 3, 1981

= - Sound & Vision:

—1Page'7a}

Time to Care

Telethon Performs A Special Task

‘or most, SUNYA's Telethon is the

{wenty-four hours of student enter-

tainment that begins this evening In.
the Campus Center Ballroom, I's also ten
months of fund raising, including Afternoon
at the Bars, the Dance Marathon, raffle
sales, and a host of other events.

Beth Sexer

But tomorrow night, after the lights dim;
after the last bar closes and the sales end, the
real business of Telethon '81 continues: the
business of caring,

Maiiy students are not acquainted with the
recipients of the {unds Telethon '81 Is rals
Last year, Telethon '80 ralsed over
45,000 dollars for the Wildwood School for
Developmentally Handicapped children in
Schenectady and the SUNYA Big Brother.
Big Sister Program. This year, Telethon will
donate iis proceeds to the Parkhurst
hildren’s Shelter in Schenectady and New
York Special Olympics Area 10.
Since 1914; the Parkhurst Children's
Shelter has provided emergency and tem:
porary care and abused

for neglected
children aged 28 days to 18 years. The
children are referred to Parkhurst by both
public and private agencies in Schenectady.

Albany, Saratoga and surrounding counties.

Once a child Is placed in Parkhurst, ex:
plained the Shelter's director Larry Brown,
"We try (o assess the current situation of the
child and try to plot a course for the
most reasonable permanent living situation

for that child,"
Last year, children brought to Parkhurst

stayed for an average period of two weeks,
Parkhurst can house up to 10 children at a
time and accommodates approximately 250
children per year.

After that, there are a range of options
considered for a more permanent living er-
rangement for the child

‘The most desirable option is to return the
child to his home. If the home situation Is
found to be Impossible, options such as
releasing the child for adoption or placing
him in a foster family or group home are ex:
plored. The least desirable option, that of
placing the child in an institutional home, fs
considered only if the child is too disturbed
to continue ia the other environments
Brown sald, the
Parkhurst has shifted. While
ns as a 24-hour shelter
for children in need of protection, more at
ards helping the
family cope with bad situation.

The Child Welfare Reform Act of 1979,

Ih the last two years,
focus of
Parkhurst still fun

tention will be directed to

which took effect Wednesday
substantial increase in ‘preventive service’ to
provide intensive counseling services to avert
and prevent placement jn the foster care
system.

More
though, Brown said, is a November 15 state

* said Brown

significant than the reform act

change in designation” of Parkhurst froma

group home to a group emergency care

facility
“Parkhurst

Warehouse

had historically been a
Kids that didn't have a place to
go were dropped al the shelte

However, along with increased funding
and additional staff at Parkhurst, the shelter
has become more Involved In the evaluation
and decision-making concerning a child's
situation.

Brown added thai Dr. Thomas Travantzis,
who assumed the position of Executive
Director of Parkhurst {wo years ago, has
“changed and expanded the focus of the
program.” Proceeds from Telethon "81 will
be used to help expand Parkhurst program
ming, such as providing in-home counseling
to families, rather than removing the child

from the home

“The focus is no longer just on the child
or the mother-we look al the family syste
We're going to the source,” said Brown

Brown sald that there js no way to
generalize about the feelings of those
children brought to Parkhurst. "When a child
we're talking about a

comes to Parkhurst

child in crisis, . . we're dealing with a very

Slugfest 81
We Bug A Never

ay back in the beginning of the
semester, | few mini
reviews of some newly released
albims. Included Th that article was a review
of an album called Cognac and Bologna by a
band called Doug and the Slugs. Well, | was

Slug Wolf

—$——_—_
pretiy enthusiastic about this new band, and

after seeing them twice in concert over the
past {wo weeks, it seems | picked them right
While talking to a few of my friends who
have listened to the album, | noticed that
they all seem to agree that the band is good.
However, they've told me that “They'll
never make it big with a name like Doug and
the Slugs.” You know what guys? Who the
hell cares? The music does all of the talking
When these guys start o play, It doesn't mat
{er if their name was Dogshit, they'd still be a
great band, (O.K. maybe Dogshit is going a
lite overboard, but you det the point.)
The Slugs do not have any set type of
music or style, Their songs range from "New
Wave" to Swing to Blues, all of which is
done with just one thing in mind — that the
fistener have fun and enjoy himself, And en:
Joy oneself one does!
‘Over the spring break,
came Into J.B. Scot's with the Slugs —
Richard Baker on Gibson guitar;

Stave

John Burton on Fender
‘and John

Bosley on bas
Strat; Simon Kendall on Keys:
Wally Watson on drums. Not too many peo
ple caught that show because of the break,
but those who did made damn sure the Slugs
came back one more time before returning to
Canada

As is their custom, the Slugs opened the
enth, the

show minus Doug. On the
opening number was an instrumental that
had Just a hint of a Dire Straits influence in it
John Burton took the lead guitar on this
song and showed the audience just what he
could do, Both he and Baker are exiremely
talented guitarists who exchange lead and
thythm depending on the song.

: Py,

evening at home

helpless or a very angry child,"

Brown approximated that one-third of he
children view Parkhurst as a haven. “I's a
safe place. The rest (of the children) is a mix-
ed bag,!"

Telethon Co-Chair David Yokel sald that
“most of the people who visited Parkhurst
from SUNYA were very hesitant at first

eee:

Becouse they did not understand the
children's handicap, they didn't know whol
{0 expect

“L personally fellhat it was hard to talk to
the Parkhurst children at first because | knew
they felt the stigma of being neglected) or
abused,"" Yokel said

During the course of the year, Telethan'81
field several parties and vised with the
Parkhurst children to encourage interaction
between them and the students

Just recently, Telethon staff visiied

arkhurst to spend a couple of hours with
them," Yokel sald. "Most of the kids there
had just recently come to the shelter,and
because of this, i Was like starting over again
in getting to know them; We found the kids
to be very receptive and excited about our

Doug Bennott then made his entranc
the band proceeded into what Is probably
thelr most well known song, "Chinalown
Calculation." The rest of the night was a
series of original songs, and oldies such as
James Brown's "| Feel Good,” Belween
songs Doug would crack Jokes about mastur
bation and sex, which, it seems, are his
favorite subjects next to Rock 'n' Roll

Bennett looks something like a chubby,
middle aged banker rather than the Rock 'n!
Roller that he is, But he sings with intensiiy,
and knows how to get & crowd up and dane:
ing, By the end of the night he had the
crowd of perhaps one hundred people bop:
ping fo the "Cool Jerk" and calling the band

Doug Bennett Doug, John, Rick, Steve, Simon and John Wally enjoying a relaxing

Visit, Because of our visit the children will feel
more comfortable when they come to
Telethon tonight.”

The second. recipients of Telethon '81
funds, New York Special Olympics Area.10,
‘was organized in 1970 to provide sports
training end participation for approximately
1,000 mentally retarded children in Albany,

Schenectady, Rensselaer, Schoharl, Col:
umbia and Greene counties

Special Olympics Js based on the belief
that, through athletic competition and con
{inued encouragement to participate in
sports, nintally handicapped individuals
cary gain confidence in themselves and bulld
a more positive self image.

The proceeds Area 10 recelves will be us
éd (6 provide facilities and equipment for
{raining programs as well as Uniforms and
transportation to and from events for Area
10 athletes

“Telethon is one of the most exciting
events that our athletes ever had a chance to
experience," said Area 10 Fundraising and
Public Relations Chair Lyn Polser. “And
that excitement will continue thanks (o the
monies thal will be realized by this benefit

"We're really delighted with Telettion and
all the wonderful friends we've made at
SUNYA."

Telethon Co-chair Sidonie Contino said,
4] think we've learned a lot about what
Parkhiurs! and Special Olympics do for the
Kids that they serve by v orking not only with
the kids, but with the staff too.

I'm sure thal the students who were in:
volyed with Telethon view their experiences
fas very rewarding ones."

Taking Time to Care," the theme of
Telethon ’81, captures tlie spiril of those
Who have donated thelr time and money fo
help disadvantaged children, Tonight, al
8,00 pim., all University and community
members are invited to help the ballroom.
come alive for the 24-hour culmination of a
year of warmth, caring and devotion, @

cores,

back for what seemed like fifty ¢
Nobody wanted the show to end, but'the
band had to travel South to do shows in New
York ond Washington, D.C, They did pro:
mise to’ be back, however, and last Friday
they made good on it

Friday's show was, If it Is at all possible,
even better than the first. There was a sizable
crowd at J.B. Scotts and they were hungry
for a good time, From the first song to the
last, people were cheering, dancing and
having a good time, Once again the Slugs
ran through thelr originals while adding a
fow surprises such as the classic "96 Tears,"

For the final song of the set, the band hag
» special surprise In store. Blotto, the band
he Slugs had toured with, came on stage,
‘and fogether they did a fantastic version af
“Secret Agent Man,” Once again the crowed
did not want the band to leave, and had
them come back for two encores, They end:
ed the show with a beautiful rendition of
"Tropical Rainstorm," a song this writer feels
is thelr best. This rendition had the crowd
swaying and couples slow dancing.

Doug and the Slugs may have a funny
name, but they are definitely nothing to
laugh at, If you've never heard their songs,
suy, borrow, or steal their album; you won't
be disappointed. If they ever visit Albany.
‘again, catch them; you'll have the time of
you're life,

Nie een

m Lea

Meloin & Howard
Albany State Cinema
Apocalypse Now

April 2,3 8 4,

April 4, 7:30,

Info. 785-1515

Performing Arts Center
Forbidden Games

10:00 Le 1

:00, 10:00 The Egg
April 5, 2 p.m, LC 18 4 Midsummer Night's Dream
International Film Group

Finian’s Rainbow April 5, 7:30, 10:00 LC 1
Colussus The Forbin Project

April 3,4.8:30

Dr
Info 377-6815

‘Apna Lecture
a Ptl4 The Changing Functions of Chinese
7:30 P.m- Mass Medi

April 5 2:00 p.m.

Apiil 6-10 10:00 a.m. Cay

April 8 & 10 7:30 p.m,

Four S.

tums of Fire

mnival April

info 459-3100

April 10 8:00 p.m.

April 74:00 p.m. LC 23
ions Dinner Theatre

April 3, 1981]
Cine 123456 Performing Arts Center
| The Postman ant Rings Twice on University Symphonic Band April 8:00 free|
35, 11:50 Senior Recital April 9 8:30 free
Tess Eight Step Coffee Hou:
‘American Pop. Martin Groswend April3
Nick Plakias April 4
Stir Crary J.B.Scotts
NRBQ Apail 3
Iaior ati John Poussetie:Dart April4
ems. Imes Bogarts
8:40, 10:40! Onis April &4|
Hellman Theatre :
Roging Bull 5) HullaBallo
Rolling Stone Midnight Bonn irs April3 &q|
Ce oe 2 00, 2:40, 615,7,00, Tower East Cinema Performing Arts Center Gemini
PUNTA Ss 40, 10:18 MY Bodvauard April 3 & 4, 7:30, 10:00 Fat's Jefferson April 3 & 4
as Magle Sh April4 8:00 p.m. Lark T
Final Confilct 2:16, 4:30, 7:15, 9:30 ge Street Theatre sei Skidmore Theatre te Sacha Grater April 3 & 4
Cine 7 IReainadiion ‘April3,4,5 7:15, 9:35 The Croyon Trilogy April 6-10 8:00 p.m.
Great Santini 7:90; 9:45 Toke the Money and Run free
Madison Apa 78,9 7:00 pm. Info. (618)584-5000, ext. 347 Aries
9105 ' POLO eo Api 7,8,99.00 pm Albany Civic Theatre
UA Towne Yt Pim: Ladyhouse Blues April3-58:00p.m. Egg

Helen Frankenthaler (painter) April7
8:00 p.m. and 12:10 p.m

Film Series

Sculpture by Lipton

Nevelson In Process

The Shape of Things

CSR Gallery

Senior Exhibition April 5-24
gallery hrs. Sun-Fri 12:30-4:30

1-26 8:30 p.m.

| Remember the good old days of Hollywood?
The days before television? Back then on
Academy Awards «
four and a hall hours, but now, wil the adwunt nf
TV, the 400,000,000 viewers would be bored {i Push

fears, Si

awards behind closed di
Inieresting colegaries like
"Best Ant Dirvction.” Wha
some of the awards, such os "Bust Galle

Achievi

Here

Girl” or. of course, “Best Bost Br

diversion.

“The ones they didn't tell’you about."

by Mike Fried,

winony would

the Academy decided tv

nent by n Chief Electricia

Asa public serview, are

il Teaye tM micnw
Best Short Subjvet"

Thndvorined winery; See I you agrees Tad

Roman Polanski

ly CI

Bus! Ones

Best No Shaw of the Academy Awards

Most Fun Worst Movie

Bes! Cheopest Director = Robert Redford, who

happened 10 Chaylsky), Allered States

"Bust Script Starx

Hust Worst, Movie

Hest Busi Worst Special Effects

Soundirack

One

Flash Gordon B

Bi

Cocaine Disinbution = Murray the (lie)
{oy The Blues Brothers

Bes! Argunight = Ken Russell (Director) ond
p welsky (Wrller), Allered States

Ber! Pseudonym = Sidney Aarn (Poddy

Bost Sexual iniuendaina Tile

Most Eilinie Remark — °HI
ist." Ordinary People

uple — Robert DeNinw and daku
LaMotla, Raging Bul

ish Payell
Wes! Od C

Bet
Sylvester

Actor Whu Should

lin Trail

jute Is He Now? Avion — Michel J 1 With baseball season nearly upon us, it
Tw Cling Syndiome® Award — Jack Lem. [Would seem to be a good Idea to study up on
Fatt har Ne deelarectead nine; some “terms” used in the game. Below you

Hest Change in Rating — (le)

Batile Beyond the

1). Any Wall Disney movie (Gt PG)

Lifeiime Achievement Award

(ile) Jose

Ww Acuiluiny's Singer, Flash Gordon, Xanadu ni

Heston and Gi

at disnstur (up disastrous) miavies

The Big Red

I'm a likeable

trivia time

Dead But Isn't

by Vincent Aiello

Dressed to Kil (x. {Will find a definition of a baseball term and
We are looking for what the term Is, Good

(tie) Charlton |!uck!

1. A double play started by a third baseman.

2. A low, hard-hit line drive.

Wow! ese)

QUESTIONS ARE
IMPoss/BUE!

FOR NUMBER

WHAT DIP YOu PUT

CHEATS ON

FLOYD'S THE ONLY
ONE | KNOW WHO

EVAL Af TIONS,

8. A hitter who gets a hit when it Is badly

needed or in a crucial situation.

4, A batted ball that bounces into the stands.
5. A practice fly ball hit by a player or coach)
} | who throws the ball into the air and then hits
it

6. An involves several
players, coaches, and managers with one or
more umpires.

7. When a fielder caiches a hit fly ball
base, or tags a runner.

8, A plich that breaks in the wrongs direc-|

TEACHER,

argument that

gs a}

(ALWAYS GET STUCK ON

THESE MULTIPLE CHOICE
QUESTIONS. I'LL HAUE TO
RESORT TO THE [NFA BLE.

THE IDEA IS TO
ELIMINATE EVERYTHING
THAT You KNOW 1S
WRONG,

tion
9, When the runner starts with the pitch and]
the batter must bunt the ball, wherever it's
pitched, to protect the runner

10: A cheap home run, either over a fence

PROCESS OF EL{MINATION]
closer to home plate than is usual, ora wind:
ee blower fly that barely clears a fence
Bring your answers to CC 329 by 5 pm
Monday. All winners will receive a free per
om sonal, in the ASP.
re) 5 a Sy,
eee Eel ey
i = pope 47 Actor Jannings 10 Afternoon server wepB
i.
5 50 Spuntsh river 11 1620 scourren Rock'n'roll at the Rafte
bg re uy | 51 Records, for short 12 Adviser ncn mee Pee ae
1 by 52 Graduates 13 Ingenious ex Thursday: night
Hi Storage place 14 Relatives of the Win tickets by listening tc
ty uy Haking sense one airs} conten WCDB. Don't miss it
W Taly 47 Art product 22 Everlasting
7 18 Libraries and banks $9 Inprove {n 24 Incident
40 Wood sorrel ny rate 26 duck
its a picture up 28 f nt. port
a ar es for sul $0 FAN ue oP
wa te es Gy ah legislative
rype of cheese
25 Prefix for aren or 62 dobnny Mercer's Ne Mmm THe TET
ley Is graph subject SIS ms |clolalc
fe 21 IA asortty of —" ELE RIT els rime ety
4 Scala offering
(2 29 Roasting pin EWN Ste Mmo lo ols
er 1 withstands 1 Baby beds PMOL elit
anaie $ see eden CMTE ETE
cucko ic
i i ee SH
i Shuttles {9 Treptca) trutt ewictetuis it
7 Joplin pleces nt Of Province | PTA TMA s
T er B Pretix for cycle 53 Reverberate “ a n
Q Works with secret 56 Scottish tree Gan PIA ICTAL
ward Tortus elegiete Ls 45 fects massa 58 Chinese dynasty arid LA a se “4

nt, Viewpoint

ers

Editorial —

The other day, just minutes after the
news that President Reagan had indeed
been hit, a fellow siudeni ran up to me and
‘asked if it were true that he was dead. When
T answered in the negative her reaction was
One of disappointment

“Damnl" she said. Damn?! A man is
shot and her only expression is regret that
Hie lives

I realize that some, perhaps all, of the
callous remarks I've heard in the last
are not heartfelt ones. But just 10 say,
hope he dies,”

even in jest is abominably

t
inappropriate
Personally, 1 voted for Carter because
Anderson didn’t stand a chance, 1 don't
like Reagan's politics, and 1 didn't want
him to be president. But he iy min! As a
human being he deserves to live just
much as you or I
I'm nol suggesting we all fall 10 our ke
$ and offer fervent prayers 10 whatever deity

but to show

a little respect for a fellow
mat who knew thie risk he was tah

ing when he took the oath of offi
Come on! Ethought we were adults; ki

Bruce MeCurdy

__ Guns Don’t Kill__

To the Editor

T too watehid and waited 10 see the ou
come of Mondays tragic shooting of Pig
dent Reagan, 1 dont like the man oy 1
policies, but 1 could never wish Him dead

Ii seems though, that Tuesday's editoual
Went just a little overboard in ity peagtion i
the shooting, By calling for thy elimination
of handguns, you are nol removing the
means Of murder, just the meany of
delenye

1 feel the editorial overlooked a few int
portant facts, A criminal does not yet he
weapon legally now; if handguns dv

restricted from law-abiding citizens, tt will
Hot affect the criminal at all, AM the action
Will do iy give honest people cause for more
fea, How will they protect (iemsely es (rr
the criminal with the illeval gun when?
HOW!?

Yoo, theie
We can get siricier aly

is something we can do

Of existing laws and: cut down the black
market trade in ile
Saturday Night Spee

Don't penalize: the innocent, the

al puny and so calla
Is,

abiding citizens, Punish the tal criminal
thats where we have Lo start
— Douglas Woll

Sexism Lives

| To the Edit
The ever present reality of sexism in our

land hhas again materialized at SUNYA, Th
Political Science Department, under the
aultocracy of Dr. Magid, has deemed that in
the search for developing

B — Gepariment the definite possibility: exists

policy oriented

thal the erosslisting of three, and fun
‘of one Women’s Studies course will be
discontinued. Magid's highly questionable
reasoning is that {Wiese courses are
Hunsubstantial’ and “casmetic,’ As a
Political Science major and a feminist, 1
take this not only ay a personal, bul
political affront

‘As he feels that these courses are non:
policy and unsubstantial, 1 will take jt upon
myself to enlighten both Dr. Magid a
Department with an example of one of the
courses not funded for 1981-82: Women,

Politics and Power

Women, Politics and Power, (PPOS433,
WSS433) taught by Adjunct Professor Kri
Miceio, examines women's role within
American society, and identifies **sclected
contemporary ideologic Al posit a
redefinition of the power relationship
within society as the primary objecti
This course also studies several pu

Policy areas, such as the politics of w
telating 10 women, law, government. and
and laws and power structe
and the tamil

Violence;
Pertaining 0 martiage

SEITE

(nO SRRT

Should the department continue 10 ques.
tion how these topies relate to public policy,
1 again will enlighten you, Our state
assembly presently has many bills dealing
with the above mentioned, of which a few
are listed below:

1. A bill that will make sexual harrass-
Ment ai illegal act and which will provide
unemployment insurance for those women
Who musi leave their jobs oF continue to be
hharrassed, (ong lesson in clays dealt with
this issue and affirmative action.)

A bill that will protect displaced
homemakers in that it makes disctimination
in apprenticeship trainin,
iMlegal

programs based

A bill that will set up battered spou:

Centers Where women ean seek assistance
Hal (Hat will algo provide medical covers,
fy battered spouses and/or childien (thi

i an atea vovered in elas).

A bill that will create tay-incentives 4
employers who develop incare ehitd
veniers for women, with children, whe

As we all know and do learn in Introd
‘ry Political Seience courses, public policy
is law, and therefore how: the Politica
Science Depariment van gall this course
non-poliéy. nor to mention cosmetic. (i
Avon moving in?) ts beyond me

Twill now ask of Dr. Magid and th
Politi! Scienee Deparment to reconsider
thelr stance ant also ask of all SUNY A,
Judlents 0 make this institution more ef
clive in the tue seareli and wndeistanding

of public potiey

Nancy Ellen DeCarlo

Out of Space

To the Editor:

Ay Chait of the Campus Center Advisory
Board, the group responsible for the assign:
Nien! Of office space in the Campus Center,

1 would like 10 respond (0 several inde
curavies in Ms, Jodi A, DeVido's Leiter
he Editor Of Mareh 24, 1e: Campus Center
space for the SUNYA Gay and Lesbian

Alliance (GALA),

To beyin, Jam certain that no one on this
campus disputes the quality of service
GALA provides for the gay and lesbian
community, Yet 10 say (as slic alleges) that
¢ in the

they have been denied office sp
Campils Center as a fom of repayment iy
absurd Mi
reseateh Hier information, In the (en yeary
that GALA has existed there is no fecord of
them ever having applied for office space in
the Campus Center prior 10 last semester,

DeVido is in serious need to

and ay of yet,
DeVido's allegation that the third for

unacted upon request. Ms.
meeting rooms are “raroly, if ever used!
and suitable for GALA space, iy also inac
curate, In faci, last year's: statistics in:
dicaied that these rooms had over an cighty
pereent daily occupancy rale. And over
1900 meetings were held in (otal in those
third Moor because Ms.
DeVido is on the third floor of the Campus:
‘Of these rooms are fot

rooms, Just

Conler when some
being utilized iy not enough to base her
claim. Lastly, the corner space thal she
relers 10 a5 being emply in Room 346 iy
presently assigned to a student wroup whom
I'm gertain would nol appreciate having
thelr office spaced reassigned by arbitrary

In closing 1 would like to point out that
the SUNYA Gay and Lesbian Alliance will
be accorded the same deliberate considera
tion for offige space in the Campus Center

4s every other applicant — no more, no
loss, There iy no prejudice oF bias going on:
here. nor is anyone making # federal case
‘Ou Of this matter as My, DeVido sueuests,
While the Campus Center Advisory Board
welcomes a lobbying-cffort on behalr of
Hyon’ OF ils applicants for space, it doy
fequest that the information it receives be

ee = Brid Rothbaum

Chair Canipus Center Advisory Board

A Broken Promise

We need a field house,

The purpose of a university is not only to educate aca
Wellerounded development of iis sitidents, There fs a vertain aihletie dimension to that
development, and that i stifled wheneyou can't play basketball or get a good workout
because the gym is foo damn crowded, Forge! about vetting a racquetball court during
thé winter months unless you want 10 yet in tine before the sin comes up, Forget about
playing tennis oF running during ihe wintel

The present facility just dogs not suit thle needs oF ity student body of 15,000 plus, not
to mention the fueulty and community mentbels thar use il, Often, ih vers Hdieulous,

defeniically, but to provide for

Thai's why we want & field house

The original plans for SUNY A called for three yyitis, Right now, we ate stuck with
one — and that one is hatally capable of serving the suidents adequately, We have a
ud facility, but slot for 18,000 usc!

That's why we need a field hot

Ohay, maybe tere ane athe: SUNY seinble that wish they had avin fike ours. Buty
by the sane tohen, there ane snails stitutions wih tar superior favilines

Take, for esainple, Pardini) = cnyoliment approsimately 4,300. They have an
uuhievic compl Hor fst a Mesny'? Thal Naas anany more basketball courts than
Ours, an doo! track, mare aicquetlall anal tennis soutts Gaon, an fee rink, and th
Hist wes ane That's far at ychal watlh 4.$00 students, anil ye community much smattey
han Alba

Take, for esatiple, a ive-year schol will ai enssillinent one dutll oaey — Rooklind
County Community College that iis actiassiyeanletic eomnplesy Alony with taettitic
neatly comparable 1 Pordun’s jhiey een hold mudiy coneet ts there

We don't even have any phice on this campus that ean Hohl all iy student

Lis hand 10 belivwss shind Ayc) selects Mia aly se maniel) smallel than outs can Make We
Hook so-meaer, even Tn she neste sveuinl hier stage year sehnal inthe SUNY

That's why we alesersy a field ton

Werle not the only anes whe Lyell The Vidas conmitinity also tig a hein ot
Ulilelie tWeilitles, Mayor Counitiy ay esp 1 Sirigery (intetyst in esininalin
SUNY IA’ faviltiy, go the ery nny he he sul Hivws seme caste inti ti, Thus tte
Finaneinys WOUTUN?E Just cam pScTUsiV eh GH OE ait ne he state's poker

Whe mayor thinks a night evnriatly va Hy MH SpOHTs Metts, We ns even
inate tutes on tlie le

Wesidles, when they desivel SUNY Ay tlie Spawers tue gre! sail Hat sneha Tait
Woukl be ingles, Hue ines Hasen) delivesead ah thay yamisy

Thai's why we shouhl gor felt han

and ils creative magazine

Entablishod in 1016}

Managing Eaton

Mayas

Nows Editors
‘Ausoclale News Edilors
ASPecis Edo!

Joanne Weiner, Andiew Caroll
Doug Wall
sim oixon

Buranno Gurbor
ot Gollatiore
Mare Hay, Lanty Kab

Edijolal Pages Calor

Copy Editors Franks Gildt, Miichol A Grobe

sy Fenn Bion, Ray Coie Ken Cai
Hubott Konneth Biekey,

it Bruen Fox
James Jail, Debbi dus

Marlin Moskowite, usiness Manager
Janet Dilluss, Advertsing Manager

Bonnie Siovens
solos, Hod Bogor, Karen Sard
September Kieln
Hayden Carruth

Olliee Manager
Billing Accountants
Classified Manager
Composition Manager

i

ion Advertising Produetion Manager: Tammy Geiger Adver
Hi Kaplan, Mata Mendelsohn, Carolyn
Tiicia denon, Arlene Kaflowite, Judy B, Sano

alex) Dave Barton, Roy Loomis, Michael Sionard, Pe
Giacola, Michel

Sedgwick, Ollice Stal: Fobin Bainnson,

Dean Bete, Production Manages
‘Deb Reynolds, Onvid Thenhauser, Associate Production Managers

Elissa Bock
hy Typlats: Nancy Bornstein,
a Nolan, Cathie Ryan Shah

190 Manning, B

Photography, Si

Chia! Photogr

in, Steve Essen, Mike Fue, Mark Halen,

IPs Stall: One Asch. Bruce Bi 7, Kat Chat, Bherry Co
Mare Henschel Bll Kravss, Rosnne Aulavotl, Dive Mechvon, (oly Mattaboni, Sue Mindich Mark Nolet, Suna
teinbamp, Tony Tavsatoti Wil Yura

‘BoM

IIIS

‘Page Ten

- (Classified) _

i ie to compl

mapariment on busline
for fall semester ol nly, Call Carol
7.5239 of Carole, 7-7

Subletiers. Four bedroom apart:
i Primelocation, on busiin

Steve or Ira, 7-7823,

Overgeus, Jobe, = Summary

ound, Eur mer,

Fifoles s800.9 1200 month

aera alo Eze, Wile, 1
#8 BENYT, Corona Bol Mar, CA

Female(s) wanted to complete large
apartment on busline. Near stores,
‘Call 482-0783,

fe to. complete. 4: bedroom
apartment, $60 per month, Call Nell

Sublet $22)yhpereor Teor Ave,
4-bedrooms,, spacious
Feet busing Al uit

nd long, stamped, ‘el
Bend nvelgeen of otalls.
'SL-2, P.O. Bos 336, Centralla, WA

aa

Three. sabe iad Beautiful,
Modern furniahae apartment on
Dusline, Call Marcy, Beth, or Judy,

2 rooms available In spacious 4
bedroom apt, on busline, Very quiet
apartment, For Info call, 489.4277
alter 6 p.m.
7 female non-smoking apart:
mentmate wanted to completa a 4
bedroom, 2nd: floor. apartmant, 1
block off busiing, Fully. carpeted
and furnished, dishwasher, Rent In-
Gludes heat and hol water, Call
Amy, 78730,
Female needed to complete 3
bedroom apartment trem June to
December, . Furnished, busing,
Seorneni us Mihiiles! call Dele

Summer Subletters Wanted, Avold
the rush during final, 72 Hudson,
3 bedrooms, furnished, 7-7976,
Furnished room) for rent In 3
bedroom atte Ayallable {rom
$108.33month plus
ities: Clean, Gall, 484302,

Services

Anineaty International letter writing
campalon, MonsFrl 12:00 to 1:30, CK
857." Donate 8 minutes of your

Lost: 14k gold bracelet, Great sen-
timental value, If found, call Mary,
7.8797, Reward!

Cost: gold hoo}
onerhalt Inch:

earrings) one-and:
In. diameter, around

6:30) pum Friday, March 27th:
Women's locker room, gym, Pleaso
call Sally at 7-4643 or 4

Rides

Riders needed to Boston Sunday,
April'6, Call Katllyn, 7.5102,

Mexican blankets, jewelry, and art-
Work Imported. {rom Guadalajara.
Logs than half dept, store price, Cal
TA

qa4s2 (in each bo
rin told also. Conse!) Leo}

jerseys! blue of red
‘Groat for Intramural teams,
$5. Call Bruce, 7-804)

sud, and Riek,
uy and RK

W's been a Walkathon,
(roon Room, din:

dark beer In hor Patroon mdi
1 BOOK Ex:

Ime. say

ibany Stale Scrabble.
poo ae our name, I inoealed ‘in
1, 7-5008 0}

Fang Andy,
= Took Onan Shotgunsit
Cocal'vorel,

It you love my Grandmother's
breasts, you should chack oul her

1d luck tonight.
thighs, Good luck tonig on

Not only are you a great RA, but
u're a great person {0 talk to.
Gome up and visit more often

non top
P.S, Hang Tough.
To averyone who made my birthday
such a terrific and memorable one,
Thanx: You're all the. greatest,
{rlends and the best "puddles.
jendy

hon ‘81 St t 1,
Terel No words ean Geseribe what
we feel today. You're fantastic, En
Joy yourselves tonight, you deserve
q

Love, Sid and David

Pa for all those 7:90 a.m. bage}
ick ups, the trips to Nauillus and
Fisania! about the little red:hairad

Colonial Quadstock. Coming
Live Alr Band C

Don't Miss “Ple In The Faces” al
Telethon to Nar Zann ay Jim
Diamond (WCDB), Prof, Dobson,
Rob Grupman. (Ase), Dennis
Stevens, (rlant Dept), Sue. Gold
{eA} Bian, Levy (GA), ra Somach

Telethon ‘Bi presents: Honeybuns,
Group Therapy, 2 Men, SUNYA Por
Band, Jackson 4, 4 Quads, Grand:
ma Feinstein and the-Tone Deals,
Sugarand Spice, and Dean Brown's,
Jazz Band.

For gale: "Members Only” Jackets,
Call Dave, 7-894

simel| _____ 1974 Sebring Plus, Alr, 67,000 miles,
Typing lent) on: jus, ex: one owner. $1500 Mt 283-6002,
erienced Wat Reasonable, ac: Siereo Equi; 650
Suratg, fast service, Call Gon, urn
ae __ table, La Sway Speakers,
Al Repaired, Call Gary, fanasonic, RO-608, Cassatto Deck
4924335,
Typing: For feat, accurale qually Jeeps, Care) Trucke,avalabie
cali R ‘and A, 498-1647, ‘Price through government agencies,
feasonable, Pick up end. deliver sell for under $200. Gall
Saye this ad, 6024 48014, extension 6284 for
RAW RRGATEN your directory on
GAR, PROBLEMS? yourulreolary. on: Noy
ea pene Ca eee as
004, Di acne tion, a. Gall re
latent. owe, ‘Mkt 77806 doy,

"No Frille! Student Teacher Flights
Aaclebal Travel 621 Filth Avenue,
017. (212) 378-3532,

Pe rare GET NAAT
Workehop, Complete. professional
guitar repairs, Buy and. sell In:
Struments. Special 45 percent off
Schaller unas, For Bale, Sirad.o
Tin sal es

a
for 2, ey. By eal thereafter. Miles 1x 2
no appointment necessary, Univer
sity Photo Service, Campus Conter
905, Bob of Suna, 7:

yenaler ping Service. IBM
Seta lectrio. Typewrlt
Call 273-7218 ator 2:30 p.m. days or
wee

Wanted: Men a jen the ages of
35 or uate
photo pioeetl Ft will be In. the Nuc

ide
and ald. For more Ins
fein tion call, abot

Wi ‘coed _welphi

Faubtton® overnight camp, Nv.

jeneral, waterfront, A

c,_ Apply David Et.

tneatal me. Eldorado Place,
‘Weehawken, NiJ. 07087,

°

Wanted: 1 female sublettor for the
summer. Nice apartment near
buslife, cloge to,Prlce Chopper and
Iaundromat. Price negotiable
(utilittes ie la 436-7545
washiaye ati 4, A8k {or Deb,

nel Shi Se artment near busline,
Price Chopper, laundromat. Price,
of Included!)

Negotiable, (utilities
436-7545, a thi

Used TESA in uments for Pep
Band, Call Dave, ida

MoDoi impqumber
Marnoodod: Pay $60, 265)

Three Grateful Dead tickets wanted,
ler on M sel ses 2786.

parent Saat eter ton
SUNYA. 456-6734,

Fyone else fooled,
8 for everything.
Love you, Mark
Stiokhandlers. congratulate

Werewolves on a great game,

Lee,
‘You may havi
but not me,

ie Buffalo Board of Education te

reorult view Bi
opective candidates In. CC. 870,
Wed, April {rom 17 pum, The pre.
Bent sala gange le
$11,324829,810, The Bullalo Board
f Education is an Equal Opportunl-
ty Employe

Is Better in the Bahamas, Telethon
‘81 Door Prize Chanot jablo
throughout Telethon.

prevented! fn going (6 Terael hie

touring. Contact Den

Univeralt
Bob er Suna, 78067,

Dear Ronni,
Happy annivoreary baby. You have
made this the best year of my life.
You mean the world to me. | will
love you forever. Honest and truly.

~All my.love, Bruce

Evan and Liz,
= Thanks. for Your

fort and for
Caer iy. thanks for

ing in
Eat ‘me during my hectic

putting up wit!
year on

on.
Love always, Robin

Bid Jou have one? Thanks for the
terriffic weekend.

Tostev
We know how hard you've worked
this semester for tomorrow. Good
Nimes and celebration are at hand
rhe girls in 503
gaaeae ToT parest Telethon
talent: Thame. songs, meeting
poste! acts, long, nigh
Beslose. phonecalls, Holo's, ‘pop:
corn, cotfee, gum, smiles, frowns,
but mostly me and you! Tonight we
can be proud,
e Love, AER

Shoehornl!

> oo i a
iste April’3, 1981 =
; April 3, 1981 Ld Albany Student Press Fate Eleven,
Continued from page ten Ri Dear Stacey, Sia Hoyt
eathy aiid Linda Wa een etal Red Baroness, ian teat We've mine aa sa team, Thanks gebirg timber en i prises i}
L f s jor being there, wines the signin
Lotsa Luck, Nancy ainbow fecmcrin. more than the Sle Gate an You're gaiting so old sorta or With love, Lee an Lee Withem om March
Catan the Dancin Gorilla Tonight You are my rainbow. and time is, ct arena Deat Marla, th 1. f
at Telethon! ae Red's Baron, = yer Love; Dore Even though you are gone, you're To ev yon ‘working this weekend |
then 81 Tonio Gahgralvations gn ajob well done, ~ You Test er ACIS’ but you look eee asta Wnon: CRAcee te aii TRG eee |
He /24a4, you tinally made it night. You may ut you 10? chance to enjoy. Tha
a0 he major leagues, p hon ‘81 Tonight othe money willbe there, Moe Tite annioeTh ng thas, - BS. See, youre still getting per- ‘Sid and David |
Greg ET ove, Stu and Barry Te-ddy Bear anata fis a = Elucidate Profusely!
For Sale, Michio Fujita, aka, Fu), When | gave you my hnd | though ‘Shoshornit pet ale) Ott of your ty) nd Profound
Paper Trained, Any Offer. 434-4735, you woul id lift me ny, you ch Grand] Telethon Tai Frost sult got Got a ew extr ‘extra aM AR) ai th Sp dilated lgrat ares t
See eed Son Taha h Te flat on my face. Are'you surpris- Wet ry i Hore, 19 Joln the Sera ay |
Guses To And From Telethon Al Rirendehip togethers <I will sivaye “hive a Telethon ‘81 Is Here, ing Jy, 1.8008, oF Andy,

Night. At Back Of Campus Center.
itene,

aaah! OK-Bye..

e, Karen

PS. Have a really great birthday
lim really glad |'ve gotten to know.
you better this semester, Looking
forward to next year and wild times.

Seuly, very slowly, hm losing it!
ari

0%,
You'te top banana and beauiiful at,
the same time. Amazing!

Love ya tons,

Congratulations to Capt. Bob
Shtoyko and Sudden Death, Floor
Hockey Champions,

Mr. Weather

Dearest Siut,

Thank you dnd | hope you had 8

Wonderful 20ih
Love Always, A Sister slut me

Budd
Boos thls mean,no more Telethon
talk atthe "Back Barr?)

Mul

Kick Ass Tomorrow!
Love, Dara, Lauren, Jackie

Hey You Total Fox,
| love you and deserve you!
our Total Fox

Amien,
Next Weekend you get to be a little
pill forme, You might not get bal,

Wut I've got a stick for you, Let's go
Yanks.

Your Baby

“Glad you're here, I've missed ued
Love ya; Stacl

MA
Let's remember the good times In.

Boston, A fantasy in Beantown.
‘SW

Dear Janice
Thanks for being a terrific co. It's
baen 8 great year, get psyched to
emo

Love, Greg

Brown eyes,
Good luck at Telethon. | know you'll
do great, Just relax and remember.
1H bo with you In spilt; So go out
there and knock ‘em dead. | jus
Gant walt. (o Roar you sing. Til
always love you,

Your big dummy

Dear Steve,
You'll knock ‘em dead tonight.

Frank Sinatra better watch out
jood |uck

Ri
H love! you a lot. As much as last
‘week, If not more,

Peter

Daveandsid

Good luck thls weekend. Here's to.

Telethon '81 and the end of a great
year!

Gite year, two months of happiness
Let's make it last forever Hoveyou,
lady
Dave andsia,
Tonight's your night so enjoy it and
bo proud, Thanks for your support
and guidance all year and especial.
ly at the Hojo Marathon,
Love, Amy and Dorie

Soph,
Need | say more?!

The Making
from. Indlane tho Boy
Friday at 10:42 p.m.
Sue and Katrina,
Thanks so much for the cake and
making my birthday. special, It's
reat Having frends tke yout

3

My english fiendIND),
Hoy ‘what's going onl Anyw
since, OU coslan't think of wht v6
y, Il say It for you, You're a great
person, and havo a great day.

You know who (MQ)

While working together, our friend:

ship has grown and Nas become

special, Who else has a never.

en ing supply of gum and patience

todeal with my anxieties? Tonight's
‘Ur night'so be proud and enjoy.

Love, Dorie

{want to thank Mariou Formal Wear,
for donating a tuxedo to be worn at
Telethon '81 tonignt:

vid Yoke)

Cindy,
Have @ marvelous birthdayll We all
love you (bul of course We do)I!

Sulte 206

AT Night Buses To Telethon “81,
Catch ’em|

We're Out of Here,

Congratulations! We're real proud,

‘of you, Thanks for putting up with
u

Love, The Coaches

peuratic, gorgeous,
ann)

ent».

BRdeanaid

ei fF, don't
thin tie f° wih? be bering Walt al
tonight.

Marquis

King with
of time

Love, Okkle

youl Let's hi
‘emceeing.

Hoy Jon Barnett
you ove with
Pe dalont hairs Hunt shibeet

Tg The Most Beautiful REO Fan,
8 with the changes

TO All of Telethon"61 Staff,
Each one of you Is special, but
together mobody can beat you. |
Jove you all and am glad to call you
friends,

Stacey

Nymphette,
Mirrors, Waterbeds, Woodstock,

Rooms; 3 and 2

_Nymph
Hey Janice cy jerperson,
Happy 211 | love you toots!
Cove, Swingin’
~The Bo} ry Wi The Band
Toleth y at 10:42 p.m,
‘Okkyung,

Thank you for making Telethon ‘81
Casiey and more enjoyable. Well
knock ‘em dead at 2 a.m.

Love, Seth
++ I's Coming!
aint

er
Youre such  swootheart

Love, Sheri

re a budty, a pal, and a

You'
beautiful frond Happy Telethon!t
Luck and Love, Janice

Staff of anion 81,
Here's to a year of laughs, late
plants, endleaey meetings, (hats
jood friends." Enjoy
Yonioht, t's going to be eau)
Robin.

Munchkin,
Happy one week! I've never been,
happier!
Love, Mel!

ay, Be There
‘v0r.

jomit

iB Sunde
The |
Shi

hon 181 I
Tolathon ‘81 Is Ho
David and sid,
Thanks for all you have done for
Telethon and especially In helping
make our events successful, You
should be proud of your ac:
complishments of this year.
Love, Stacey

Wendy, Andy, Dorrie,
Thanks for being. My. secretaries,
waight watchers, “ranguillzers,!
and most of all, the dearest friends.
For once welll all be part of
something that will be enjoyed and
remembered together. Good luck
tonight and knock ‘em dead,

Love, Dor

Dorie and Amy,
Minally got my act togethe: 39° im
Proud to be part of & great 320

Love, Randi
Netesh
Let's open some windows}
Alphonse

od | bleed? To give you a frendehip
would be fo give you what ite el
fespect | have left. Whether you
Nt to Of Not, you chose to walk

alone. I'm sorry.
JAP

bel
Here it Is, your tong lost personal,

Aftr 12\years, | am at @ loss for,
Words, Thank you for always beln
there. it's all the memories | have o

us that makes you so special:
Love always, Frannie

To my favorite Telethon staff,
Here's to @ great weekend lopether.
Vil miss you and | love you all,
Randi B.
Win a trip tothe Bahamas, Telethon
181 Door Prize,

ted andy dareen thinge when you need yy |
ive alwaye.gol a lot of 45 iis |
}

‘special feeling for you. And when | 7
igox back on telethon, | will always You tonight at 12:37. We'l be Iyer wo Vou want itor. jut Colonial, Quad Board's Guadatock
think of you, reat as we have been yaar. whenever, | love you. js Coming, May 1!

Pore  Grangina} it ‘ your Love, Len Stew Fenl

n, ry
yy Tarpinian in) tux:
‘81 at 10:45 p.m.

Telethon 81 Tonightand Tomorrow. To A Non-Glass Pers:

8 a.m,8 p.m, CO Ballroom, Happy ginndey fo one dynamite
person, Youre, the bestest friend
anyone could ever have, Take the
World: because you deserve It
Forever Friends, A

Colonial Quadetack te Coming, May

Took out for the Shotguns!

Dear Maro;
hope you have a nifty time here at
Taethen and that we ost a chanea

Colontal Guadstock Coming Soon,

Live Air Band Contest, jave 80 much (ove between UB,

We
Remember that we have a beginn:

How Lemon
Lover

ther,
Ifyou ed Up to work the Nighti- He party out together tho. | love youl:
Day of Toleihon, please remember, Paycno, toe, Your Best Man Gobi We y Always, Tammi
Wwe need you Sorry about the present but I'll the Bahamas, Telethon
‘make it up to you, Have a great 2oth BH boners Chances will be on

Aa {, Our apartment is the best
act you've ever seen, Break a leg!
Love, Lisa, Rhonda and

Can we be on T.V, hour? ry
isi Birihday! You amaze

Colonial Guadstock Is Coming, May
i ale in the Campus Center
throughout Telethon,

D. Pre

birthday,
Love, “little bro”
P.S, Watch out for Rix,

Thero is an Albany Stato Scrabble

Pot a litle Su
your life at Telethon,

+ Permanent. cenlerg
averings and weeke

+ Low hauriy cost, Deal
time stale

Tor feview of
Supplementary materiay

MCAT-LSAT-GMAT
SAT-DAT-GRE - CPA

+ Complete TesT-n TAPE facities
Tass lessens and

+ Sima clauses taught by shied
‘OTHER COURSES AVAILABLE

GRE PSYCH & BIO * MAT * PCAT + OCAT + VAT © TOEFL
MSKP *.NMB * VOE* ECFMG * FLEX * NDB + NLE

Best ofluck tall those performing Happ
; me in many ways, The times so far
Tne We Ae eon David fave Seon great, here's. to. many
more; both topether and on our

jou're working the, + SanIaey of own, | love you

Hillel,
Good luck!! Who. Saye’ nice guys = folate RES Jorgetls We: ana See ya later, Bye, Sue |
fandy dear,

fever Win?! found a friend In you,
"Love is, above all, the gift. of

What else could! have asked for, Carol,
Eliseo Thanks (or wr egteame (Sialk1@ ongeolThagk ou for you. Happy |
— Birthday!
All my love, Karliyn

mo Saturday night and trying to

“Salhi Pretzels are the best!
Lisa Auerbach Walcoma to SUNYA
and Telethon '81 "hon!

Club ai king to. double
Gur momberetip. Cal sven of ue,
Jay, 7-506 or Andy, 485:6911,

GNG,
I'm 80 sorry, Jove. Please, Jol's start M
anew. | love you with all my heart, -
Rostiof [uck wnieweekend tothe on: For special trend, Enjoy your 20th

iymon lieve love
iy man ll ever Jo Kegs have. ther hapelest’

* Oppatunty 10 mate up missee

+ Volume nomealay maelals
ly uate Teach

fage ih

+ Spat cia and birthaay: And to my closest buddy Tesi 1

baila ady eR jove you 60. much, Thanks. for
Heat To my friends, ASEH everything!

A most sieae, nan you" 2 sen
those who shared my birihday wit
Teta one mL NERY) HEPA ll ean camer
night, You are the greatest people when wo first started this, whole:
and | love you! thing, Now the failures don't seem.
0 bad and our successes shine
‘von brightor, Thanks for also belng
a friend It's your day today,

‘Tho Stars Come Out At Telethon!
Bont miss Jonny. © The
Village People, The Spinner, Father.
Guldo, Kermit the Frog, Grease and,
feos Casts

iii

Mish
Thanks fo everyone who has helped
during the year to make Telethon

Albany Center
Love, David

163 Delwore Av 0, 0
p aru 1a success, {Ni Bimost here and 'm glad we can
KAPLAN © vin ion i and David Hamenaaae, Atonwvey, NON o a} sharo” chien tae ental
nis HAL CENTER, ow a — by : D rough al 18
Jest Prema Look OulFor The 7 Road, Thos Imperial Inn. other Sn compiainis, tm amazed Wate |
SPECIALISTS SINCE 1998, 800.229.1782 = Bpoghone easiye aueeane oar eguree” al frends. Keon pralending, we
76 Hudson, Ib sari babe an WeiyOu — don't want to disappoint Haan i
; Guo Dundum (Ef Oye you; Robin
Thank you for your unending pa: You are the PAE) ‘of my life, I'm =,

tlence and understanding, | love

Paul,
you alll Good Luck!! | guess I'll sea you on

lust wanted you to

fad our paths finaly met
q Love, Carla

YOUR RIGHT
TO KNOW

Ainy the thru-way.
female, know liwas thinking of you |
Happy 20th, old lady! You're not Elise
gotiln Side, you're just becoming
8 greater F. Haan f fi d
Love my roomie, me Happy Tolethon to a great co, an
Annie, Carmia, and Wenz,

e
Good luck 2-nite! Lot's knock ‘em a uene
dead with our Dancing Machine so

thoyil'want ue bnek wlacksons at
10:30!

ECKANKAR

i's

YOUR RIGHT TO KNOW

that Heaven Is RIGHT HERE NOWII!

Telethon Slat,
IV's been avterrific year! Luck, suc:
‘Gess and love always.
Lisa, Janice and Randy

Love, Renelope
Special Midnight Show:
tonight and Saturday only
Ladies and Gentlemen
“The Rolling Stones”

A complete Rolling Stones Concert
in spectacular quadrasound A+ |

= The Hellman Theater - Washington Ave, |

With subjects ranging from the
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SEND FOR YOUR COMPLIMENTARY COPY TODAY!

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start a tradition, . .

Fan
Wishitg @ wonderful weekend to a
fabulous friend,

woethearl and keep nding ihe dion
storn out Got a Tas of, Sugar and Spice,

Bruce loves yal “Telethon '81, 41:19 pum
David andisig Telethon 781, Singing, dancing,

all worked hard and tonight's
the Voulmination ‘ot our lorie
‘You've both been wonderful and we.
couldn't have done It without you.
Tonite’s gonna be fantastic,

All our love, Robin and Artie
B.S. Only zero ‘more days to

Telethon!

Ca Punch,

Happy 1 year and 1, month! When
Wwe going ‘riding?

j LY. M.

Vivand Renee,

Our love

ed In thi

Allan,
ci at ite hela, three tim
1190

98 and

30, Knot ead (Sain 4

aS, How abet, Nave a ahem
ve, Amy.

laughing, pleing, and much more.
‘Come check It out.

Secret Admirer, who are you? The
Sem/-formal ls only 2 weeks away,

Dear Telethon 8 Stall,
IWish all of you the beat of luck this
Weekend. You're. all great and |

thank you for a wondertul year,
Ail my love, Lisa

Telethon Staff,

been a great year. Telethon ‘81
Mtil Bethe Bost ilethonsevey gear
Haye fun and enjoy.

Greg
You cant shield your Heart trom
pain foreve i. | love you

Alot. Happy | bony
{need

8
PS. @ roadtrip.

‘Ww
He

Bt kind of
mya pine hue eee

: 8
continued on page eleven

ALBANY JEWISH COMMUNITY CENTER,
340 WHITEHALL ROAD, ALBANY
SS

q

SUSAN MERSON - Broadway Actress

in
“REFLECTION OF A CHINA DOLL” | ell
..A one act drama of a young woman
growing up Jewish In America.
SAT. APRIL 4, 8 P.M.

TICKETS ON SALE FOR BOTH EVENTS AT DOOR or call 438-6651
$3.75 students, $4.50 general admission. z i

gLennoeter

PRESENTS Jewe ers

RUTH RUBIN in Concert
folklorist; recording artist
presenting
“The Story of Yiddish Folksongs”
THURS. APRIL 9, 8 P.M,

15 percent discount on all

engagement and wedding

rings with your SUNY 1.D,
at Stuyvesant Plaza

LI

AVIATION MALL
(len Falla N.Y, 12801

‘SfuVVESNR PLAZA ROTTERDAM
‘Albany HYra2203—Sch/dy, N.Y, 12303

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Friday & Saturday April 3rd & 4th
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\ Univeraity Auxiliary Services Sponsored

WAS hc ureateny aan

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Spi gound® Marcial Garcia
a qyorn® DJ Mark
x DJ Azar

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Thursday, Friday (® Saturday
April 2.8 @4 7:00 ® 10:00
Stnday April 6 2:00

Lecture Center 18 LOOw/ax L5Ow/ut
funded by YOUR Mandatory student tax

Ballroom

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* ¥ ¥ » » Featurin

Admission discount with Telethon ’81 T-Shirt

ALL NIGHT BUS SERVICE: 1am - 7am
from back of Campus Center

Proceeds: Parkhurst Children’s Shelter & N.Y.

ecial Olympic-Area 10

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* FOOD, BEER (ID REQUIRED), T-SHIRTS FOR SALE

* Door prize winners announced Saturday night
Covered by all 3 major networks

Albany Student PressSPPONES Apri 3, 1981

Page Thirteen

Knight: Winning Makes Everything All Right?

This column was written by AP
Special Correspondent Will
Grimsley.

(AP) Days have passed since the
NCAA's controversial champion-
ship basketball game was played
under the shadow of the tragic
assasination attempt on the presi-
deni, and commentators have got
around (0 reviewing the game itself,

Net result: Indiana's Coach Bob-
by Knight is a hero.

“Knight's Dicium Upheld,’
reads one headline, referring to the
disefpline that carried the Hoosiers

“Superb teacher," says a critic.
Let teachers instil! young
Americans with the values of
teacher-coaches like Bobby
Knight,”’ adds another

NBC-TV named him, and not
Isiah Thomas, winner of the Most
Valuable Award, presented by a car
company. 1 was Bobby's brain and
Hot those two vital steals and 23
points by Isiah that tipped the scales
to an Indiana victory,

Thus Americans again shrug off
the banal vulgarities, bullying tac-
tics and informal brawls in canoniz~

19-and 20-year-olds,

He won. That was sufficient
within itself, After all, in the words
of the late Vince Lombardi,
‘winning isn't everything —it’s the
only thing.??

It is bizarre how we as a nation
ol only tolerate but even admire
and hail a person’s actions which,
inder any other circumstances,
Would be a source of derision.

“That's our boy, Bobby,”” they
say with a giggle, “What a card,"

“Ain't Il the truth? He's a win-
ner,"

Whenever you try to probe into
the inner soul of the Marine-
syndrome, spit-and-polish, tough-
guy personality of men such as
Knight — also General Patton,
Lombardi, Woody Hayes and, o a
lesser degree, George Steinbrenner
= you run into all sorts of con:
ficts

Knight's personality — as in the
ease of other renowned martinets —
tuns the broad gamut from the
icking, face
bully to an, off-stage
charmer with a seeming concern for

(o 63-50 victory over North ing one of the men entrusted with
Carolina the playtime keep of some of their

“Share a little love”
and earn 3 credits on the community ser-
vice program by volunteering at

DAUGHTERS OF SARAH Nursing home,
Lurich and transportation provided free.

Call Mrs. Siegel 456-7831 ext. 132

JSC-Hillels Free
University presents a

Passover Potpourri

Tues. April 7 Pesach and Politics:
Rabbi Harry Rothstein
7:30-8:30 Progressive Ideas In the Hagada

Thur, April 9 The Iberlan Hagada;Sfardic Customs
7:30 Dr. Herman Prins. Salomon

Tues, April 14 Conducting the Seder
Dr, Allan Lobowitz

8:00 Allan Lobowitz follows In the footsteps of
Leonard Bernstein-The storles and background
Lobowitz offers will add crescendos and innuendos
to anyone's seder.

Wed! April 22° Passovers Development and Obser-
vance In the Biblical Times Dr. Michael Dick
12:15pm (Dutch SunRise Coffeehouse)

For more info and Registration call Ann or Rebecca
at 463-3399 JSC Hille! SA Funded

Winning makes everything all {he impressionable human clay he is
right. ¢ommisioned 10 mold,

Job Experience ‘4- Cre

in the fields of; Education, Special Education,
library science, counseling and more...

For Further Info; Call Nan

Windmueller al 456-6010

between 10 and 12

or go to LC 3 & 4 April 6-10 between 10 & 4

PASSPORT
AND APPLICATION

PHOTOS

Every Tuesday from | to 3 p.m.
CC 305, no. appointment

Rae ecessalyy,
$5 for first 2; additional photos,

$1 for 2

OVERNITE SERVICE
Bob and Suna 7-8867

This schedule will remain the same for the rest of
the school year.

KKYPHOTO SERVICE

STATE UNIVERSITY OF NEW YORK AT ALBAN’

- WCDB

MM.

l,

Present our
Fourth Fantastic

oC NIGHT

Thursday April 9th 9 pm-3 am

+ Listen to91FMtowin +
* Cause its the only way in {

& UCB

®,
¢)
"ty

*

CLE PLERMAE RAL AL LL! EL ee

o_o

g ot M ,
hhh irda I UP FOR!

What really bugs us is that Bobby
Knight, two days after shoving a
Louisiana State fan against the wall
and dumping him in a plastic con-
talner, suddenly is pictured as some
kind of protector of mod trn virtues
and morals,

The Indiana coach makes no ef-
fort fo clean up his own act, It's sil-
ly for him to get incensed over a
fan's ribbing, It's indiscreet of him.
to, push human beings around,
$tand before a houseful of reproters
and scream the vilest profanities.

If he is truly a great character
builder, why shouldn't he build his
own? As the Bible says,
“Physician, heal thyself,’"

AMIA Champs

continued from back page
gave the BlueBalls a six point tead,
“Our team speed came through

1 defelise and denied their big
man the ball,! said Racy,
to Schmitz, who scored 14 pointy
and was one of the standout players
in League IV.

Super defense by Vehillics and
good weukside help'? was the
reason Raez gave for the shutdown
‘of Schmily

Despite the loss Schmitz had
Hothing bul praise for (he BlueBalls
and their captain, Ri hey
played tough and their two guards
(Racy and Keni ta) are very
quick. They played organized and
intelligently, 11 was the organization
thal won it for them," he said.

Field House

euntinued from front page

one,"?

University Gym contains @ main
gym (with three full basketball
courts), two auxiliary gyms
(Containing volleyball and) gyms
nastie 64) four racquetball
courts, four squash courts, a Weight
training room, a dance studio, a
swimming pool, and lockerrooms in
addition to physical education of-
fices, Studes cess Lo ny of
these, excep! when any one of
SUNYA\s 26 intercollegiate teams,
OF one of its four indoor Intramural
programs desires (0 use them,

“I would be nice,’ Ford said,
feferting (0 what he called the sad
state of affairs of the overcrowded

MBM MOM MMMM MMM MLL LEME EMF, 333, "Ko havea few more facllities

for 10,000 (undergraduate)
students,"”

‘O'Leary sald that he has con:
sidered othor alternatives (0 the
field house, which include artificial
turf installation on the existing
football field and the construction
of a protective dome over it, But
neither of these, he said, are sufti-
lent to sult the students! needs,

Both O'Leary and Corning
Strongly siressed that the proposal
jis just in the planning stage and that
much work has to be done before
anything concrete ts done,

“We've gol what many people
think is a darned good idea," Corn-
ing said optimistically,

But O'Leary maint his
reservations, “Probably, if it look=
ed promising,” he said, ‘1 might
pul together a committee on came
pus (to Look into it),

“10s a very long way from being
real, It seems to me that we nevd to
explore it,”

TELETHON IS ;
| WORTH STAYING |

AE SIS

we played a (ough man-to- .

ia Community Services Registration
April 6-10, 10:00am-4:00pm.

To help you plan <
a productive summer.

TheCW Post
— aa is

SA CATE. NIGHT

BUSES
on Friday and

Saturday nights

i ‘Summer learning is great at C.W, Post a full range of courses, out-
‘standing resident and guest faculty, flexible schedules, excellent
facilities on Long Island's most beautiful campus, only minutes
from New York Gity and {ine recreation areas,

| Leave Leave |

More than 1300 undergraduate and graduate courses,

3 Intensive Institutes and workshops, Festival of the Arts, n
li ! (workshops, master classes, performances) Campus Wellington
[: I Day and evening sessions begin May 11, June 22, July 27 12:30 1:00

at ! Weekend College classes begin June 19, 14, 20 or 21 1:30 2:00

2:30 3:00

Summer Sessions Office

TO GET YOUR COPY, phone (516) 299-2431 or mail coupon today.
LONG ISLAND tcenter

Cc Ww: post center ©
agaist Spoarnin/athoine Ache neuen

T cummor courses are
also available al,
Suffolk Branch Campus,
Brentwood, Lil

(616) 273-5112 |

I

| ‘| p
I
1

\CDTA will stop at all regular
Wellington stops

: roan eee aaa Please send me tne Summer 1961 Bulletin. ©
(914) 359-7200 :
4 bee yt Please Note: Due to a recent and costly in-
| Address — = cident of vandalism — alcoholic beverages
will not be allowed on the bus.

| ety sine 2p

fi “ATTENTION SENIORS
SENIOR CLASS MEMBERSHIP CARDS

Distribution will be held Tuesday 4/7, Wednesday 4/8 and
4 |] Thursday 4/9 from 2pm till 9pm in €>mpus Center room 355.

Please bring your SUNY ID or drivers license
These cards will be required in order to receive discounts
on Senior Week activities

NOTE: Only Seniors who have paid their dues from the
past FOUR semesters (including Spring, 1981) will be eligi-
ble for discounts.

SENIORS WHO WISH TO PAY BACK DUES WILL BE SUB
JECT TO THESE RATES:

FALL, 1979 Semester
SPRING, 1980 Semester
FALL, 1980 Semester
SPRING, 1981 Semester

$3.00
$3.00
$3.00
$3.00

ALL BACK DUES PAYMENTS ARE SUBJECT:
TO A ONE DOLLAR LATE FEE.

Senior T- USuirts may also be purchased.

=

; . = LET'S KEEP THE BUS RUNNING

q
i

Albany Student Press SPOTS sn 3, 1981

[Page Fifteen

Three Team Race Shaping Up In The AL East

(AP) The soap opera continues,
Will George and Reggie kiss and
make Up? Will big Dave bring
George success in his search for
another World championship?

The New York Yankees had the
best record in baseball during the
1980 regular season but they bomb-
ed in the playoffs against Kansas
City, and owner George Steinbren-
fier Went shopping. He went all the
way 0 San’ Diego for free agent
outfielder Dave Winfield, He didn't
fave {0 go quite as far for a field
mafiager to replace the popular
Dick Howser whose 103 victories
made him the second winningest
rookie skipper in baseball history,
only upstairs where Gene Michael
was biding his time as the Yankees
al manager
he season

Was somewhat
disappointing because we failed to
make ithe World Series,"
Michael,

says

Winfield takes his money bags to
Yankee Stadium's spaclous left
field with Reagi¢ Jackson, who bat-
ted .300 for the first time and tied,
for the American League fead with.
41 homers, in right, Fleet Jerry
Mumphrey, just acquired in a trade
with San Diego, is the man in the
middle, Oscar Gamble and Lou
Piniella will DH a lot,

A veteran infield will have Graig
Nettles at third, Bucky Dent at
short, Willle Randolph at second
and Bob Watson and Jason
Thompson splitting time at first.
Thomspon was acquired in the cap-
per of a three-team trade wh
fitst-baseman Jim Spencer from the
Yankees (0 Pitisburgh,

Cerone hiandles a pitehing staff that
includes Ron Guidry, Tommy John
and Rudy May, all fefi-handers, in
the starting rotation — the Yankees
are searching for a right-hander —

BURRITOS
MEXIBURGERS
CHILI DOGS
REFRIED BEANS,

DRIVE THRU OR EAT-IN

1246 Western Avenue
(Across from SUNYA)

438-5946

Open Dally: 10:30am to 11pm.

and a sensational bullpen hieaded by
4 fireballing Goose Gossage,

The Baltimore Orioles, says
Manager Earl Weaver, “had an
outstanding season in 1980, but 100
wins wasn't enough, So this year
we'll have to win 101 games, or
Whatever il takes to bring the
Eastern Division title back to
Baltimore,"

The Orioles séem solid
everywhere. The pitching staff in-
cludes (Hire Cy Young Award wine
ners - Jim Palmer, Mike Flanagan
and Steve Sione — and, Scoit
McGregor may soon be the best of
all, Tim Stoddard fs the bullpen
bulwark, ~

There's plenty of offense with
first baseman Eddie Murray, Ken.
Al Bumbry and Gary
third baseman Doug
es and alternate catcher Dan
Graham, Caicher Rick Dempscy,
shoristop Mark Belanger, second
baseman Rich Dauer and DeCinces
help make Baltimore baseball's best
defensive club

The Milwaukee Brewers, secking
4 Way {0 make Up 17 games, (hink
they found it in the big swap with

Louis in whieh the

King Biscut

New release!

tonight at 10pm
Kansas
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Sunday at 9pm

Boz Scaggs
on the

KKK KKK KKK KK KK
Spring ’81 edition of
the Q104 bumper sticker

Now Available! i

catcher Ted Simmons, ‘reliever
Rollie Fingers and starting pitcher
Pete Yuckovich,

"We were Instantly turned into a
contender," says Manager Buck
Rodgers,

Simmons joins a powerpacked
lineup Which includes first baseman.
Cecil, Cooper, shortstop Robin.
Yount, third baseman Roy Howell
and Don Money, outfielders Ben
Oglivie, Paul Molitor and Gorman
Thomas and DH Larry Hisle, 1
Vuckovich and fellow starters Mike
Caldwell/and Moose Hans can give
Fingers enough leads to protect,
baseball's all-time save king could
be Just what the doctor ordered.

The Boston Red Sox, on the
olfier hand, don't figure as con-
tenders without Carlton Fisk, Fred
Lynn and Rick Burleson, despite
new r Ralph Houk's rose
colored oplimisin,

Dennis Eckersley, Mike Torrez
and Frank Tanana, acquired from
California, all tind losing records a
Year ago, The Red Sox do haye a
fine bullpen featuring ‘Tom
Burunieler, Bob Stanley and Mark
Clear, And they have pi
outfielders Jim Rice, Dw

Flower hour

III

Don’t miss - Saturday April'4 8pm-4am:

ISUNYA PARTY NIGHT"! |

Bring this ad & your ID
& Receive:
!'!Free Party Hats
& Noisemakers!!
* & & First Draft 10¢ & & *&
!! $1 Off any sandwich 8-10 pm

Looking to meet someone new?

Come to the Pub Party. Our
official greeter will introduce you
to 'whomever interests you!

we Live Sing Along/Comedy Tunes
Great Sound System for Breaks
Koa Your Cassettes>We'll Play them

Where

EAGLE STREET PUB

on the Bus Line ~ near the Wellington stop
We're just 2 doors from the “Grinch”.

+42
Downtown

Albany

and you Rudi, first baseman Tony.
Perez, third baseman Carney
Lansford) and ageless Car!
Yasirzemski,

Now (hat second baseman Jerry.
Remy is over his knee problems,
Houk must find @ place for Dave
Stapleton, Jasi year's rookie sensa.
tion, Glenn Hoffman, last year’s
third baseman, is the new short.
stop, Gary Allerison figures as tie
catcher,

The Detroit Tigers scored more
runs than any team in baseball last
year but a team ERA of 4,25
sabotaged any hopes for a high
inish, ‘No team will ever win with
4,25 ERA,"” says Manager Sparky,
Anderson,

Since Mark Fidrych fs back in the
minors, the Tigers will rely on
starters Jack Morris, Dan
Schatzeder, Mill Wilcox and Dan

Pelry, who could be a big winner,
Aurelio Lopes is an in-and-out

Richie Hebner, shortstop
outfielders Al
Peters and DH's
Champ Summers and Jolin
Workenfuss, A healthy Kirk Gib-
son Would help. So would « com:
eback by second baseman Lou
Whitake
The Cleveland Indians are
hopeful of their best season. in
years, They have plenty of offense
i catcher Ron Hassey, first
basemen Mike Hargrove and
injury-plagued Andre Thornton,
third baseman Toby Harrah and
outfielders Joe Charboneau,
Migucl Dilone and Jorge Orta,
The Indians traded for Pitt-
sburgh’s Bert Blyleven, If he can
relurn 10 his old form, the starting
mound staff will be formidable with:
Len Barker, Rick Waits and John
Denny, The bullpen, though, may

Says have
never finished out of the cellar and
secm destined 10 make it five last-
place finishes in a row, Dave Stich.
or starting
pitchers and fitst baseman John
Mayberry, shoristop Alfredo Grifs
fin and ouifielders Otto Velez,
Lloyd: Moseby and Al Woods will
produce some runs, but not
enough:

Spring Sports
Tomorrow
Baseball 1:00
Tennis 1:00
Lacrosse 2:00

GO!

Franch Film Classics
Tho University at Albany

FORBIDDEN
GAMES

Director: Rene Clement

Winner of every majot film prize

Apr. 3&4
Fri, and Sat, 8:30 p.m.

Performing Arts Center
$2,008 $1.26 Btudent/Sr Citten

457-8606
April 3, 1981

‘AL East Preview

page 15

Batmen Look To Break With Losing Tradition

by Larry Kalin

Baseball isan integral part of spr-
ing and losing has been an integral
part of baseball at Albany State for
most of the last few years.

But this year could be different,

‘Things are beginning to fall into
place for the young Danes, Tremen-
dous hitting, as usual, balanced
with’ tight defense, excellent team
speed, and a solidifying pitching
staff all may help head coach Rick
Skeel and his assistant coaches Gus
Faddaul and Chuck Hutchinson br-
ing Winning baseball to Albany. But
there is another very important fac-
tor — this team has a winning at-
titude,

‘I'm trying to reverse drastically
What was a dead end street — there
was basically a country club at-
titude on the team," said Skeel,
“Bui the program has done a 180
degree swing, We're headed in the
right direction,"

“I'mvery high on this team," he
continued, “These kids — they're
Boing (0 win some this spring.’

This past fall the Danes finished
At 9:8, improving upon & dismal
12-19 mark In 1979-80, But there Is
an even greater difference than
Wonslost record, Six of this (eam's
eight losses in the fall were by a
single run, This team averayed 8.5
runs per game and batted .362 a5 a
inl And this team continued to
Impress by breaking with the losing.
{radition on more than one occa.
sion,

We beal an extremely strong
Westfield State team thal we don't
ever beal, and we beat Oneonta in
‘Oneonta which we haven't done in
along time," Skeel noted,

In addition, the team hay compll-
ed an 8:6 record in their version of
the Grapefruit League when they
traveled to Florida and then came
buck north where they have boon
serimmaging other local
Their success has the King
that they can win, according to

Skeel,

‘Florida gave them a shot of
confidence, They have a full head
of steam now," he said.

‘Strength up the middle has long
been considered by students of
baseball as the backbone of alwinn-
ing ballelub, If such is the case, then
Albany just may have a winner on:
‘their hands with @ unanimous all-

Skeel believes he has a top-notch
tandem at a shortstop and second
base in Junior Bob Tortorello, a
pro-ball candidate, and Francis
Rivera who complement each other
beautifully,

Those {Wo guys look like major
league players sometimes," Skee!
reflected,

Behind the plate Jerry Rosen, an

@ “hot corner”? is also Ii
up ae {is name with veterans Bob
Areario and Bruce Rowlands as
Well ax freshman Bob Conklin
engaged in what Skeel calls a
“dogfight for the third base spot.
Rowlands was all-SUNYAC last
Year after batting .390, but Arcario
has the edge with his powerful bat,

Rounding out the outfield, Ji

This year's version of the varsity baseball (eam may bring a winner {o Albany State, Featuring great hitting
and improved pitching, the Danes may breuk a long losing tradition, (Photo: Alan Calem)

SUNYAC cenlerfiolder, one of the
best double play combos around
‘and @ solid vatcher,

enor captain Matt Antalek Will
mos! likely patrol centerfield again.
for the Danes after batting at a 414
clip last year while providing solid
defense, Bul Stove Shackuer will
aive Antalek a run for the money
is yea, Keeping him on his toes,

able baliplayer in his own right, will
try (0 fill the shoes of the injured
Rich Cardillo, an all-SUNYAC
selection last year

Veleran slixucr Bobby Rhodes
and Low Capozsi, a sophomore
ransfer who started at Oneonta,
are still Involved in a head to head
fight over rights to the first base
job.

Lynch has a lock on leftfield and
Tom Verde, who has the strongest
Grm on (he (eam, owns rightficld,
Senior Tony Moschella will start
the season as the designated hitter
Other players who should si
Of action with the Danes! y
22-wame schedule, including seven
doubloheaders, will be utility in-
fielder Dour Sartain and freshman

alot

ucling

Tome eee anercicanl spel
anybody in the outfield at any given,
time,” according to Skeel

“The nine guys oul there are the
Soundest 1 can pul out there, and
the guys that back them up are
solid, too," he added.

Perhaps Albany's weakest link in
Pasi seasons has been pitching.
While not overpowering, this yea
version of the staff
markedly improved

Veleran Mike Esposito is the ace
of the staff with a 5-2 record so far
this Ron
Massaroni ts challenging him with
three Florida w a 21 fall

should be

year, but sophomore

sand
mark. Southpaw Ken Campbell i
third man up and Jim Vaughn and

Mike Gartman are even behind
him. “Both just smoke the ball,
Skeel noted.

“We don't have any overwhelm
ing piichers on our staff, but we
have five guys out there who are

moving the ball
he sald, "1 have
a {ol of confidence in those lop five
kuys. As long as they can keep it in
the ballpark and hold the other
team {0 cight runs we can win,??

The Danes compete
SUNYAC conference and are cur
renily in a second place tie with
Oneonta atier the fall season

“If we can yo 4-2 in six con:
ference games (all of which are at
homie) I think we can Hiold onto se-
cond place," Skeel satd, “But Bul
falo will come screaming into the
race, Nobody will be able {0 (ouch
Buffalo,"

The baimen open the regular
season tomorrow with a twinbill
gains! Plymouth State at one
o'elock. Then on the baseball ficld
behind Indian Quad on Monday,
Crosstown rival Siena rolls inal
3:30.

“1 Want (0 emphasize that this ts
4 good ballelub,"* Skee! said, *
We have a lo} of exciting players.

thinking and
around out the

in the

AMIA Intramural Hoop Champions Determined

by Phil Piynick

With Spring upon us, i's fitting
that Albany's winter intramural
Season came*to an end, Floor
Hockey’finished last weekend, and
this past week the curtain closed on
basketball,

Wednesday night there was quite
anupset in the League II champion-
ship game, The Untouchables, who
had lost to Nice-n-Easy twice this
Season, beat them when it counted,
in the title game, 47-46, The winn-
ing point was made by Preston
Hamilton on a foul shot with no
time remaining,

Keith Duckett Jed the first half
charge for Nice-n-Easy as they
grabbed @ 25-18 halftime adva
tage, but that was where the advan-
tage ended, Mike Gaines went on «

tear for the Untouchables, hitting
10 of 11 shots from the field in the
second half to help tie the game at

“Mike was hitting the whole
half," was the way Nice-n-Easy
Captain Duckett described the
‘isplay, "We played basket for
askel with them edrly in the second
‘al until we got cold, but Gaines
ust Kept hitting the shots,"

£W0 minutes to
» play Nice-n-
dasy had the ball and Stalled, antl
Pb atarbatastescy,

Coreen ee

they took a premature shot that
missed with 30 seconds to go. The
Untouchables took control, and at
the buzzer Nice-n-Easy. center
Kelvin Jones fouled Hamilton, who
hit the free throw for the victory.

Duckett blames overconfidence
‘on the part of his team for losing
the game, "We beat them twice in
the regular season and some of our
guys thought we had ii won before
the game even started,"" he said,

The League III title game was
held Tuesday night and it was the
Surgeons winning a hardfought
37-34 game over the Werewolves.
The Surgeons had a 20-9 haifti
lead thanks to the work of point
guard -Brian Ranney, who scored
eight points in the first half and set
up many other baskets,

‘The Surgeons were in command
despite the fact’ that their center
Ned Miller, hiad three fouls called on
him in the first 10 minutes,

The first two and a half minutes
of the game saw the Surgeons run
off four straight field goals and in-
crease their lead to 28-9, Ranney
had two of those buckets, one was
fan Andy Franklin layup and the
other a Mike Gartman hook. At
this point the Werewolves had been

» Panicking, saking Jong,outsisie shots

Well out of their range, and the
Surgeons were capitalizing on these
mistakes.

‘The next two and a half minutes
belonged to the Werewolves. They
straightened themselves out, played
scrappy defense, and cut the lead to
13 after Rich Doolan’s two jumpers.
and a one hander inside by Steve
Slater, Ned Miller hit a 5-footer
that got the lead back up to 15, but
the Werewolves kept on plugging.

They netted eight straight points
to cut the lead to seven with six and
a half minutes to play. Kevin
McDonough had iwo baskets in
that spurt, with Slater and Brian
Quinn getting the others, Ranney
and Rick Cornell each sank a foul
shot to run the lead to nine, but
Doolan’s drive knocked it back
down to seven

The Werewolves kept hustling
but Andy Franklin finished them
‘off by nailing four free throws
within a minute, the last two com-
ing with 1:30 remaining. That gave
the Surgeons an insurmountable
26-27 lead.

With 47 seconds left to play, the
‘Werewolves made one last charge,
Slater took a beautiful pass from
Doolan, hit a lay up and was fouled
He converted he free throw to
wee eh Hi IG alald

make it 36-30.

Desperation fouling was the next
order for the Wolves, It paid off as
Ranney made only one of two free
shots, and Drew Kaplan came down
Court and followed Slater's miss
with a layup to cut the lead (0 five.
The Wolves then fouled Gartman,
he missed twice, but the
Werewolves missed two oppor-
Wunities {0 score before Darlan hit a
jumper at the buzzer to end the
game,

“We never thought we were out
of it, We were even as far as re-
bounds went, but we missed a lot of
easy shots underneath," said
McDonough, the Werewolve cap-
tain. “The Werewolves were the
lggest team we played all year.
Credit Rick Cornell with getting a
lot of key rebounds, and of course
Brian Ranney played! just great,””
stated Franklin,

In the League 1V championship
game, the Blue Balls edged Conyen-
tional Onslaught 37-32.

Onslaught got out to an early 8-4
lead thanks to the hot shooting of
Tony Schmitz. They ran the lead to
12-6 with Kenny Andrusko and Tim
Wells each netting baskets on assists
from Schmitz,

3:35 remaining in the half ona John
Daley sho!. Mike Vehillies was o:
fire during that stretch with six in:
side points, Schmitz hit a 20 footer
{o give Onslaught the lead, but
Mike O'Hara tied it with two
freethrows

The half ended with the Blue
Balls holding a 20-18 lead on Mike
Racz’ drive,

The second half continued in the
same way as the first ended, with
€ach team trading points, Racz sank
Wo free throws, but John Pag-
gioni’s bomb cut the lead to two,

Schmitz then took over for
Onslaught. He hit three quick
baskets and Onslaught had a three
Point lead with just over 11 minutes
to play. The Blue Balls tied it at 27
with just over eight minutes remain-
ing, on a Daley layup of a Racz
miss,

Paggioni gave Onslaught their
last lead on two free throws, and
then the Blue Balls took over. Racz
tied the game 29-29 with a tur-
around jumper, and with 4:45 left
Vehilles hit a free throw that gave
the BlucBalls a lead they never
Telinquished. They finally iced the
Same with 1:10 remaining as Racz
Converted ona three point play that

The Blue Balle Fly thee witiit2 24. o-seduciiued ow Tpaaieahirreen

oor ily

(vor. LXVIII No. 16

State University of New York at Albany.

_UP

D194 by Albany Student Pre Corporniion

by Beth

A full year of fundraising efforts
and last weekend's 24-hour
Teletlion grossed $43,294 for the
Parkhurst Children's Shelter in
Schenectady and New York, Special
Olympics Area 10, This
Slightly execeds last years tolal of
$43,180.

Over 4,000 people crowded into

exer

the Campus Center ballroom bet
ween 8 pum, Friday’ and 10. p.m,
Saturday to witness over 120 acts
performed throughout the event

‘I was unbelievable," said
director of Parkhurst Dr, Thomas,
Tavantizis, “the level of eveitement
nd the level of energ

11 was quite a highlight for all oF
is. The kids are still wearing their

Telethon shirts,”” he added,
The Parkhurst Children's

Shelter
piaty home for abused and

eglected! children.

Lyn Polster,
id Publie Rela
with Tavantvis

Area 10 fundraisiny

ions Chair, agrecd!

“The outpouring of support for
Telethon and in tum for Special
Olympics was overwhelming

The mentally retarded individuals
of Area 10 will continue to develop
skills through sports, thanks

to Telethon *81,"" Polster sald

Special Olymipies’ goa! is 19 pro:
Vide all mentally handicapped ine
dividuals with the opportunity to,
participate in sports training and

athletic competition, Through these,

experiences, they van gain con
fidenve in themselves and. thei
abilities.

Telethon sponsors fundraising
events, organizes parties, and visity
the children of the revipient
organizations all yest

According 10 Telethon treasurer
Bary Brown, the dance marathon
aise $2,335, Afierioon at the
Bars raised $3,500, Battle of the
Bands raised $3,500 and the five

quads ritised $875

Many Telethon ‘81. staff
members commented on the over
Whelming support they jeveived last
weekend

“Telethon weekend is the one

time the students at SUNYA show
ihe Albany community that we are

part of them,’ said Telethon Co:

chair David Yokel, “This past
weekend we proved 10 everyone
that We are taking time 10 cares the

SUPPOL! Was Just phenomenal,
#4 did nol expect io make that
inuel nioney,"* Sad Yower. sr Was

2 Telethon

Telethon ’81 Raises $43,294

Children playing during Telethon's Saturday morning Child

Nothing was more beawijid Man seein the kids uvine a really wonderul lines?

(orally amazed at the financial supp
Port that people wave to Telethon,
especially in the last vouple of
hours."

For example, all
Almost $1,000 after
the first hour oF

As broupshe thy
lence viewed
Telewhon on all

thee local commercial stations,
said Brown, SUNYA'S tadio. sta
Hon, WEDB, also broadcast

segments of Telettion '81
Pie-throwings taised $1,000. The
Vitlay
With Fred Brewington that raised
donation by

People, including the dunce

$128 and the $95
members of the act, brought i
$740, Anothet popular act, the
Spinners, raised $400, said Co:

Treasurer Siuat Aliman.

Yokel also. cited many cumpity
Organiaitiony such ay the Albay
Student Press, WDB, S-cquad,
food co-op and the classes for thei
support for

continued show of

Telethon.

Approximately 300 students, iit
luding 20
weekend
id raffles; on

worked
beet

manauers,
selling

crew; as security; and on ollie com

“The people thar volunteered

Hiei Hine Made such a differencey,

especially the mangyets that worked

All luhit"* said Operations

clio NWney Zany 9
Valen Co-chair DONE Stanger

also commented on The nuinber 0
people performing during Telethon,
bier participation:
than ever before

Asis rcaleh

she sald

1) Pardes, also Operations co:
ulded thar the Educational

chit,
Communications Center (ECC)
slid Hig best job ihiey*s6 ever done,
on Telethon,’ and that Telethon,
BI way “the best run audio. and
vistial Telethon," ever held

Hon 10-a.ny. (9 2 pam, Saturday
Teletfion vonducied a children’s

hou with « Western theme during

which, the aety and games were
luiloned 10 the children’s interests
The Parkhurst and Special Olym
pics chilktven, ay well ay those of the

dniversity and
munity were all {nviled! to attend
Aliya year of work
nothing way more beautiful than’
seein the kids haying a really

Wwonderiultime,® said Childien’
Howl Co-chalt Robin Hirschman,
Her covchalt Artie Roberts

obseived that stil
"

Fred Brewington evel Mareen

Star, of ihe "Village People,”

SUNY Trustees Come from Varied Backgrounds

by Judie Eisenberg

The SUNY Central Building in
downtown Albany is an elaborate
concrete structure which looks as
official and pre-twentieth century
building containjn,
ic offices — right down

as. any
bureauer
to the marble-inlaid lobby

The boardroom located on the
however, is marked
ms which jut

topmost floor,

by, ultra-modern bes
unconventional
light-wood

out in angles,
covered “by grooved
paneling, The conference table in
the middle of the room is really
series of smaller tables pushed
together, made of the same light
wood as the panelling that gives
them an almost unfinished
pearance. Ceramic jugs
sculptures sit on the tables,

It is in this room tha! the SUNY
Board of Trustees meet once a
month to mandate university

and

policy, Through communications
they receive regularly al the two-day
meetings held here, and also when
not in Albany, they review and
coordinate the budgets as well as
manage the lands, buildings, equip-
ment and facilities of the 64 schools
in the SUNY system

They are also responsible for ap-
pointing the administrative head of

each campus, prescribing qualifica-
tions for students’ continued enroll:
ment and regulating curricula, They

fulfill these responsibilities without
receiving pay, although Secretary of
the University Martha Downey said
trustees: Fecelye compensation for
gosts incurred while carrying out
thein duties.

The Board of Trustees consists of
16 members, 15 of whom are ap-
pointed by the governor with the
advice and consent of the State
Senate, Their 10-year terms are

Staggered; two positions expire each
odd year, while one position expires
every even year, The
member, the Student Assembly of
the State University (SASU) Presi
dent, serves only one year, Sttidents
have been voting members of the
board since 1975.

‘According to Assistant Secretary

siateenthh

to the Governor for Education Irv
Friedman, pviential
judged on the degree of involve
ment in civic and business interests:

they've shown in the past, and on
ihe amount of time they have to
devote to the new position, The
governor also attempts to maint

equal representation of minorities,
as well as persons from varied
geographic locations, he said, but
trustees are “‘chosen mostly on the
basis of their interest in public
higher education, regardless of their
‘own educational background.’

Presently, only three of the 1$
Irustees appointed by the governor
have attended SUNY schools, and
only one of these three has attended
that school since it was incor
porated into the SUNY system:
Two trustees attended the Universi-
ly of Buffalo when it was privately
operated but, Briedman said,
became extremely involved in the

school’s operations when it later
joined the SUNY System.

Judith Davidson Moyers, a nine
year member of the board, claims
to be the first trustee to graduate
from a public college — the Univer-
sity of Texas."

However, her children do not at-
tend SUNY schools,

Moyers, who is married to New
York City TV. broadcaster Bill
Moyers (Bill Moyers Journal,
WPBS-TY), is not presently
employed, But she has been active

in many civic and community,
organizations in addition to being a,
SUNY Trustee,

The other trustees have also been
involved in various organizations,
although they vary widely in their,

interests and their range of ex-
périences:
Chairman of the Board Donald

Blinken is the Senior Vice President
and Chairman of the Executive
‘Committee of EM. Warburg, P
cus & Co,, Inc,, a New York City
brokerage firm, He has also served
on the boards of several corpora-

tions and cultural associations.
Vice Chairman James Warren, a
native of Albany, operates the
plumbing and heating contracting
firm founded by his father, Warren.
has been active in civic and frater-
‘nal organizations, and has received:
the "Man of Good Will” award
continued on page five