Albany Student Press, Volume Issue 13, 2001 May 4

PT eo at)

Top 10 of UAlbany Sports

Check out the 10 best
sports moments of the
2000-2001 year.

Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?

Read about the original
cowboys: Elvis, Zep-
pelin, U2, R.E.M. and

Pearl Jam.
Pages 18 & 19 Page 6
Albany
Student
Press

Issue 13 - Friday, May 4, 2001

Ken Kesey comes to campus

By ANDREW GENGER AND
BENJAMIN POLEN
Staff Writers

A sunny May Day was made
even merrier when “Chief”
Prankster Ken Kesey, author of
One_ Flew Over the Cuckoo’s
Nest, came to campus as a guest
of the New York State Writer’s
Institute. Kesey dropped in for
two sessions: an informal, after-
noon question and answer ses-
sion in the Recital Hall, and a
reading later in the evening,
downtown at Page Hall.

In the afternoon, Kesey
comes onstage wearing a tanger-
ine orange polo shirt and a white
beret. He is led in by Donald
Faulkner, Director of the Writer’s
Institute, and accompanied by his
editor, David Stanford. Faulkn-
er warms up Kesey before the
house lights go up and the audi-
ence gets a shot.

Kesey is in his late 60s and
by most accounts has lived a very
full life. He attended the Uni-

versity of Oregon on a football.

scholarship and was also a cham-
pionship wrestler, and he still has
a strong build. The audience
frequently asks rather poor, naive
questions, but Kesey takes these
as opportunities to expunge what
thoughts he has on his mind. He
is sometimes a bit forgetful and
hazy, but his demeanor is warm,
his voice genuine, and this is
enough.

“All
need is one
Galileo,’ Kesey
said, “If you’re
doing whats
right the people
who are natural-
ly your people
will be attracted
to it.” ~“Whea
asked him about
Jack Kerouac
and Hunter S.
Thompson,
Kesey replied,
“Kerouac’s con-
cern was far |
deeper than |
Hunter 8
Thompson’s.”
When he _ was

you

Photo by Brandon Spun

later asked
about Thompson’s writing,
Kesey quipped, “I had better
drugs!”

Kesey was followed out of
the PAC by a score of admirers,
who walked with him to his car.
Autograph seekers were able to
leave books with him and he
returned them, signed, at his sec-
ond public appearance later in the
day.

At the evening’s reading, 8
p.m. at Page Hall, Kesey, now
sporting a red beret, read a new
and moving short story, “Home-
town.” It was, he said, the first
time he had ever read the piece
aloud, and it felt like your grand-
pa reading a story. The story,
which deals with the dicey topic

of violent school shootings, has
coined a catchphrase of “Ban the
Bullet,’ a loophole around the
Second Amendment suggested
by Kesey’s granddaughter.

Kesey next introduced the
opening rhyme of One Flew Over
the Cuckoo’s Nest, explaining
how he came up with the title. He
edged over to the side of the
stage and enlisted volunteers to
show them the children’s hand
game and rhyme:

“One flew east,

One Flew West,

One Flew Over the Cuckoos
Nest”

Continued on page 2

Taking out the trash

By Tom WILK
Staff Writer

-the campus.

On Thursday, May 3, at the
Campus Clean Up, volunteers
came Out to pitch in and clean up
Just by walking
around, you could see the fruits
of their labor. Fresh flowers
have been planted in replacement
of weeds, bags of leaves have
collected, and sidewalks have
been swept.

“It’s a beautiful day to clean
up the campus,” said Bill Burns,
part of faculty LAN manage-
ment. Working since 9 a.m., the

clean up crews stopped at noon
for a break, and a free lunch sup-
plied by Chartwells.

Sherry DeCrosta, Assistant

Index

participating.

to the Vice President of Finance
and Business, coordinated the
event with Head Groundskeeper
Tim Reilly, Scott Richards, and
graduate student Bill Claydon.

- DeCrosta says that 450 people

came out for the event, which
was the most they have ever had
“It was a great
success,” she said. The event
was open to anyone, and many
students, faculty, Coca Cola staff;
and Chartwells staff helped out.
DeCrosta would like to thank
everyone who was involved and
she encourages everyone to come
out again next year.

Mark Somuah from RF Pur-
chase said that it was a positive
event and he had a good time

free food.

Tania Petrina and Callie
Knight-freshmen from Dutch
Quad- said, “cleaning up the
campus has benefited everyone
phan The weather was
good, The weather was
ne < well over ‘eighty
degrees.

This event also helps prepare
the campus for graduation later
this month. It is a positive event
on campus and anyone can get
involved. You may have even
seen some of your professors out
raking leaves. This event was an
excellent time to meet some of
the administration as well. You
could have planted flowers with
Paul Stec, one of the UA’s Vice

”

Saturday

Mostly Cloudy
High 59, Low 42

Tuesday

Partly Cloudy
High 74, Low 53

Sunday

Partly Cloudy
High 66, Low 46

Wednesday

Mostly Cloudy
High 70, Low 53

Six Day Forecast

Monday

Partly Cloudy
High 73, Low 53

Thursday

Cloudy
High 67, Low 52

ESTABLISHED 1916. PUBLISHED AT THE STATE

UNIVERSITY OF NEW YORK, UNIVERSITY AT ALBANY BY
THE ALBANY STUDENT PRESS CORPORATION

OC-3 line promises
Napster, less outages

By MIKE LEwis
Staff Writer

cleaning up the podium with peo- Presidents.

ple he knew. Don’t forget the —
Albany Schedule........... Panbene SCP TIO TOU ecscecccsnceneen kewvaie Ht
Blast From the ASP............. eee >. PIOTOSOGDOG .. .ncsccrdisnnsiveseicees 16
Classifieds............... aero x 17 Parody Pages.............. 12 &13
Concrete Blonde............. w:14 Top 10 of Sports.......... 18&19

The current T3 line that pro-
vides the Internet connection for
the University will be upgraded
this summer to an OC-3 line,
resulting in connection speeds
3.5 times greater than currently
available on campus. OC-3
boasts the ability to transfer 155
megabits (million bits) of data
per second ge
(mbps), a |
great increase
from the 45
megabits per f
second of aT3 |
line. OC-3
stands for
Optical Carri-
er 3, referring

to the three
layers of fiber-
optic

files, other people are very upset
that they couldn’t do their acade-
mic work because of the net-
work’s poor performance.”
Director of Academic Com-
puting Felix Wu has also scen
both sides of the picture. “There
are people that say, ‘you must let
Gnutella traffic through, don’t
ban it,’” said Wu, adding, “We
also get a lot of students that say,
‘I’m sitting here trying to do my
research project, it’s 9:00 and the

Photo by Jeremy Morrissey

UAlbany’s network will be updated this summer, making
cable on-campus computer usage less frustrating for students.

used.

Internet traffic at the Univer-
sity has reached all-time highs,
maxing out the T3 connection.
Internet outages, such as those
which occurred repeatedly this
April, have been the result. With
the capacity of the T3 line traffic

hitting 100 percent almost
around the clock, the upgrade is
necessary.

Until then, the department of
Data Communications has had to
implement “traffic shaping’—
the likely reason that Napster
isn’t quite working on our net-
work anymore.

Traffic shaping is the policy

‘of controlling how much of the

Internet connection is dedicated
to certain types of traffic. For
example, software controlling
the network currently allows

_ only 3 mbps of our 45 mbps

bandwidth for Napster.. That’s
under 7 percent. Unfortunately,
the result is much slower music
downloads. The other side of the
issue is, if there were no limit,
students might be unable to carry
out their academic online tasks,
due to too much traffic.

ResNet Director Marty

Manjak explained, “While some
people may be inconvenienced
by the fact that it takes them
longer to download their Napster

‘net’s not moving—you must fix
that for us.”

There are no _- specific
changes in traffic shaping policy
set for the new OC-3 connection.
Traffic shaping will continue to
be part of system management
though.

“We’re constantly monitor-
ing the line, not for content, but
for type of usage,” said Data
Communication Manager Don-
ald Gallerie. “We have to be able
to manage the network to contin-
ue the academic and research
mission of the University.”

Wu agrees such measures
will continue to be necessary. “If
you don’t do traffic shaping, ulti-
mately whatever pipe you bring
in will be used up.” He_ noted,
however, that such an increase in
bandwidth, will permit more
room for file-sharing applica-
tions.

The University at Albany
isn’t alone in its bandwidth woes.
Manjak received confirmation
from some prestigious regional
universities that they’re also
struggling with the bandwidth
issue, at a recent Northeastern
ResNet meeting.

Continued on page 3


i Friday, May 4, 2001 ALBANY STUDENT PRESS

News

Ranting Raver:

Fountain Day and
UAlbany’s identity crisis

By JUSTIN KEESEY
Staff Columnist

I felt something, for the first
time in three years on this cam-
pus, on Fountain Day. I felt for
the first time the spirit and iden-
tity of the students of UAlbany.
It is the first time I have seen an
event which brought the campus
together as a whole, even if it
was to get drunk on the podium
and dance naked in the fountain
(like a certain ASP writcr I
know).

Usually, this university has
no voice and feels extremely
fragmented. Many freshmen and
transfers cxpress a fecling of
being totally alone and on their
own, with no guidance and no
central body of students to speak
of. The university ends up being
made up of a collection of
anonymous students who break
into cliques and small student
organizations. Its true: someone
can die on this campus, and no
one even notices, except maybe
if its their roommate. The Stu-
dent Association (SA) could be
considered the center of student
activity, but the SA is so politi-
cized and fragmented by itself
that no one even bothers to turn

their eyes towards it. Therefore,
the center of student activity, the
“life” of our campus, is divided

How can we, the
students of the
university, show a
unified face to the
outside world when
we barely know

each other?

among the dozens of special
interest groups, such as WCDB,
EDMS, the Chinese Student
Association, and the like.

The problem with this is that
there is very little interaction
among these groups. People
stick to their own, and start
groups based on racial status,
sexual orientation, religion, and
hobbies. The factors that decide
who we hang out with and what
we do, when you think about it,
read like the antithesis of the
trailer on a job application: “Such
an such employer does not dis-
criminate based upon race, sex,
etc. ote. cte:... Stow Can “we, the
students of the university, show a
unified face to the outside world
when we barely know cach

other?

I am not saying we shouldn’t
have student groups, as they are
arguably our campus’ most valu-
able asset. What I am saying is
that there needs to be more things
that bring us together instead of
set us apart. More things that
give us an identity labeling us as
UAlbany students. People could
argue that events like Parkfest
serve the same purpose, but it
isn’t true. Anyone can come to
Parkfest, student and non-student
alike. Only certain genres of
music are represented, and it may
not appeal to everyone. It costs
money. Heck, everything costs
money.

What we need is to establish
ourselves as the student body of
UAlbany, to have more free, fun
events like Fountain Day, that
appeal to each and every stu-
dent. The beauty of events like
this is that they are unique to our
university; no one else even cares
about Fountain Day. Hopefully,
someone will take action to
bring students together in such a
way next year, and the years to
come. If not, then I'll patiently
wait until next year’s Fountain
Day to get out and see who my
fellow students are.

Sarcastic Socrates:

What I’ve

By GrecG C. HEVIA
Staff Writer

In a few short weeks I will
graduate. I have spent four years
and about $45,000 at this univer-
sity. In these four years, I have
laughed and cricd harder than |
had ever before in my life. I can
say that I Icarned quite a lot. The
large bulk of that Icarning did not
come from a professor or from a
classroom. Most of it just came
from life. It came from being on
my own without family around,
and) from having to make my
own decisions about things. Most
of all, it came from my friends.
The one place it did not come
from is this university.

Although I have had a cou-
ple of great teachers here, I can
honestly say that I did not get my
$45,000 worth here at UAlbany.
Never before have I Icarned to
distrust a system so passionately.
When I started here, I didn’t care
much about it. I was a freshman.
I liked to go out and have fun, not
care about classes. When I final-
ly started attending classes more
frequently, I realized that it was
the classes that didn’t care about
me, or anyone for that matter.

My advice, as a graduating
senior, is that people should
remember that they are a number
here, and nothing more. No one
cares about you if they wear a
suit and tie. This concrete prison
is nota place of learning. It is not
a university devoted to acade-
mics and the search for knowl-

learned at

edge. This is a place of business,
and their business is to make
money. The construction of new
buildings, the increase in enroll-
ment, and the money being
poured into sports is to do noth-
ing but increase profits for their
business.

A recent report stated that
many UAIibany students cannot
graduate in four years. I do not
find this strange. The best busi-
nessmen would keep the con-
sumer at a place of business for
as long as possible. I think that
the suits fail to hire enough facul-
ty because they are not interested
in education, they are interested
in making moncy. Faculty costs
money, but without faculty they
can keep students here longer.
Every extra year spent here is
another 12,000 dollars to help
build a brand new useless build-
ing or pump up an already over-
inflated sports program.

With the fancy buildings and
big-time sports, the university
can make itself look pretty in
order to attract more consumers.
When they get them, they will
get the faculty they need. It is the
student of the present who will
suffer for this greed. The students
here are not being taught proper-
ly because of the shortage.

Their education is being sac-
rificed for the unnecessities of
sports and attractive structures.
The buildings we have now could
do a great job as they are, if only
they had teachers to fill the
rooms in them.

It does not end there. UAS

UAlbany

posted huge profits of over $2
million. I do not think this is war-
ranted, and personally, I think
prices are too high. Again, the
student is made a consumer,
instead of a scholar, at this uni-
versity. However, few of them
question the high profits, or ram-
pant spending, of the university’s
administrators.

Even fewer question why the
university can spend all this
money on new buildings and

“sports instead of on teaching its

students, which is what a univer-
sity is supposted to do. I think
more people should question
these things, because the average
student is being taken for a ride.
Granted, this is a state school, so
the expectations for its overall
quality were not that high. I still
expected more than this. I
expected an education.

In the end, I got an educa-
tion, and it goes like this: your
friends are great people, and are
probably the only good thing that
will come out of your time at this
university. I also learned to keep
your wallet guarded, because
someone always wants what’s in
it,

Finally, I learned that you
are a name to those who count,
and a number to those who don’t,
so get out as fast as you can and
try to make things change for the
better for those who come here in
the future.

Central Council:

The worst
meeting ever

By Tom WILK
Staff Writer

I would like to extend hon-
orary accolades to any members
of Central Council who feel that
they have worked hard, and did
not receive a commendment at
the last CC meeting.

Separate bills, along with
separate debates, were for the
commendments of: Karen Eken-
stierna, Jeremy Beroza, and Tom
McGuire.

The meeting turned ugly,
though, when a bill was present-
ed for the impeachment of
Andrew Hartmann as Chair of
Internal Affairs. The bill was
apparently a joke, but it began to
move along as serious business
as a vote was taken, and even
Hartmann voted to have himself
removed. The bill eventually
failed after much debate and pet-
tiness. Jonathan Fass was so
appalled by this, he declared that
neither he, nor his Alumni Quad
constituents supported the above
acts.

“How does it feel?” asked
Jeremy Beroza to Hartmann.

Earlier in the meeting Brian
Levine reported that the Academ-
ic Affairs committee has been
able to bring C-SPAN2 to Uni-
versity Cable next fall. They
also extended library hours dur-
ing finals week. Joe Attonito
also asked if Brian Levine had
stripped down into his tightie-
whities and played twister.
Apparently, he had.

The Vice Chair elections
yielded a new vice chair surpris-
ingly. Dan Fingerman will be
the new Vice Chair of the Central
Council. Fingerman, _ self-
described as “fair,” defeated Joey
Favata, self-described as “dili-
gent,” for the position. Joey
Favata did take down a better
question list of names when both
candidates were asked to do so,
since that is what Vice Chair
does.

The Legislative report pro-
duced four bills. Bills #1, #2,
and #3 allowed members of SA,
who are not part of Central
Council to become voting mem-
bers of CC by attending three
consecutive meetings. These
bills all passed. The fourth bill
recommended that professors
send their book lists to Mary
Jane’s book store as soon as pos-
sible at the beginning of each
semester. This bill passed with
unanimous consent. It was said
that this bill was unpopular when
presented to UAS (University
Auxiliary Service), because it
would hurt UAS’s effort to “fun-
nel” money back to the Universi-
ty.

Mike Kozol reported that he
was trying to secure a line of
credit with the bank, but it was
difficult after negative publicity
about faulty expenditures in the
Times Union hurt SA’s credit
record.

Erin McCampbell, in rare
attendance, talked briefly about
an A-E rating system she devised
to delegated budgets that each
student group would receive.
Responsible and non-overspend-
ing groups got higher ratings,
and groups that broke national
laws got lower _ ratings.
McCampbell mentioned that one
group borrowed an SA van and
drove away from a gas station,
with the manager chasing them,
without paying for gas. This
group will receive a bad rating.
McCampbell also talked about
the hiring of a professional CPA
to monitor SA financial affairs
after Julia St. Amor-Glass leaves
her position as Director of Oper-
ations.

Parkfest is this Sunday with
$2 pints of beer. The Unity Jam
is this Tuesday at the Pepsi Arena
from 10-4.

This was the last business
meeting of the Central Council
for the semester. The budget
meeting will begin next Tuesday
and end on Wednesday.

Kesey on kampus

Continued from page I

Kesey then read his chil-
dren’s story, “Tricker the Squirrel
Meets Big Double the Bear.”
The performer in Kesey must
have gotten hold of him, because
he was acting as if reading to
kids, with great emotion. The
man has a great set of lungs, and
the crowd jumped when he did a
bear roar. Kesey understands
his audience, he said, “Writing
for a kid is like writing for a very
smart adult, you better get it right
the first time.”

He closed off the show with
something very moving....he
basically was talking about what
we should all do for the future.
We need to go back to the “old
eyeball to the eyeball” type form
of communication. Basically, we
all should level with one another

and get to whats really important,
“Tt doesn’t take drugs, but it sure
helps!”

Kesey hung out at Page Hall
for about an hour and a half after
the event was over, taking time to
sign books and speak to the fans
that patiently waited. He is a
man whose humanity really
shows. Kesey extolled the Inter-
net as a medium for keeping peo-
ple together and in touch with
one another and he relishes all
the email he gets through his
website, www.intrepidtrips.com,
which also offers a video of his
famous cross country road trip.

Finally, Kesey’s words of
wisdom for young people:
“Keep playing, keep clean—
don’t build up too much sweat in
the crotch or armpits and deal
with what you can. Keep shoot-
ing for the stars.”


or CF SNS Wi my CD

ee oe on

om. + bead —= 6s

News

Friday, May 4, 2001 ALBANY STUDENT PRESS

3

Lark Street record shop gutted in blaze

By JUSTIN KEESEY
Staff Writer

During the night of April 12,
Albany lost a piece of its culture.
Audio Underground, a record
shop on Lark Street that special-
izes in various genres of electron-
ica, was destroyed by a fire that
occurred around 2a.m.

While no one was injured,
the shop was totally destroyed,
and the owner’s cat and kittens

were killed in the blaze. The
owner, Damian Galvin, also
known as DJ Dames, had no
insurance against the losses.

The Albany Police
Department is still investigating
the cause of the fire. Audio
Underground was widely consid-
ered the center of Albany’s club
and rave scene, a popular hang-
out for promoters and DJ’s to
promote raves, purchase records,
and network with each other.

“T think it’s a tragedy that

Audio Underground has burnt

“T think it’s a
tragedy that Audio
Underground has
burnt down, and I
really hope that it

doesn’t kill the

Albany scene.”

down, and I really hope that it

doesn’t kill the Albany scene,”
said Mike Krufky, president of
UAlbany’s Electronic Dance
Music Society. |

The fire has brought
together Albany’s clubbers and
ravers in an effort to raise funds
for the store’s owner. An event
that took place at Mother Earth’s
Cafe on May | was to raise
money for Mr. Galvin, as well as
events at Valentines on May 3
and Sneaky Pete’s on May 20.
Student Steve Reding, a promot-

er and DJ for EDMS and WCDB
90.9FM, will be fund-raising at
his event, Spank, on May 5. Said
longtime Albany jungle DJ
Milkdud, “Hopefully it will help
bring people together rather than
fragment the scene further.”

Mary Francis Berry
visits UAlbany

By SUZANNE LEONE
Staff Writer

Dr. Mary Frances Berry vis-
ited UAlbany on Wednesday,
May 2. Dr. Berry is a Geraldine
R. Segal Professor of American
Social Thought at the University
of Pennsylvania where she teach-
es history and law. In 1993 and
1999, President Clinton appoint-
ed and reappointed her the chair
of the Civil Rights Commission.
She is an internationally known
historian, advocate, and author of
such works as The Black
Experience in America and The
Politics of Parenthood: childcare,
Women’s Rights and the Myth of
the Good Mother. Dr. Berry was
also the very first woman to be
appointed head of a research uni-
versity.

Berry was named Chancellor
of the University of Colorado at
Boulder and was also the founder
of the Free South Africa

Movement, which rallied the

government to review its policy
on South Africa, helping to dis-
tinguish apartheid.

The Campus Center’s
Assembly Hall played host to her
presentation titled, “Race,
Gender: The Enduring Paradox.”
The Institute for Research on
Women sponsored the occasion.
Berry spoke both seriously and
candidly of the state of the
American government. When
referring to female and minority
empowerment, she stated, “We
should use government to enforce
equal treatment.” Although she
admitted, “The reality of using

government to gain empower-
ment is under stress that has been
mounting for years.” After vot-
ing rights were considered inclu-
sive, women and people of color
still faced limitations on their
choice and access to the polls.
Berry also referred to the 2000
election as, “Expanding injustice
in picking the president.” She
and the Civil Rights Commission
are holding an investigation into
the matter.

Dr. Berry touched on sub-
jects ranging from energy conser-
vation to majority power.
Regarding to the methods
Americans use to conserve ener-
gy, Berry believes, “Americans
think we have a God-given right
to consume.” She asked the
audience in attendance the last
time anyone could remember of
campaign for conservation, and
she was not surprised no one
raised his or her hand. Minorities
are increasing in number, and in
years to come the minorities may
no longer be as such. In light of
this, Berry offered a her thought
on the situation, “Numbers don’t
translate into power though, think
about South Africa.”

For young women who want
to follow in her footsteps, she
offered sound advice. Education
is the key-no one has the ability
to take away your knowledge. In
closing, Dr. Berry reminded those
in attendance that making radical
changes in how we live is not,
“just for ourselves but for genera-
tions to come.”

The ASP would like to say
goodbye to and thank all
of our graduating seniors:

Jeremy Morrissey,
Mike Kiernan, Cary

DeBenedictis, Benjamin
Polen, Kelly Becker and
Kimberly Gambino.

We will miss you!!

Better connection promised

Continued from page 1

“T think it’s a very common
problem. The policy issues that
are associated with the available
bandwidth are very common
throughout higher education right
now,” said Manjak.

While the addition of a sec-
ond OC-3 line isn’t presently
affordable, this summer’s OC-3
upgrade is becoming increasingly
practical, based on changing sub-
sidation and_ prices, from

NYSERNet — the organization
that promotes educational tech-
nology in New York and subsi-
dizes part of our Internet costs.

T3 for next [academic] year
would have cost the University
about $170,000, compared to the
current $120,000, according to
the office of the Vice President of
Academic Affairs. OC3 next year
should cost $265,000 ($150,000
more than current costs).

So, instead of spending
$50,000 more next year for T3,

the University is spending
$150,000 more for OC3.
Therefore the University’s spend-
ing about $100,000 more for
OC3 than it would for T3 next
year—$265,000, instead of
$170,000, a much lower estimate
than previously expected, due to
market changes.

All figures are subject to
change but the decision has been
made, and OC-3 will be in place
next semester.

Background on
building a campus

By JOELLE ROSEN
Staff Writer

UAlbany’s uptown campus
was a golf course until architect
Edward Durrell Stone brought his
vision and an army of bulldozers
to build the campus under the
direction of Governor Nelson
Rockefeller.

Stone had bulldozers level
everything in their paths during
the 1960’s, said University
Archivist Geoffrey P. Williams.
Normally a campus of this size
would have taken decades to
assemble, but classrooms opened
less than a decade later.

As you approach the campus
from the breathtaking Collins
Circle entrance and hobble along
the cobblestones to the steps,
pause there for a moment and
gaze at most of the Academic
Podium. The cold, dirty, gray
campus that students see was, in
Stone’s eyes, an architectural
masterpiece to be marveled upon
for the ages. Stone felt the new
construction of the campus would
help beautify America. That’s
how strongly he felt about the
beauty of the campus. Concrete
was used because it is cheap. The
end result was architecture that
many students describe as boring.

Unfortunately, despite the
thrift of concrete, the building
went over budget and corners had
to be cut. The planters on the
campus were originally designed
to hold trees that would have cut
down on the wind, but they were
never planted. Stone was also
opposed to large signs on the
buildings because he thought
they would distract from the
architecture.

There are also many aspects
of the school that most of the stu-
dent body is probably unaware
of: There were bowling lanes in
the campus center until the addi-
tion was built. They were located
where the registrar is now. The
oversized bell tower located in
the fountain is not only a bell

This campus also was
never intended to be
located in Arizona or
elsewhere. It was
always intended for
Albany.

tower but an emergency water
supply tower. The bells were
added long after construction as a
gift from the alumni.

When Stone designed the
campus he structured it so there
was no parking near the podium.
There used to be grass, trees, and
wild turkeys where Dutch and
Colonial quad parking lots are
now. This campus also was never
intended to be located in Arizona
or elsewhere. It was always
intended for Albany. Students
who call this campus home for
the four years of their college

_careers do not always see the

campus as beautiful.

“T feel that this school’s cam-
pus is depressing. This year I
have visited many more schools
and when I get back here I just
feel it is definitely below other
campuses,” said freshman Eric
Fox. |

Many students echoed Fox’s
statements with desire for more
on-campus flavor. “I believe that
there should be colorful banners
on the podium. A little cheer

would be nice, not so much drab
gray,” said sophomore Stephanie
Leone.

All of the students here have
an opinion about the campus and
many have ideas about how to
improve it. “Drop a bomb on the
whole thing, and then make it
look like a real school, instead of
Attica Prison,” said sophomore
Robert Beisler. “They should
repaint the rooms and get rid of
the asbestos on our ceilings.
Dutch quad is too dreary; they
should chop down some trees to
give us some more natural light,”
said sophomore John Cupolo.

There are students here that
actually like some aspects of the
school though. “I really like the
way this campus looks, it was
actually one of the reasons I came
here,” said sophomore Chris
Augustine. “I wish that the build-
ings were better marked though;
everything looks the same, it’s
easy to get lost,” he said. “I
appreciate how the closeness of
the structures provides us .with
shelter in the winter. But because
of that we sacrifice beauty. I wish
the whole school could look more
like the new library,” said sopho-
more Suzanne Leone.

We may have lucked out in
getting a drab gray, concrete
school. There was talk when the
school was built about making
colored concrete. “Each building
being a different pastel color
might have been worse than
gray,” Augustine said. Students
at SUNY Albany may hate the
campus, or even sort of like it, but
they did decide to come here,
drab concrete and all.

4 Friday, May 4, 2001 ALBANY STUDENT PRESS

News

Water, water everywhere

By Tony GRAY
Associate News Editor

The recent flirtation with 90
degree temperatures has been a
little more bearable since Univer-
sity workers have fixed many of
the previously broken water
fountains on campus. Almost 85
percent of all drinking fountains
now work, a dramatic improve-
ment from the situation that

existed only three months ago.
Our initial inspection was con-
ducted over the winter break and

Photo by Jeremy Morrissey
Up from 40 percent, 85 percent of
campus water fountains now work.

re-checked in the wecks prior to
our published report

In February, we reported that
4(Q) percent of water fountains on
the academic podium didn’t pro-
duce water after an investigation
revealed that only 41 out of the
68 fountains that we found dis-
pensed water.

If students could drink water
without having to directly con-
tact the spout, we considered the
fountain to be operable. Univer-
sity officials were as surprised at
our findings as we were and
promised to take prompt correc-
tive action. We were concerned
about the inability to drink from
many of the campus fountains for
two important reasons.

Research shows that getting
enough water to drink is crucial
to human health; even a slight
lack of water can sap energy and
make a person lethargic. The rea-
son that’s important is the report-
ed link between mild dehydra-
tion (as little as a 2 percent drop
in body water) and fuzzy short-
term memory, trouble with basic
math, and difficulty focusing on
printed data. Water also per-

forms necesary functions like
regulating body  tempcrature,

cushioning joints, and removing
wastes. 2

Our other concern was the
coincidence of so many inopera-
tive water fountains and the
stagerring sums of royalties and
commissions received by the
UAS from Coca-Cola. Only
weeks prior to our report, we
received a censored copy of the
contract, which gives Coca-Cola
an exclusive ten-year contract for
beverage sales at the University
at Albany, under New York’s
Freedom of Information Law.

We learned that the secret
deal provided a financial wind-
fall for the University, which
received upfront royalties of
approximately $400,000 and
earns annual base commissions
that generate an _ additional
$500,000 per year. Any correla-
tion would have constituted star-
tling evidence of a college will-
ing to trade student well-being
for cash.

Hours before our February
16 issue hit the stands, Assistant
Physical Plant Director Scott
Richards told the ASP strong
directions had been issued to the
shops responsible for the mainte-
nance of the fountains.

Richards said the fountains
would be promptly fixed after a
thorough campus inspection was
conducted and the proper solu-
tion was determined.

We contacted Richards
again, on March 28 to find out
why no action had been taken,
despite his earlier assurances. We
were told that the problem was
more involved and time-consum-
ing than initially expected.

“A considerable amount of
funding and materials were
involved, but we finally got it
together,” said Richards who
added that water fountains had
been placed on the academic ser-
vices inspection list to ensure
that this doesn’t become a prob-
lem again.

Work on the fountains was
expected to be completed within
a month of our conversation, said
Richards.

An inspection over the last
weck has found that considerable
progress has been made, with
almost all fountains now work-
ing, and the remainder to be fin-
ished soon,

The ASP would like to thank
the shop workers who performed
the repairs in an expeditious
manner.

2001 -
LEGAL INTERNSHIPS

CRIMINAL LAW
LANDLORD / TENANT

Applications are available from
Student Legal Services
of the Student Association

CC116 442-5654

2002

ECL down for rest of semester

By JENNIFER BOSKE
Contributing Writer

The Educational Computing
Lab (ECL), used by the comput-
er science departments for cours-
es CSI 201 and CSI 310, has
been closed indefinately, due to
an unknown party’s gaining
unauthorized access to the sys-
tem on April 17, 2001.

Professor Seth Chaiken from
the computer science department
explained the system was
accessed by a cracker who
exploited a Unix vulnerability to
gain administrator rights.

Crackers differ from hackers
in the eyes of some _ workers in
the computer science field.
Hackers are usually considered
benign intruders, exposing weak-
nesses in the rare instances where
they make their presence known.
Some view hacking as no more
than an extension of debugging,
which is a necesary step in the
software development life cycle.

Crackers, on the other hand,
often delight in childish or
destructive pranks to demon-
strate their alleged superiority.
Crackers are responsible for
many of the annoying — viruses
(such as Melissa) which have
gained widespread media atten-
tion, because of their potential
for destroying files and crashing

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The cracker fooled
the computer science
department’s safeguards
by installing a root tip,
which allowed the user
to gain a base for addi-
tional internet exploits
by impersonating an
authorized system user.

Unusually fixing

Photo by Jeremy Morrissey

Unauthorized access to the computer system
has caused the shut-down of the ECL.

this at the University

would happen more quickly, but
the System Administrator that
would be responsible for repairs
resigned recently.

No replacement has been
hired since it takes time to sift
through applicants to find a qual-
ified person to fill the postion,
due to the extensive skill sets
required to perform the job. The
position is expected to be filled
by the beginning of the fall
semester.

Since it is still unknown
whether the system will be up by
the start of summer classes, it is
still unknown whether those
classes will be using the common
University system (eve), or if
another alternative will be nece-
sary. But Professor Chaiken said
the ECL should be in full work-
ing order for the fall 2001 school
year, with “more elaborate, more
capable tracking.”

So far, there are no leads to
help identify the cracker. Holes

exist in the log because the
intruder erased the logs for the
time(s) of intrusion. There are
many reasons why people try to
crack into University systems.
One is that they have a high
bandwith. They may have lower
security, in order to allow stu-
dents still learning basic skills the
ability to try new things.

The students in CSI 20]
must turn in the remainder of the
programing assignments’ on
paper, and review sessions will
be held in the ECL during stu-
dents scheduled lab times. Pro-
fessor Haas, the professor for
CSI 310, has given students full
credit for the last two program-
ming assignments, which were
affected by the system attack.

TA William Platnick said,
“The ECL crack is, of'course, an
obvious set back and increases
the amount of work the Profes-
sors and TAs have to do, but at
least nobody’s grades are affect-
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P.O. Box 3050, Utica, N.Y. 13504-3050


Friday, May 4, 2001 ALBANY STUDENT PRESS 5

ast irom the ASP

s to take position at Howard Swvcerr

Continued from front page

1A

Another project of bis-the

Plas Rite ERP PCS sity Administration and Acting
eee eee ay eis Bean af Law School, A foil pro-
“slectranic library” -will comi-
ioe menee ston, he said, “We hope fessor at Temple Law, he was
y H. Patrick Sw yee to break ground soun,” he said alsa.a visiting professor at the
on this “brary of the future.” University of Ghana in Ghana,
“| think this is a pret ‘oppor: West aie and the Univerity of
= tunity for hin, Student A Sach> del oad
. alin President Alexandra Rlsin
: gait. “| believe he's mude 2 lot Floretta Dakes-MeKenzie.
e of valuable contributions t@ this yice chairman of Howard
Asin | University.” scat University Board of Trustees,
| story in “1965. dr rece 9 Referring te recent Crises such said Swygert’s 8 experience at a
$4 is ID. cum a He fFiswenl s the bors xr Call & incident, ine state funded university was part
: * ons ae to my ‘a or x 2 sky or gs a af the selection process. She told
BE ay ps d ta return to we WRC SRS WETS etd, , : gating oe Lp ee WET»
/ ime ma ‘ygert said of wounded, and student praicsts the Times Union : steward
E ‘simply that the over Campus security and Teerves a good deal of its fund-
: move was “a decision that my “numerous controvertial speak- Mig from the Congress. his expe-
family and Lhave made.” ers, Central Council Chair tience on the Hill is certainly a
Noting that he has spent five Christian Klossner said, ° ‘Con pius for us.” She said among
le ears at Albany, Swygert sidering the charges of religious challenges Swysert will face at
: Ape flip-flopping. racial panderiug FLow ard include budget cuts
7 and tape cover-ups, PM ST From, gy “recession-happy
| prised he che ntleave SGN, Congress.”
Oh Pick Si eee wae PO Phe Times Union also report-
. in Philadsiphia. sc a arg 1p PO OLN BERIT
; March 17, 1943, W pew 90 thal Swrygerts salay,
- will Increase from $138,060 to
r $18O,000 when he moves to
| Howard. os
i ; University Kelations represen-
: ee voir tative Joel Blumenthal said
rte alae be ee SUNY Chancellor Bartlett and
; ki has vi ty the University Council will
, Pierre Koniacis and had seats BH choose an interim president te
1 —* pans ppointmen on ihe Ge replace Swygert soon, to begin
5

involved and suid 1 wes sarne-

Center far Advanced Techs acting August 1.


6 Friday, May 4, 2001 ALBANY STUDENT PRESS

Cedtane ¥ Lifeatoyle

attowe 8 tefestyts

Cudteas % Lifestahe

Oinre y “estat,

Sex with Hiliters:

Where have all the cowboys gone?

By KENNY HERZOG
Staff Writer

Since rock n’ roll’s incep-
tion, is been easy cnough to
define a decade by one or two
quintessential groups or super-
stars. There was Elvis, Zeppelin,
U2, R.E.M. and Pearl Jam. The
list isn’t necessarily limited to
that handful of musicians, but
that’s certainly where it stops.
“band of the
are no

There’s no more

chore

decade.”
enduring rock stars.

In the burgeoning MTV2
age, acts like the aforementioned
U2 and Pearl Jam, who are stal-
warts of the charts and radio, but

more

efforts, they are in effect, making
themselves hip in a grassroots,
“we're here to make rock music”
kind of way again that is appeal-
ing to the underground masses
always looking for what’s hipper
than hip. Sometimes, re-embrac-
ing the ones people once labeled
as “sellouts” can be the ultimate
self-indulgent form of hip-ness
for them. It’s kind of like saying
“hey, I’m so hip and underground
that I can like these mainstream
bands and not fecl ashamed about
it. Besides, they’re the only peo-
ple out in the commercial world
making real rock music nowa-
days.”

This is all fine and well. I’m

Courtesy of mity.com

not fooled for a second by any of

by no means ancient, have to re-
invent themselves as a cult phe-
nomenon from the ground up
again. For these two in particu-
lar, putting out a back-to-basics
rock record and gazillions of live
bootlegs, respectively, was a
choice of artistic merit and mod-
ern-day business savvy.

With the fickle patience and
limited imagination of the TRL
generation and all its accom-
plices, a veteran band can no
longer afford to get gimmicky

and cute, as U2 did with “Pop” or -

political and deep, as Pearl Jam
did with just about every aspect
of their career.

Their only choice is to
rewind themselves and go back
to what it was that got them their
core audience in the first place.
U2 captured a large college audi-
ence and soon the world with
thoughtful, resonate songs that
were simply structured, but had a
sound all their own. Pearl Jam
gained fame off of the carnest
singles “Alive” and “Evenflow”
that were supported with nothing
more than some concert footage
and the luxury of being from Nir-
vana’s home town of Seattle.

By going back to their foun-

dation with their most recent

it. Frankly, I never stopped listen-
ing to U2 and still think Pearl
Jam is overrated. You know what
though? As long as they’re steal-
ing some thunder away from
today’s “pop” atmosphere, then
that’s fine, regardless of the
twisted and perverted logic that
goes into it.

What still gets lost in all this
is that very soon, there’s going to
be no inductees into the Rock and
Roll Hall of fame. There will be
no legendary artists like David
Bowie and Paul Simon that re-
created their sound and style and
were given the room to do so for
decades. All that will be left isa
Top 40 wasteland littered with
the remains of people whose
name we can’t remember, in spite
of the fact that 20 million of us
bought their album.

I really did think At The
Drive-In had a shot at breaking
the mold and really shaking
things up. Maybe not to the point
of being the next Rolling Stones,
but at least Alice in Chains cal-
iber. Of course, they have gone
on “indefinite hiatus.” Ironic, but
at least they were in control of
their music until the very last
moment. Every snotty critic in
America right now (including

myself) probably feels like
they’ ve been cheated on and lied
to.

What will it take then, for
there to be the next great rock
band with record sales justified
by their talent? Is 1t music educa-
tion in schools or bombing the
MTV building in Times Square?
Perhaps as with everything else,
it’s the parent’s responsibility.
Maybe they should be less wor-
ried about their kids watching
“Jackass” while looking at inter-
net porn and be on the lookout
for Carson Daly and his daily
brainwashing ritual. If John
Lennon thought the Beatles were
bigger than Jesus, then Carson
might pose a huger threat than
Hitler.

Sure, you can point to a
group like Aerosmith and say,
“hey, they never lost steam.” No,
but they did lose almost all song-
writing ability and made up for it
with lots of cheesy ballads, high-
profile actors in their videos and
zero problem with staying exact-
ly the way people want them.
(Just for the record, how friggin
eerie lookin’ is Steven Tyler
nowadays’?...bleck!)

Well, look out folks, because
all I can do is stick to the over-
whelming optimism that I so
often employ. Things suck right
now. I get nauseous on a daily
basis having to overhear morons
at Shea Stadium talking about
how they liked Mystikal “before
he was famous when he was on
No Limit.” Or, for that matter,
seeing that Shania Twain’s album
is still on the charts while Radio-
head is already a blip on that
radar once more.

Considering the latter is as
close as we’ve come to having
the next U2 or Led Zeppelin
though, there’s no real reason to
go to Defcon 5 just yet. That
band is a bit too weird for most
people to swallow whole. It’s not
like crack. That kind of music
takes more than 30 seconds to
take over a large segment of the
population. I firmly believe that
once the right band comes along,
containing the perfect mixture of
great songs and commercial via-
bility, then dignity and balance
will be restored to the musical
universe. The cover of Rolling
Stone will be graced with a band
or musician that has paid their
dues and continues to enthrall us,
as opposed to a polished and
prettied group of entertainers.

Long live the archetypal,
long-lasting, credible “band of
the decade” tradition and all that
it stands for! Even in it’s current
nascent period, it represents more
than every artist on the Billboard
100 put together.

The Philth and the Fury:
A small creature 1n a

passionate world

By Puitie RAFFAELE
Staff Writer

For me, Mouse on Mars
always used to be one of those
generic IDM groups. I had ‘Iaora
Tahiti’ from a friend’s recom-
mendation, but never real-
ly got into it. Pll admit I
was a little biased when I
got idiology - 1 just didn’t
know what to expect from
it.

Boy was I way off tar-
get. Since getting this
album a few days ago, I
must have listened to it 15
times, each time noticing
something else that is sim-
ply unadulterated _ bril-
liance.

A 10 second silent
countdown starts the disc
off, and then it just erupts into
full-fledged insanity for the next
11 tracks. Heavily morphed and
mashed up beats start bumping,
and then the vocals get thrown
into the mix. Totally destroyed
lyrics create a wicked electric
speech impediment. “Actionist
Respoke” should be the pop
anthem of the year. Very crunchy
and fuzzy background sounds
only enhance this powerful track.

Moving on, “subsequence”
starts off with a steady beat and
turns into a delightful piano riff,
which gives a classic kind of fla-

_vor mixed up with the weighty

percussion. “presence” brings
soft, soothing vocals in, adding a
natural element in contrast with
the mechanical background. As
good as any indie-rock groups of
late, the corresponding instru-
mentals are equally exceptional.
“The ‘illking” is simply a compo-
sition of grandeur, brilliantly
orchestrated with its sweeping
movements and gentle melodies.

What a delightful change of
pace, to have some really great

vocal tracks interfused with some

instrumental electronics. It real-

ly is the best of both worlds. |
haven’t heard this kind of hybrid
work done so well since Capitol
K’s ‘pillow.’ The vocals, all done
by Dodo Nkishi, who is also
MOM’s drummer are just mind-

blowing.

“first: break” joins a furious
beat with pounding sequences
and a dump truck filled with
manipulation. My favorite track
by far on the album is ‘introduce’
that has a real hip-hop feel, with
some killer vocals: “To give a
name to the unintroduced. Invent
names that haven’t been used.”

“Fantastic Analysis” is an
instrument-heavy gentle outro*
to the album, making it a total
package. This must be heard
extensively in order to be fully
realized and appreciated.

This album is a masterpiece.
The production is amazing;
MOM are breaking serious terri-
tory of sound interpretation and
creativity, breathing new life into
a genre that relies a lot on the
more technical aspects of music
making. Intricate sounds and
intelligent ideas that never sound
cold and lifeless, /diology is like
a warm blanket with a myriad
patches and complex designs
sewn into it.

The
Albany Student Press
is now looking for
writers for the fall
2001 semester.
If interested, please
send an e-mail to
asp_online@hotmail.com


Celebrate victory

over the ordinary.

Live Music —

° One Sweet World « oom
A Dave Mathews Tribute Band.

Friday, May 4, 2001 ALBANY STUDENT PRESS

7

So long,

By Net BAREISH
Staff Writer

I am out of here. But first let me
leave you with a little something to
remember me by. Hate me, love me, I
don’t care because I am out of here. Cat-
egorically arranged, in classifications
wholly made up by me, here are (cue the
reverb) the best movies of all time. You
may not like them, but I get paid to have
an opinion, so too bad.

The Best Movie:

The Usual Suspects

It may be premature to do this, but this
movie would fit into almost every catego-
ry, so I wanted to get it out of the way
first. The Usual Suspects is not just good,
or great. It 1s addictive, but in a good way.
I do not know how many times I have
seen it, but I am sure that it totals more
than one day spent watching it. Yes, it gets
a “the” in front of it because it deserves it.

Best Movie with Guns and Cursing:
Boondock Saints

That should be a lot of guns and a
____load of cursing. But, underneath the
rough exterior of the movie even though it
might take some digging, Boondock
Saints is a truly good movie. Plus, the
whole mixing of violence: and religion
must have pissed off quite a few priests.

Best “I just got dumped movie”:
Swingers

Like you didn’t expect that one. So what
you're girlfriend-dumped you for some
French guy. You've got Heather Graham
waiting on the other line. Swingers is good
anytime, but I had to make up something
that it would fit into.

Best Date Movie:

Playing By Heart

He gets to look at Angelina Jolic, she gets
to cry (but in that good way), and every-
one wins. Perhaps the most tolerable
chick flick, Playing By Heart is a sure bet
for a Friday night when you just don’t feel
like going out.

Best Mafia Movie:

I do not need to even say it, so I won’t.
You find three hours to kill to watch it;
you do not wait for the free time to come
to you. The only question is: Godfather or

suckers

Godfather IT?

Best Movie Where Nothing Actually
Happens:

Bottlerocket

Ever watch a movie and scratch you head
after, wondering what just happened and
then realizing that nothing happened
all? If not, then see Bottlerocket, Wes
Anderson’s first full-length movie (he
wrote and directed Rushmore). Sit in
amazement and watch at how it seems like
something is always going to happen, but
nothing really does. All it is, is a bunch of
grown men with the maturity of a pack of
ten year olds.

Best Action Movie:

Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai
True, the action may be limited, but that is
probably what makes the movie of such
high quality. Jim Jarmusch writes some of
the most interesting, yet not weird, movies
with an eclectic group of characters. If
you’ve already seen Ghost Dog, then
check out Night On Earth. They are not
very similar, actually they are quite differ-
ent, but both are quality movies and are
probably two of the best that he has writ-
ten.

Best Prison Movie:

The Shawshank Redemption

Yet another contender. for The Best
Movie, Shawshank, as anyone that has
seen the movie calls it, is a work of art
masked in a big budget movie. The melo-
dramatic Overtones are enough to squash
any good feelings that one might have
before sitting down to watch it, but the
ending 1s. enough to-erase. all of that.. The
gray walls of Shawshank are no.match for
the crisp.air of the free world.

Best Feel Better Movie:

My Cousin Vinny

It may not be the funniest movie of all
time, but it is guaranteed to make anyone
laugh. And, after all, laughing ts good for
the soul. Laughing is also good when one
is sick, so it can make somcone feel better
physically as well. Just an idea, you don’t
have to listen.

And so on this note, I leave all of you
underclassmen and those that simply are
not able to graduate quite yet. Once more,
Iam out of here

The Music Minute

By GreG C. HEVIA
Staff Writer
. Eddie Van Halen announced on his band’s

website that he has cancer. He is expected to
recover soon. He plans to resume firing David

Lee Roth as soon as he can.

- The judge in the Napster dispute recently
announced a decision that will actually help
the faltering company. Now music companies
will have to provide Napster with lists of song:
names including altered song names such as
spelling Weezer as. Wheazer. The impact of
| this decision will OPA ost Dr. Dre one

ee which - a eae suc ‘as . DMX and Blink 182 should be. fined for adver- :

tising on show hi I ren would atch, such as TRL. They say that this is because —
of the lyrics of the é tists. T eir effort shows the ae work of the government to
make us a Tittle less free, = by step.

Courtesy of Robert C. Yoder


8 Friday, May 4, 2001 ALBANY STUDENT PRESS

Culture & Lifestyles

Phone interview with Todd Morse,
guitarist for H20, conducted on April 26, 2001

By BEN POLEN
Staff Writer

H20 wil be a main stage per-
former this summer on Van’s Warped tour
after releasing their new album, GO’, on
May 15. H20 has upcoming shows May
17, at Valentine’s in Albany, and on May
18 at Irving Plaza in New York
City.

The interview was scheduled
for 5:30 p.m., but my phone didn’t ring
until 5:45. Todd and his publicist apolo-
gized for the delay. Todd is out on the
west coast and there was some confu-
sion as to what time the interview would
be. Todd said he thought it was going to
be at 5 west coast time. He was friendly
and sounded almost as if he had just
woken up.
BP: What
California?
TM: I moved out here with my girl-
friend to northern California.

BP: What part?

TM: East Bay. There’s a long punk rock
history here.
BP: How do you view your self in rela-
tion to the scene? What are your

are you doing out in

thoughts on the scene?

TM: The scene accepted me when I was
a kid looking for acceptance. I was too
much of a dork and I wasn’t really good

this time last year. We went all over the
country.

(pause while I write my notes)

TM: I also like Boy Sets Fire.

BP: Really? They just played a show here
in Albany. I didn’t get a chance to catch

and then for playing each show?

TM: I play guitar almost everyday. The
main thing about touring is the emotional
separation. At home you’re used to the
comforts and then you have to go out and
surrender that on the road. What makes it

Photo by Stephen Stickler

New York band H20, from left, Adam Blake, Todd Friend, Todd Morse, Toby Morse and Rusty Pistchio.

it going to affect my show? After the show,
it’s deflating. I used to go out and party but
I don’t anymore. I go back on the bus and
go to sleep.

BP: Any crazy stories or adventures you
would like to share?

TM: I get asked that a lot. Once we
drove straight from San Francisco to
Pittsburgh and barely made it to the set.
We got there and had about 5 minutes to
set up. There was the snow tour with-
Pennywise. We were driving through
Canada, almost out of gas, windows
freezing. All these things that happen on
the road. We played with MC Hammer.
We flew to Japan, it was us, MC
Hammer, De la soul, and Bad Brains
original lineup. We were hanging with
MC: that was definitely a trip. We all
got down in front onstage and someone
made a video of that.

BP: Any thoughts on media, video and
technology?

TM: In a business sense it’s scared, but
other than that its kind of cool. It’s a
modern version of the DIY ethic. Just
like Napster is like taping and turning
people on to music. You’re always
gonna see somebody trying to make a
scam. In all of life, there are people try-
ing to rip you off. I don’t really blame
technology when that happens.

BP: Ok, well, I don’t have any more
questions. This has been great, thank

at sports. Ultimately it turned me onto
the music and made me a musician, which
I’ve been able to do full time for 5 years
now and trying for 12.

BP: You just switched to a new label,
MCA, from Epitaph.

TM: Yeah, they’re national, and the guy
that signed us is kind of an old friend. As
for record labels, they all suck in some-
way. Independents have their advantages
over majors, and majors have they're
advantages over independents. We really
couldn't stand out at Epitaph. MCA will
help.us by really defining who we are, not
another Epitaph band. But we left on good
terms.

BP: What do you think of the political
wing of the scene?

TM: When you're young you want to
place yourself in a group of people you can
relate to but if you get too involved it just
becomes another clique. It’s hard as It is to
be open minded. | always try to be. We try
and encourage our fan base, young people,
high school to college age mostly, to be
open minded.

BP: If you had to interview yourself, what
question would you ask?

TM: I chat on the band’s website a lot, so
I kind of know the general questions; what
guitar do I play? What are my thoughts on
selling out? T can explain myself till Pm
blue in the face about selling out. My
experience is when you change the core of
who you are for the goal of making
money, when you could have been your-
self and done just as well. I want to
describe what the industry is like. People
think that when you sign with a major
label you get millions and go on tour next
weck. People have an unrealistic view.
BP: What music do you listen to?

TM: I really like the new U2, but I’ve
been a fan since the beginning. NOFX,
Pennywise, Rancid, their last record was
pretty genius. Saves the Day, Johnny Cash.
BP: You listen to Saves the Day?

TM: Yeah, we toured with them and got
along well.

BP: When did you tour together?

TM: It was our last US tour on the last
record (he puts the phone down and yells
out a question to someone). It was about

them, though. What do you think of the
pop sound in music today? Like, pop-
punk?

TM: I think its cool cause there is a lot of

sugar-coated candy out there, but punk has
always shared something with pop. It has a
simple chord structure and repetition. The
difference is there’s a message with punk.
Its not sugar coated or sane. It’s not the
same old love song. People identify with it
all. There’s always a band somewhere, in a
garage that you and I don’t know about
and they’re making great music. It’s hard
to make it to the level of a band like Saves
the Day. So few bands make it nationally.
What it really comes down to is having
great songs.

BP: Any advice to musicians on being dis-
covered?

TM: A lot of our success came from
knowing people and hanging out. My
brother knew bands, he went to a lot of
shows, Sick of it all, Rancid. I was a music
eck, hanging out in my room practicing
uitar. His network of friends helped us
get out. In the end it doesn’t matter who
you know, it’s your songs. If you’re a new
band and just put out a demo, put your best
3 or 4 songs on it. Make the beginning of
your first song catch their attention. You’re
only gonna get 30 seconds of someone’s

oS

gS

o~

ear. People are jaded. You have to jump»

out and catch them.

BP: What did you do to support yourself
before your band “made it?”

TM: I bartended for eight years. I’ve pret-
ty much done every shitty job you can
think of. It gets to a point when you’re
touring but not making enough money to
live en, that’s when you separate people,
we lost our first bass player this way. It
takes commitment.

BP. Where are you from?

TM: I’m an East Coast mutt. I grew up in
New England, in Newport, Rhode Island.
Then I moved to Maryland/D.C. I went to
Fugazi’s first couple of shows. Saw Emo
break out. I lived in New York for the last
13 years, then met a girl and moved out to
NoCal recently, its pretty good so far.

BP: How do you prepare yourself, emo-
tionally and physically, for going on tour

all worth it is playing the show. When I’m
touring, its all about staying focused on
that one hour or 45 minutes when I play.
Everything I eat and drink, I think, how is

skis books

boots tv's

computers —_ posters

stereos clothing

you very much.
TM: Thank you.

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refrigerators dishes music/cd's

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Tey be
7

C, 23

Culture & Lifestyles

2gn 3 4% swyury

22 ny

Friday, May 4, 2001 ALBANY STUDENT PRESS

Sa

9

vate
RA

The Philth and the Fury:
Nobukazu Takemura —

Hoshi No Koe (Thrill Jockey)

By Puit RAFFAELE
Staff Writer

The new album by Japanese
renaissance man  Nobukazu
Takemura has arrived, bringing
an air of gentle melody to all
coasts. The album actually
begins with the sound of the sea,
blended with soft keys playing a
lazy harmony. Playing all instru-
ments on the album, Takemura
has created a very chilled out
album with a pretty wide range of
sound on this disc. Perhaps the
different sounds come out of his
varied personality traits.

Rumor is that Takemura first
became a hip-hop DJ in Japan,
back in the early 1990’s, when he
heard a DJ Red Alert mix tape.
After musically progressing, he
moved towards creating electron-
ic compositions under the name
Child’s View, and more recently,
under his own name. So contrast
his hip-hop roots with the fact
that he lives and records out of
Kyoto, Japan, which is renowned
for its ancient temples and Zen
gardens. These are just two sides
of this unique musician, which
might help to shed a little insight
into his eclectic symphonies.

For most listeners unfamiliar
with Takemura’s work, this disc

might be seen simply as a Thrill
Jockey release, which in itself
holds a lot of credibility. And
while this album lies in the ‘vein’
of the TJ sound, it goes beyond
the labeling of the label. Many
fans would buy this disc off the
strength of the label alone, and I
don’t think that they would be
disappointed. Some of the tracks
end up sounding more tortoise-
esque than it really is, consider-
ing that Tortoise is the focal point
of the label, then if the album was
on a different label.

But don’t get the wrong idea,
I’m not saying that this album
isn’t unique in it’s own right,
because it is; but that Thrill
Jockey stigma still exists. (Which
I don’t think is necessarily a bad
thing) Certain tracks maintain
that sound, while others branch
out into much more abstract elec-
tronic sound examples, with
some experimental operation
involved. “Honey Comb” for
example, is a musical journey
through assorted bleeps and
orchestrated feedback.

Other tracks, such as “White
Sheep and Small Light” sound
like they could be the soundtrack
to a children’s storybook; for
some reason I’m thinking “The
Pied Piper.” The track “sign” is
the standout of the album, with a

fast-paced electronic beat that
wanders around, switching back
and forth between channels, and a
soothing vocoder voice singing
throughout. Apparently,
Takemura will release an album
titled sign in May, featuring col-
laborations with Bundy K.
Brown, Doug McCombs and
John McEntire. Takemura’s pre-
vious full-length effort, scope,
was met with critical acclaim
from all over the world, and the
consensus will be agreed upon
with one listen from this new
disc.

Hoshi No Koe combines
many different elements of
sound, ranging from the mellow
child-like tunes, to complex elec-
tronic forays that keep evolving
within themselves. A great dose
of healthy ingenuity, and a wel-
comed face in contemporary
electronic music. Takemura
seems to have released a signifi-
cant amount of records under var-
ious monikers in Japan, including
his own label Childisc. He is
branching out with a whole
bunch of new material for world-
wide consumption. He will be
touring the US with Tortoise, and
performing at the Sonar Festival
in Europe.

Sanitary
confinement

By Timotuy BLUM
Staff Writer

‘“What’s next? A toilet paper
shortage?” That is the question
filmmaker Todd Sandler ponders
about UAlbany in his next self-
produced film, Sanitary
Confinement. The sophomore’s
previous work, Corey, followed
a girl’s journey to fulfill her
dying father’s wish.
Confinement will follow a jour-
ney of a different kind — a quest
for proper sanitation.

“This is a satire on our
school,” says Sandler, a mathe-
matics major and film studies
minor. “People will relate to this
because it is set on campus and
is more college student orientat-
ed.” The plot follows Mark
(played by SUNY student Kris
D’ Amore) on a quest to relieve
his stranded friend, ironically
named John, who is stuck on the
toilet without anything for wip-
ing.

Joshua Norkin portrays the
unlucky friend and Alexander
Prezioso also stars. Professor
Keith Hale from the theatre
department also lent a hand for
the acting in the film. Compared

with Corey, this film is definite-
ly a movement in another direc-
tion for the aspiring filmmaker.
While older brother Terry, who
co-produced Corey, was avail-
able for support and suggestion,
this is essentially a solo project
for Sandler, who worked over
four months to shoot, edit, and
complete everything.

“T’ve taken a step back and
tried something comedic,” he
says. Combine UAlbany and a
liking for “surreal comedy,” it is
easy to see how the concept of
the film was thought up. Corey
has enjoyed some success since
its screening on campus back in
October. Having already been
picked up by Internet sites like
Ifilm.com, the short film went on
to the Westchester Film Festival
and has just been bought by the
Independent Film Channel.

Despite his success, Sandler
remains reserved about his tal-
ent. “That film was not about the
money,” he says. “We wanted to
do something that we both loved
doing.” Using a variety of cam-
era techniques and mostly hand-
held camera shots, Sanitary
Confinement will be screened on
campus in Lecture Center 5 on
Friday, May 4 at 8 p.m.

The last

By KENNY HERZOG
Staff Writer

So I suppose that since this
is my last article, I should do
some kind of typical summa-
tion. You know. What my goal
was, if I accomplished it, where
I went wrong and what I can
apply for the future from my
experiences writing for the
ASP.

Or maybe I should buck
tradition, realize no one reads
the Student Voice and for once
use this paper as a forum for
more general thoughts outside
of music. You know. How I feel
about graduating and where I
might be headed in the future.
Well, there is some credence to
both of those farewell methods.
It kind of goes back to that
whole “clichés are clichés for a
reason” thing. All those
thoughts are certainly running
through my head and I feel the
urge to use this forum to
espouse them.

What can one really say? I
never really did this for any
other reason than to get a
chance to talk passionately
about something I care deeply
about. That being the bands I
love and loathe and the pop cul-
ture I adore. dissecting either
way. I did it for the goose-bump
inducing pride of seeing my
uncensored views on these sub-
jects in print for a potential
audience of thousands every

of the hi-liters

week. I did not anticipate that
they would really stir up much
reaction one way or the other. I
feel that for two years, with no
exceptions, I have given a no
b.s., fairly thoughtful, always
honest and unashamed column.
Some people appreciated at
least this much, if not my
views. The fact that once in a
while, a _ stranger would
approach me at a bar to give
some sort of kudos was some-
what disorienting, but always
gratifying. More often though,
particularly with articles per-
taining to specific “scenes” or
groups of stereotyped people, I
incited a mass negative reaction
that manifested itself in angry
letters, threats, confrontations
or most pleasantly, drunken sit-
downs at the Partridge Pub. I
often accepted the criticism. It
was the fully realized flipside
of this glorious exposure my
articles were given.

I got better and better at
being professional and letting it
roll off my back and disappear.
Sometimes, I wanted to shout
the truth to the world about
how someone’s letter to the edi-
tor was based on an idiotic mis-
understanding of the essence of
my piece. Other times, I swal-
lowed it like a champ because
the person was pretty much
right.

Either way, I always
believed that any criticism was
worth it so long as I was giving
people something that wasn’t

tainted because I was too much
of a wuss to print something
other than what I would say in
my living room over a few
beers.

So while it frustrated me
that people couldn’t put that in
perspective sometimes, I
remained glad no matter what
that there was evidence of peo-
ple picking up the paper, check-
ing out my stuff and being
incited to a strong opinion

either way.
All of that mumbo jumbo
aside, I do feel somewhat

unfulfilled and often felt what I
was doing was futile. I came to
this school having nothing but
my love for music. It was the
ultimate bond between my high
school friends and I and was
my best way to connect with
other human beings. Of course,
I eventually learned to find pas-
sion in other things, namely
these columns and figured out
how to chill with people who
had nothing of that ilk in com-
mon with me.

Nonetheless, I always
found it depressing and isolat-
ing that it was so damn hard to
find anyone on this campus that
was into anything aside from
Dave Matthews or friggin Puff
Daddy. Maybe I was an idealis-
tic moron, but I genuinely
thought my column would be a
good way to introduce a lot of
people to stuff they’ve never
heard. It wasn’t a matter of
mythinking I was cooler or bet-

ter than anyone. I wasn’t trying
to shove anything down unwill-
ing throats either.

The overwhelmingly popu-
lar frats and sororities at this
school do rush every semester
because they believe the col-
lege experience isn’t complete
without the fun and cama-
raderie they offer for just a few
hundred bucks a semester. All I
ever pleaded for through my
columns was for the minimal
price of 10-15 dollars, to go to
a record store once in a while
and check out an artist that can
have an incredible impact on
some aspect of your emotions
without your having to roll
through mud or sleep in a base-
ment for a month. Like I said, a
handful of people have
acknowledged that I’ve accom-
plished this here and there and
it makes me feel great. Not in
that egotistical sort of way. I
get a genuine childish chill
when I know that a band which
deserves more support has been
discovered by a few new peo-
ple.

For the most part though, I
feel similar going out of
UAlbany as I did coming in.
The prevailing feeling I got was
that I was writing for an audi-
ence that simply didn’t really
care to have some stupid pre-
tentious kid try and get all deep
about music on them when they
were just looking to enjoy their
weekends and not really have
to think. This might seem like a

bitter and unnecessary way to
say my final piece in this paper,
but like I said, I’m not interest-
ed in sparing honesty for any
particular reason.

I guess this is my point in
all this pessimism. I feel as if I
buried myself in a ditch where I
allowed myself to be vulnera-
ble and labeled by a lot of peo-
ple who didn’t really know me
or get what I was trying to say
that well. And that, as I’m well
aware, is the nature of the
beast. So essentially, I’ve loved
having the opportunity to share
my thoughts with all of you
regardless and it has been fun,
cathartic and well worth it
overall. But frankly, I’m not
sure how well I can handle that
anymore. So this might be my
last column for the ASP, but it
might be the last time I do
something like this for a long
time anywhere. So whether you
thought I was an ass, thought I
listened to dumb music and had
too many opinions; whether
you enjoyed my stuff and
respected my tastes and views;
or whether you’ve never seen
my column before and are won-
dering where this narcissistic
douche bag gets off taking up
this much space reflecting on
his role in some crappy state
school’s on-campus media,
thanks for reading and I hope
you all lead lives that are vast-
ly more successful and interest-
ing than mine.


End parental power-over a minor’s right to choose. IT’S PRO-CHOICE OR NO CHOICE.
The Pro=Choice Public Education Project. 1888 253 CHOICE or www.protectchoice.org


Crime Blotter

11

CRIME BLOTTER

Friday, May 4, 2001 ALBANY STUDENT PRESS

Crimes

4/26 Freedom Quad — Unlawful dealing w/minor — Student arrested for supplying
alcohol to persons underage. Judicil Referrals for harassment & uncooperative
behavior.

4/28 Indian Quad — Criminal Tampering — Responded to activated fire alarm. Two
fire extinguishers discharged, damage done to door, AFD on scene

4/28 Hamilton Hall — Falsely Reporting — Responded to activated fire alarm, AFD &
PP on scene. Cleared

4/28 Herkimer Hall — Falsely Reporting — Responded to activated fire alarm, AFD &
PP on scene. Cleared

4/28 Tuscarora Hall — Criminal Mischief — Unknown person(s) vandalized and dam-

aged door.

4/28 Seneca Hall — Criminal Mischief — Unknown person(s) vandalized and damaged
door

4/28 Colonial Gold Lot — Criminal Mischief — Parked vehicle found scratched - no
witnesses

4/29 Dutch Quad — Disorderly Conduct — Cristonial staff found slanderous flyers left
by unknown person(s), confiscated and destroyed.

4/29 Albany — Disorderly Conduct — Student arrested for attempting to break mirror
off parked vehicle

4/29 Albany — Disorderly Conduct — Student arrested for deflating tires on parked
vehicles

4/29 Albany — Disorderly Conduct — Student arrested for throwing a beer can into
oncoming vehicular traffic

4/29 Beverwyck Hall — Criminal Mischief 4th — Vending machine broken into, some
product stolen

4/30 Indian Quad — Tampering with Consumer Product — Another student arrested (on
a previous case) for tampering with consumer product

4/30 Lecture Center — Disorderly Conduct — Unknown disguised male disrupted a
class by running through classroom

4/30 Indian Quad — Criminal Mischief — Unknown person(s) drew graffiti, no wit-
nesses

5/1 Indian Quad Roadway — Illegal possession of marijuana

5/1 Dutch Quad — Harassment — Harassment of male student

5/1 Alumni Quad — Harassment 2nd — Female student complained of harassment by
known male student

5/1 Eastman Tower — Falsely Reporting Incident — Unknown person(s)activated fire
alarm, PP & AFD on scene, cleared

Incidents

4/27 Mohawk Tower — Verbal argument between students

4/27 Richardson — Responded to person with injury due to a fall, 5 Quad transported
to St. Peter’s

4/27 State Quad Roadway — Car towed to Dott’s Garage

4/27 Livingston Tower — Two students reported common room trashed

4/27 University Drive West — Two vehicle accident

4/27 State Quad Roadway — Car towed due to excessive fines

4/28 UPD Base — Student reported lost SUNYCard

4/28 Indian Pond Woods — Responded to report of brush fire, AFD extinguished,
scene cleared.

4/28 Sayles Hall — Activated sprinkler trouble alarm, AFD & PP on scene. No prob-
lems detected, cleared

4/28 Indian Quad — Respond to welfare check of student per parent’s request, student
OK

4/28 Downtown Campus — Exterior, interior doors found open, all secured

4/28 Colonial Quad — Several doors open, secured

4/28 UPD Base — Responded to welfare check on student, now back on campus.

4/28 Draper/Husted/RI — Door timers not working

-4/28 Hamilton Hall — Responded to activated fire alarm, AFD & PP on scene. No
problem found, secured. Res Life referred five students for not leaving building.

4/29 Irving Hall — During search due to activated fire alarm, unresponsive student
found. AFD on scene, 5 Quad revived & released

4/29 Indian Quad — Several doors found open, secured

4/29 Physical Education — Responded to report of female having difficulty breathing.
5 Quad treated.

4/29 Fulton Hall — Responded to report of verbal argument

4/29 Irving Hall — Responded to activated fire alarm, caused when student acciden-
tally hit detector on ceiling. AFD, PP on scene, cleared.

4/29 Freedom Quad — Responded to report of fire alarm in laundry room, AFD & PP
on scene. No fire, cleared.

4/30 State Quad Roadway — Responded to a report of a vehicle striking a fence. Non-
student ticketed for leaving scene.

4/30 Indian Quad Roadway — Car towed due to suspended driver’s license

4/30 Freedom Quad — Responded to assist handicapped person

4/30 Campus Center — Activated alarm set off accidentally

4/30 Waterbury Hall — Intoxicated student transported by 5 Quad to AMC

4/30 State Quad Roadway — Leaving scene, property damage accident

5/1 Indian Quad Roadway — Arrested student’s vehicle towed

5/1 RACC Turnaround — Two vehicle accident

5/1 Indian Quad — Car towed due to excessive fines

5/1 Science Construction Site — Monitored area when union representatives visited
union workers on site

5/1 State/Ontario — Faculty member harassed by unknown pedestrian

9/23/00. State Quad — Assault — Male & female ran from cab without paying,
then male punched cab driver who chased them. Driver refused to press
charges, stu dents paid fare. Judicial referrals underage drinking, assault,
attempted theft of services.

9/25/00 Parking Management — Conspiracy — Two students arrested for con-
spiring to not pay full parking fee.

9/27/00 LC Computer Center — Assault — Student arrested for slapping and hit-
ting cleaner with mop after being asked to leave closed area.

10/1/00 Dutch Quad Road — Grand Larceny: Food delivery vehicle left running,
stolen. Located about an hour later at Best Western, Western Avenue.

9/23/00 Collins Circle — Parked car out of gear, rolled

The Best of Crime Blotter
2000-2001

5/1 UPD Base — Driver making a delivery to construction site was harassed on route
i
ie

5/1 Page Hall — Door unable to unlock
5/1 Draper — T.V. moved
Pg
t +
af Heettt

1/18 Library — Grand Larceny — Non-student wrote bad check to sign out 23
library books. Never returned books.

12/9 Colonial Quad — Mental Health Law — Student who had been drinking and
also took overdose of over the counter medication. Paramedics and ambulance
responded; subject refused treatment and was transported to hospital under
Mental Health Law- potential danger to self.

1/20 Lecture Centers — Report of suspicious male sleeping in hallway. Found stu-

dent locked out of his room. Officer helped him gain access to room.
1/22 Oneida Hall — Refrigerator on fire. AFD on scene. Student referred to Judi-
cial Board.

3/6 RACC — Forcible Touching — Student’s breast

into two others.
10/14/00 Washington Avenue — Harassment — “Road

10/15/00 Mohawk Tower — Petit Larceny — Two foot
plastic penguin decoration missing from room 10/14
- 10/15.

Crime of the Yéar:

rage” incident; driver stopped his car, approached 9/27 LC Computer Center — ¢e Delivery person forgot where he parked
another driver yelling and reached in his window and Assault — Student arrested for 3/16 Indian Quad — Criminal Tampering — Student’s
grabbed his neck. slapping and hitting cleaner Shampoo had Windex poured into it by suitemates

with mop after

leave closed area.

intentionally grabbed at concert.
3/13 Alumni Quad — Respond to report of stolen vehi-

3/16 Indian Lot — Respond to three females screaming
about rattlesnake in box. Officer found two hamsters in
box.

4/3 Western Ave — Assault — Three female students

being asked to

10/24 Dutch Quad — Exposure of Person — Judicial
referral of student for “mooning” female students and also exposing his penis.

10/20 Humanities-Education Road — Car hit ladder on other vehicle damaging
ladder.

10/27 Colonial Quad — Taxi cab stolen in Albany located at Colonial Quad - key
was in it and it had been driven up stairs onto Quad. No suspects at this time.

11/30 Colonial Quad — Can of urine placed outside suite door by unknown per-
son so that it would spill when door opened.

12/14 Campus Center — Forgery — Student’s check forged and cashed by anoth-
er student with same name except middle initial.

12/17 Ontario & Western, Alumni Quad — Pizza delivery vehicle left running out-
side Alden Hall stolen. Crime report taken by Albany Police Dept.

assaulted by eight teenage girls. APD intervened.

4/1 Mohawk Tower — Four knives taken from student and secured at UPD.

4/I Indian Quad — Student’s sword confiscated

4/2 Draper Hall — Custodian found crack pipe in first floor bathroom

4/6 Stuyvesant Tower — Two swords and set of chucka sticks confiscated

4/16 UPD Base — Report of two unknown males selling car stereo speakers from
their car on campus

4/23 Base — Falsely Reporting 2nd — Unknown male called in a bomb threat in
LCs. LC area checked with negative results.


Testing First Amendment Rights

PUG
You

Liberal use of all types
of curses for no reason

Page 8

Testing First Amendment Rights IT

Extensive nudity in a
very petty attempt at
increasing our reader-
ship

Page 16

Another
Stupid
Parody

Issue 13 - Friday, April 34, 2000

Dr Laura tunes in, turns on, drops by for
surprise visit; joins Power Exchange

Looking forward to all types of spanking

By HENNESSY McGUuFFIN
Big Staff Leg-Humper

Dr. Laura, the infamous
sindicated (sic) talk show host
who previously blasted UAlbany
and campus S&M _ group “The
Power Exchange” on her radio
show, apologized for her com-
ments on Tuesday night and
announced that she will now be
joining the group.

The announcement fol-
lowed a day in which the doctor
acted on am open invitation and
payed an impromtu visit to cam-
pus and a mecting with President
Hitchcock and Power Exchange
representatives.

The visit happened to coin-
cide with an appearance by
Merry Prankster and Writcr’s
Institute guest Ken Kesey. Dr.
Laura and Kesey ran into cach
other while waiting on line at
Zepp’s for 45 minutes.

What happened next ts in
dispute. The two both ordered

medium iced teas. Meanwhile,
an anonymous student “dosed”
what was thought to be Kesey’s
drink with LSD. Yet somehow,
the otherwise identical drinks
were mixed up. Some say that
Kesey deliberately allowed the
switch to occur, while others
argued that there was no switch,
and Dr. Laura was simply in too
close proximity to Kesey, magi-
cally soaking up his “vibes.”

At a news conference later,
after announcing her new mem-
bership in the Power Exchange,
Dr. Laura also said that she is
changing her political party affil-
iation from Republican to “Pur-
ple....purple with yellow polka
dots.”

Half an hour later, while
meeting with President Hitch-
cock and the Power Exchange,
Dr. Laura began to giggle uncon-
trollably. She proceeded to dash
from the office, and flew over
University Drive up to the foun-
tain.

Witnesses say the doctor
proceeded to strip naked and run
into the fountain, shouting,
“Wash away my sins! Cleanse
me oh fountain of joy! Oh foun-
tain of life!”

There were no apparent
injuries, but 5-Quad Ambulance
later reported three cases of spon-
taneous blindness. Architectural
engineers also said the bell tower
suffered a structural shift, caus-
ing it to fall flacid, and a
spokesperson for the Department
of Buildings and Maintenance
said, “The unnatural spiritual
energy released by Dr. Laura’s
nudity has irrevocably altered the
bell tower. It may never again
stand fully erect.”

One thing that was flushed
were students’ attention to the
spectacle. Hitchcock and the
Power Exchange rushed to the
scene, only to find Herr Doctor
spread eagle, exploring her sexu-
ality with a rather well-endowed
coed. Hitchcock watched, shout-

Saturday

You

Six Day Forecast

Sunday

Wednesday

Monday

Really

Thursday

THESE PAGES ARE ONLY A JOKE. J-O~K~E. PLEASE
DON’T SUE US FOR LIBEL. PLEEEEEEAAAASE. WE CAN’T
AFFORD A LAWSUIT.

member

This device and many others are what’s in store for Power Exchange's newest

ing, “Laura, you forgot your iced
tea! Your iced tea!” while sip-
ping the drink, the Power
Exchange proceeded to initiate
the inebriated media pundit.

As the sun set over Dutch

Hitchcock Revelations Stun Students

By TONY GRAY
Associate News Editor

Albany students are still
recling from two startling revela-
tions from University President
Karen B. Hitchcock during Foun-
tain Day ceremonies last week.
Our normally laconic President
first shocked the thronged multi-
tudes by unexpectedly announc-
ing a 60 percent cut in fees next
year, for services such as text-
book sales, food service, and bev-
erage vending.

Within seconds of her news
the Fountain came to life. The
combination made students hap-
pier than hippies at the original
Woodstock, and helped fucl
excitement at this year’s festivi-
tics. The cheers erupting from the
crowd of approximately 5,000
students present were the loudest
ever heard at Albany, according
to one long-time faculty member.

“Yup, I haven’t heard those
damn boozers get so excited
since women started wearing

mini-skirts,” reminisced 68-year
old professor Fay LeMall. Uncer-
tainty existed whether Hitchcock
would be able to speak at the tra-
ditional campus rite of Spring,
after receiving a concussion only
days prior to her speech.

University spokesman Iwon-
ta Tellushit said Hitchcock fell
while riding her Arabian stallion,
which is how she hit her head on
the bedpost. “Her doctors weren't
sure if she would recover in time
to deliver her Fountain Day
speech,” he said. The normally
aloof Hitchcock told a fantastic
tale when she spoke with
reporters after her speech. Hitch-
cock said a different ghost visited
her on each night of her three
delirious days of recuperating, in
her University provided mansion.
“It was awful,” said the visibly
distraught President, explaining,
“I don’t even like to be near live
students.”

Supposedly the ghost of stu-
dents past brought her back to the
idyllic days when Evan Collins
was the warmly regarded head of

the State College for Teachers -
respected by faculty and wel-
comed by students.

“T couldn’t believe it when I
saw him roaming the campus,
chatting and joking with stu-
dents,” recalled Hitchcock, still
upset about current perceptions
of her revealed by the ghost of
students present.

“Anyone who believes ’m a
cold-hearted witch, with a calcu-
lator for a heart, and vacuum for
a soul, is just wrong,” exclaimed
the dejected President. On the
third night, a ghost appeared,
claiming to represent the students
of the future. This ghost revealed
that her name, like Ozymandius,
was unknown in the future and
the few monuments bearing her
testament wore the names of oth-
ers.

“Those bastards changed
everything on campus with my
name on it,” fumed Hitchcock.
“You know who replaced me?”
she asked. “Mediocrities, and
incompetents with big wallets -
that’s who!” Hitchcock said she

realized there was still time to
change history’s course, and
decided to take drastic immediate
action, and stop screwing stu-
dents.

“Economically raping stu-
dents just because I could was
wrong but, I have to admit, it was
a lot of fun,” said the shame-
faced President.

Students apparently don’t
care why she decided to slash
rates, they’re just happy that she
did. Next year’s savings from
lowered dorm rates, meal plan
prices, and textbooks promise to

Quad and the pagan rituals com-
menced, even the most cynical of
observers couldn’t help but feel a
warm ooziness in his or her trans-
gendered heart.

be considerable.

Freshman Ima Post-Ho drew
laughter from the surrounding
crowd when she shouted, “Yeah!
Maybe now I won’t have to show
my boobs to get pizza.”

The President drew even
greater laughter when she made
her most startling revelation of
the day. “I guess students care
less about how much I know than
knowing how much I care,”
mused Hitchcock, before  strip-
ping to frolic naked in the Foun-
tain mist.

Misspellings............. ve 18 Story about administration Check out the Albany Student Press Onlineat
Story about SA screwing you..4 — SCFEWING YOU.......sccseeeeseeeees 20

Crime Blotter (We know thats Somebody whining..........0.+8. 8

all you read uS fOr).......-0+++ 10 More whining........ PEE rae a 3 www. albanystudentpress. com


] 6 Friday, September 24, 1999 ALBANY STUDENT PRESS

Parody

Central Council:

President McCampbell drunk... again

By GreEG C. HEVIA
Graduating Staff Writer

Forget the presidential elec-
tion. Ignore the Cirque de
Soleil. Even the great gladiator-
ial combat of the Roman empire
cannot compare to this week’s
Central Council meeting. The
action started off fast and furious
and never let down for minute.
Filled with scandal, controversy
and booze, this week’s meeting
was one to remember. To start it
all, an announcement from
NYPIRG. “This week we fed
some homeless people,” said the
spokesperson, “after that we
protested about sweatshops in a
third world country no one cares
about. Basically we just spent
the week being overfunded hip-
pies, and we _ helped a
Guatemalen child named Pepe.”

After that little announce-
ment came the Executive reports
which ended on a high note when
President McCampbell burst in
swaggering and carrying a bottle
of high priced 18 year old single
malt scotch. After most of the
Executive board had spoke, Vice
President David Bishop was
about to give a speech detailing
what actually happened during
the scandal of the Snell adminis-
tration, when in burst
McCampbell.. The President
-swaggered like Janis Joplin as
she came into the room dragging
Chuck Snell in chains. “You
bastard,’ She cried at Snell “I

tried so hard to be president, all
my time spent campaining and
this is what I get? Nothing but
debt and hard ship, oh woe is
me.” She then proceeded to flog
Snell with a bamboo cane crying
“How could you have done that
too me? I tried so hard, I did so
much, I throw up in the morning
because of you and your adminis-
tration!” Council Chair Jeremy
Beroza then resigned for good
measure. He then quickly unre-
signed.

It was then that the people’s
champion Andrew Hartmann
stood up against the President,
just because he is an anarchist.
He quickly drew up a Dill to
Impeach the president for the dis-
play and the bill passed with fly-
ing colors. The only person who
objected was Brian Levine, who
declared that the bill was uncon-
stitutional. He immediately took
the decision to both members of
the supreme court. The two
debated until the court dead-
locked with a 1-1 vote.
McCampbell was then removed
from office as she shouted at
Hartmann, screaming “I'll get
you and your little dog too!”

After the crowd had calmed
down, Council got down to busi-
ness passing some bills. The
first bill passed kicked off coun-
cil members who stopped going
to the meetings. Then council
got down to the big bill of the
night. The bill at hand would
give funding to a new group
called Exchange of Power. The
group is one for people who

enjoy using electricity and red
hot pokers for sexual stimulation.
Apparently there is a big move-
ment against these people on
campus and they feel the need for
a support group. All three mem-
bers of the group showed up at
the meeting as the bill was passed
without question and by unani-
mous consent. Brian Levine
protested for good measure.
Council member Joe
Attonito then burst into the meet-
ing carrying a large duffel bag
full of cash. “I found it,” he
said. Attonito then proceeded to
explain that the 500,000 dollars
that SA had been missing was not
actually gone at all but had been
accidentally left in the bottom
desk drawer of the Voice office.
No one had noticed the bag due
to nobody ever working in the
Voice office. Thanks to these
pesky kids the mystery of the

missing money was finally
solved.
After this event, Brian

Levine proposed a late hour bill
proving that everyone but he had
violated the constitution in some
way. After the bill failed the
Supreme Court found in favor of
Levine and had everyone in SA
removed from their positions,
leaving Levine as the sole ruler
of SA. Levine then proclaimed
“T shall rule with an iron fist.”
With that the meeting ended as
Levine had his former adver-
saries dragged off to a labor camp
and a new age of forced peace
was ushered into existence.

In the ever impor-
tant words of Homer
Simpson - “Alcohol,
the cause of, and
solution to all of
life’s problems.”

The Albany Student
Press takes grate pride
in it’s fact checking and
proof-reading capibili-
ties. ,

If you find a error in
our newspaper, clip it
out, and bring it too the
ASP news’room at Cc
329. We’ll give you $5
for every misstake you
find. Offer good until
the last day of clases of
this year - May 8 2000.

Photo of the Year

News Briefs

Student groups protested sweat
shop material again this week.
President Karen  Hitchock
responded by replying “Stop
whining hippies.”

The University plans to imple-
ment a plan that will remove the
flashing blue lights from the
security phones on the Albany
campuses because of student
complaints that they were a dis-
traction.

The new system will contain a
40000 decibel horn that goes off
every five seconds unless the
phone is removed from the car-
raige. If students go more than 5
seconds without hearing the
horns, they are urged to call
UPD.

The URL’s of the Albany Student
Press and the Associated Press
were mixed up yesterday. All
media outlets had to depend on
the ASP’s website for news for
the day. CNN called it the darkest

day in American Journalism
History. On a_ lighter note
UAlbany students that were

rerouted to the AP said they were
very impressed with the depth of
our news coverage.

University Adminstration
announced plans this week to yet
again expand graduation. Plans
for the 2002 Commencement
came about because of a task
force that found the graduation
stilll too impersonal.

The new graduation ceremonies
will begin March | and do 10
graduates per day. Each graduate
will recieve an hour montage in a
“This is Your Life” format.

Brian Levine wins an election.
Now you know its a parody to
see that in our newspaper.

A freshman from Colorado is on
record now for being the first stu-
dent to ever fail Chem. DNA.
When asked what happened, the
student merely responded, “TIM-
MAY'!!”

Following up the success of this
year’s Parkfest with Malcom in
the Middle theme song singers
They Might Be Giants, SA plans
to invite singers of theme songs
from shows Facts of Life,
Charles in Charge, and Different
Strokes for next year.

Attempted Suicide: A clinically
depressed freshman, forced to
live on Alumni Quad, leaps off
Bell Tower. Attempt fails
because the student lands on
University President Karen
Hitchock. Witnesses say that all
the could see was the student and
a pair of striped socks and ruby
red slippers beneath him. The
student walked away with a mild
concussion but ding-dong the
wicked witch is dead. Munchkins
were not available for comment.

Wanted El Justin - Known for
use of bad grammar and spelling
and for ability to fall asleep
standing up. If spotted please
contact the ASP. Do not try to
apprehend him yourself instead
wave a bright, shiny object in
front of him until authoritics
arrive.

o lazy to
change the logo
for our staff
box

he Albany Student Press

Jeremy Morrissey, Editor in over his Head
Benjamin Polen, 3 Martini Lunch
Sharon Druck, News Editor
Mike Kiernan, Life Time Sports Editor? years running
Kathryn McCarthy,
Kelly Becker, Editorials Manager ™er instead of
Dan Sawtelle, Mike’s bitch
Tony Gray, Sharon’s bitch
Joshua Kaufman, Copy Chief

Staf

Called manag-

editor b/c
Editorials
Editor sounds
really stupid

him. How's that
saying go - Too
many chiefs not

One chief, I Sara Chapman, Copie Edetor
editor beneath

Jessica LaFex, Sports Grrrl
Jeff Reitzen, Systems Consultant mult - not sure
Emily Katt, Meow

No system, no
system to con-

what he does

enough Indians

Finger breaker,
extorter, etc...

Cary DeBenedictis, Business Manager Figurehead
Sam Levy, Advertising Manager
Kimberly Gambino, Real business manager
wee Helen McClure, Billing
Victoria Doane, Distribution

The Albany Student Press is published every Friday between August and

here

Its not so funny to make fun of the balloon clown now is it punk. I can crush
your head instantly, now give me back my big red nose

June by the Albany Student Press Corporation, an independent not-for-profit
corporation. Editorials (never get) written (at all) by the Editor in Chief with
members of the Editorial Board (which is non-existent). Advertising policy
as well as letter and column content do not necessarily reflect editorial poli-
cy. The Albany Student Press ® is a registered trademark of the Albany
Student Press Corporation, which enjoys the exclusive rights to any materi-
als herein (good or bad).

Distribution: The Albany Student Press can be found at all Albany cam-
puses of the University at Albany unless it mysteriously disappears, left on
the tables of the LC’s, most University bathrooms, taped to the floor of
University buildings instead of using a i cloth when painting occurs, and
occasionally in those boxes we have around campus.

For advertising information call the
ASP Business Office at 442-5665
Newsroom: 442-5666 "<av".amessoge

- you'll have to


14

Friday, May 4, 2001 ALBANY STUDENT PRESS

Culture and Lifestyle

Concrete Blonde:

If you can’t beat ‘em, join “em

By DOREE LEWAK
Staff Columnist

There’s nothing more obnox-
ious than those sappy, sentimen-
tal forwards you unwittingly
open about enjoying your last
days of college. Before you
realize you have opened the
anonymous e-mail, the ghost
writer from a school you have
never heard of is nudging you to
prematurely reflect upon your
ups and downs at school, good
hookups and Takeback 2000's,
pictures you frame and those you
wouldn’t mind burning right in
the middle of LC3. Perhaps I
should modify my lIcad; there’s
nothing more obnoxious than
those forwards except those end-
of-the-year, final columns that
the cmotionally-unstable blonde
forces you to endure. (It’s my
last Concrete Blonde - you’ ve put
up with me for this long - indulge
me this one last time).

I would be lying if I said I
didn’t get a pang in my heart as |
sat down to write this final col-
umn. It’s not just about retiring
the column, it’s about the end of
an cra. The end of what I will
look back on as the most academ-
ically-trying, — social-climbing
years of my life. [arrived at this
school with no shame and I’m
leaving with my tail between my
legs just as God intended it.

Despite the 10,000 of you (or
17 including my immediate fam-
ily who will read this) who
weren’t there to share these mem-

ories with me and my friends, at
the very least I hope you can get
a cheap laugh at our once-private,
but always pathetic moments at
SUNY. [also took the liberty to
pose some rhetorical questions
for you and your friends to pon-
der at your convenience, pertain-
ing to the subjects I have failed to
figure out at this point in my
drunken stupor.

I hate taking those baby
glides in the LC’s gradual stair-
case. I never feel comfortable
double-stepping, but taking baby
steps one at a time somehow
emasculates me.

Do you have any idea what
the SA’s function is or why the
power struggles within it are so
publicly fierce?

How awkward is it when you
sce your teachers out of the cam-
pus parameters and in a real set-
ting? Ina full-out panic, I once
hid in a Lord and Taylor dressing
room when I saw one of my pro-
{essors trying on clothes next to
me!

I am convinced we have a
physiological problem whereby
we cannot remember the format
to do a bibliography. After four
years at this school, every paper
for which I have to write a bibli-
ography sends me into absolute
helplessness. If I were to partake
in a bibliography line-up, I still
wouldn’t have the capacity to dis-
tinguish between MLA vs. APA!

At what point is it time to
alert campus police that a T.A.
may have crossed that blurry line
from helpful, older mentor to out-

right pedophile?

If you help me successfully
navigate the tunnels on this cam-
pus, I will pay you a hundred
bucks.

Am I alone or do all stu-
dents, in their finest hour, desper-
ately try to compute these statisti-
cally-impossible grades late in
the semester? “Well, if I getan A
on this paper, ace the final, do the
three-page write up on that play
at the PAC, then I can still get a
B+ if she rounds up for my atten-
dance and participation.”

The one time we try to devi-
ate from the three-block radius
that is Albany’s epicenter of funk,
our plan goes awry. My friends
and I await our big night at the
Big House - figuring we’ll meet
law school students, older guys,
and of course those T.A.’s against
whom we have restraining orders
only to see the same people from
school whom we’re trying to
break from!

Is there any way we can
order the public lynching of Jay
Ackerman on pay-per-view?

Before I leave this school, I
would love to see Brian Levine
win an election.

Before I leave this school, I
would love to distinguish one
Juste sister from the other.

I hate CDTA like poison.

What does a girl have to do
around here to make the PKA cal-
endar??!!

Why didn’t anyone tell me
the fountain wasn’t heated?! I
swear there’s permanent shrink-
age going on!

Have you ever slipped and
gotten caught calling someone by
the derogatory nickname you
gave him? You don’t recover
from that faux-pas, I assure you.
That confused look of bewilder-
ment on his face will haunt you
until graduation.

Outgrowing the days when
we dutifully showed up at the
Post every Saturday at 9 for the
free pitchers. Oh, how 28 was a
good year.

At least once in your college
career, you should try getting
escorted out of the Branch by two
big, bad bouncers for karaoke-
singing to a rousing rendition of
Lauren Hill’s “I Love You, Baby”
atop the bar. You will be scarred
for a while, but it makes for a
great story to tell your friends.

No matter how desperate
you are for a ride, never, and I
can’t emphasize this enough,
never take a ride from a 67-year
old retiree who’s on his way to
the Annual Polish Festival in
downtown Albany, even if he
assures you are coincidentally
“on the way.”

Don’t you hate when your
named is tacked onto the end of
your friend’s mass mail? If you
can’t make the top (half) of the
address hierarchy, at least salvage
your self-respect.

Can all those annoying peo-
ple who extol the virtues of
SUNY Albany, “#1! party school,
baby!!!” to everyone they meet
outside the school setting and
stop ruining it for the rest of us
who have to apply for jobs soon?!

How much do you miss the
underground phone system on
campus when you could get cred-
it for calling someone you avoid
like the plague while he/she
thought you put in sincere effort?

Fire alarms at 4 in the morn-
ing on finals week.

Crossing that icy patch back
to Indian linked arm in arm with
your friends for support.

When going down to the din-
ing hall was the huge social event
of the day.

Strutting out in mesh on a
below-freezing night and some-
how we’re not even fazed by it.

In-depth talks with cab dri-
vers on your drunken way home
back to campus.

Your friends running from
cab drivers when they realized
they didn’t have $2 for the fare.

Making the crime blotter.

Crying bitterly in the car ride
up here on moving day freshman
year.

Crying bitterly as we stand
on the threshold to the next chap-
ter of our lives.

The Albany Student Press would like to congratulate our newly
elected Co-Editors in Chief for the 2001-02 academic year:

Emily Katt and Joshua Kaufman

The Alban Shident Press Staft

Jeremy Morrissey, Editor in Chief
Benjamin Polen, Executive Editor
Sharon Druck, News Editor
Mike Kiernan, Sports Editor
Kathryn McCarthy, A&E Editor
Kelly Becker, Editorials Manager
Dan Sawtelle, Associate Sports Editor
Tony Gray, Asociate News Editor
Joshua Kaufman, Copy Chief
Sara Chapman, Copy Editor

AL AAINY
Fe, Jt. "+ NT
BW PFE:

Jeff Reitzen,

Jessica LaFex, Production Manager
Systems Consultant
Emily Katt, Production Staff

corporation. Editorials are written by th

not necessarily reflect editorial po

Last Vestige

Cary DeBenedictis, Business Manager
Sam Levy, Advertising Manager
Kimberly Gambino, Business Staff
Helen McClure, Billing
Victoria Doane, Distribution

~The Albany Student Press is published every Friday between August and
June by the Albany Student Press Cor

Editorial Board. Advertising pees as well as letter and column content do
icy. The Albany Student Press ® is a reg-
istered trademark of the Albany Student Press Corporation, which enjoys the
exclusive rights to any materials herein.
Distribution: The Albany Student Press can be found at all Alban
in of the University at Albany, Mary Jane Books, Mild Wally’s,
eadquarter (Wolfe Rd.), Ben and Jerry’s, Stewarts on Washington Avenue,
Dunkin’ Donuts on Washington Avenue, Ramada Inn, Uncommon Grounds,
e, and the College of Saint Rose Campus Center.

oration, an independent not- for-profit
ne Editor in Chief with members of the

cam-

SUT

DAVID ¢
DUCHOVNY

wilh ia CIMA

JULIANNE
nD. MOORE

EVOLUTION

ibe OLUMGIA PICT

co a
ih i i : MH mi i

“TAN RETA

www.countingdown.com

IAN
PR Ig
UNTAAKUEY og DAVE IAM UAE WE

DAVID OUCHOVNY LAND JES
Hl POLLOCK. JE APPLE ft AUGcRs
AVIO UAMND « DAVID WETSOMAN

EAMVVORKS

IN THEATRES EVERYWHERE THIS JUNE


Culture and Lifestyle

Friday, May 4, 2001 ALBANY STUDENT PRESS

15

i
H

\

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Commu

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Graphic Arts Production Management

Hospitality Management
(Travel & Tourism Option)

Human

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Occupational Teacher Education

Stage Technology

Technology Teacher Education

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300 JAY STREET*e BROOKLYN, N.Y. 11201

How do you

define it?

Happily excited, exuberant, having
high spirits, bright, lively, these are all
synonyms for being gay. Sometime during
the 20th century, the word began being
used to describe homosexuals. Ironically,
the word was derived from the French
word gai. While the majority of American
culture has accepted homosexuality, peo-
ple can’t help but snicker anytime the
word is used seriously. ve never heard
anyone use the word to describe anything
as being happy (except in poetry, but that
in itself is fairly gay) since it’s synony-
mous with being a queer, a not-so-politi-
cally-correct term although many describe
themselves as such.

I found it to be amusing that words
like this can be coined and while it is con-
sidered slang, it still gets enough recogni-
tion to be listed in the dictionary. I once
had a fight with a friend about slang. I
argued that while slang words may not
necessarily be listed in the dictionary, they
do indeed have definitions. Slang is
defined by the everyday use of words
among people, thus giving it parameters.
Eventually, these words are used so often
that they are adopted into the official Eng-
lish language by being placed into the dic-
tionary. While many words have a clear-
cut definition, throughout years of usage,
they can adopt new meanings. As an
example, the word gay was traditionally
used to mean happy or to be a homosexu-
al. Today, the word is commonly used to
refer to something as being lame. I hear
it everyday. While this isn’t the official
meaning of the word, people tend to
understand what is meant. When people
use this definition of the word, they don’t
necessarily mean that something 1s gay in
a homosexual sense. They understand
what the word means and understand that
the person they are speaking to also
understands what form of the word they

are conveying. Isn’t that the purpose of

language, two people speaking in such a
manner with the impression that the other
person will understand? I’m not sure how
this definition of the word evolved. Per-

haps it does have something to do with the
negative connotations of being a homo-
sexual.

A few months ago, I was telling a
friend about something that happened to
me that wasn’t very fun, toilet water
splashing on my ass. Everyone knows this
is a horrible occurrence. My _ friend’s
response, “that’s as gay as the day is
long.” Obviously, he meant that it really
sucked to have toilet water splash on my
ass, there was nothing homosexual about
it. He needn’t even say the entire phrase,
just by saying “gay”, he acknowledges
that he is in agreement.

Some people are definitely way too
uptight and should remember how to have
fun. Must everything people say have to
be analyzed to check for offensiveness? |
usually find these types of people among
the overly PC activists. I figured that
these people would be the most open-
minded. I didn’t realize that I would have
to watch what I say around them, howev-
er it seems that many of them are on this
PC kick. It is important to an extent, but
now it’s to the point that if you don’t say
things certain ways, people will look to
get offended. From what I’ ve experienced
is that gay people often use these so-
called derogatory terms to describe them-
selves. They seem to be the most open
minded people and know how to have fun
and laugh at themselves.

People know the new meaning of this
word and shouldn’t cause such a fuss
when I decide to use it in writing or when
speaking. In the wrong context, the word
could be considered derogatory, and |
probably could use a different word that
means the same thing, but nothing con-
veys the meaning as well as “gay”.

People are never going to be taken
seriously until they learn to laugh at them-
selves. This is the next step in evolution.
People must learn to treat everyone as
equals, while still being able to celebrate
our diversity. As gay as it sounds, it’s all
too truc.

Mike Fagan


¢ ~ ;
pT, 2 eos | een?
sa x a 42 ~#

~ Culture and Lifestyle

Arie (March hot Apa 19): It’s time to fi
_ on the rest of school and get through fi
There will always be time to party when tl
test are done and over with but until then hit
those books.

Taurus (April 20-May 20): Stubborr people
tend to butt heads with other stubborn people.
Stop fighting with everyone and make peace
before the school year ends. Summer brings a a
lot of changes to life that we can t ways
anticipate. —

Gemini (May 21-June 21): Your ability to
meet challenges is a great strength for you.
You meet new things head on and have no
problems dealing with them. This i is exactly
the type of attitude needed to make it a the
real world. . —

Cancer (June 22-July 22): Your c creative ae 2 Kk 6
is calling for you to do some sort of craft or ars

project. Throw a craft party or redecorate the _ bi
house. Anything that will allow. you oO
destress and enjoy life.

Leo (July 23-August 22): People hold you to” ol ol ad ,
high expectations because you always easily _ nothi
meet them. Don’t worry about making mis~
takes because you rarely make big ones.
nobody minds much. Just don t mess up or
your finals,

Virgo (August 23- -September 20): Great io tak
on dealing with school and your social life. ¢
You successfully combine the two to give ti

you a great time. Don’t slack off now on

school. Though you combine the two nicely it ‘inal Messag
might be best to slow down on some of the See suimmer and he
parties till the tests are over,

Libra (September 23-October 23): You’ ee ed
best known for your great hugs and sympa-- - daughter mis ortun
thetic ear. People love this about youandthat =”
is why they constantly ask you for advice. Le

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STATE UNIVERSITY OF NEW YORK

Mouthin’ Off:

Adventure not so great

By JACK GAYTON
Staff Columnist

Did you ever feel like you never real-
ly do anything exciting? I see all those
wild and crazy guys on the Mountain Dew
commercials. So what are the average peo-
ple like us to do when we want excite-
ment? Of course, being relatively lazy I
knew I would never climb a mountain or
gobungee jump, but the weather was get-
ting warmer and I wanted to enjoy a day
away from campus. After some discus-
sions with my girlfriend and a few other
friends, we agreed to spend the day at
Great Adventure.

It seemed like a good idea; why not let
someone else provide the excitement and
all we had to do was fork over a little cash?
We could relax, get some sun, and maybe
even smack Porky Pig around when he
wasn’t looking. Of course, we didn’t have
a lot of money but all we had to do was pay
to get in and have enough cash for lunch,
no problem.

Like most kids I had been to Great
Adventure a few times growing up and I
guess part of me was hoping to relive some
of those experiences. I can still remember
staring up at the giant roller coasters,
smelling the popcorn and hotdogs, being
amazed whenever I would see Bugs
Bunny. What I never noticed was how
pissed off my parents would be by the time
we returned to our car and now I under-
stand why.

Upon arrival to Great Adventure I was
greeted by a nice old man who smiled and
welcomed us all to Six Flags before charg-
ing me 10 dollars to park about a half mile

away from the entrance. At the gate we
were all charged $46.50 to get in and again
we shrugged our shoulders and laughed,
determined to have a “great adventure.”

Once we checked our bags into lock-
ers (another 5 dollars) we high tailed it
over to the Batman and Robin ride that we
had seen on television all the time.
Standing next to a sign that said I would
wait about | hour to ride this ride I began
to question my decision to come here, but
I shook that thought off.

After two hours of weaving through
the line like a mouse hunting down cheese
we were able to actually see the Batman
and Robin Chiller. I have to admit I was
excited to try it out. If people were willing
to waste two hours staring at the back of
someone else’s head just to ride it then it
must be awesome. I climbed in and lis-
tened intently as the 16 year old “safety
expert” gave me the instructions I would
need to survive the “most thrilling experi-
ence of my life.” The horn sounded and we
were shot off...thirty seconds later we were
back exactly where we started. Let me
repeat this to everyone, THIRTY seconds
later the ride was over. I just stood on line
in for two hours for a ride that lasted thirty
seconds.

Four hours later we had managed to
ride on only one more ride. We stood on
line for the Nitro, the newest addition to
Great Adventure, for two hours only to
have it break down and be closed before
we could get on it. What a rip-off this
place is! I'll admit that we fell for the hype
but at least now we knew better. I had
more fun sticking my head out the window
of my car on the freeway as we drove
home.

A sexual suspect:
The naked truth

By BENJAMIN POLEN
Executive Editor

Iam aman and I love my body. I love
it sooo much that I shared it with a large
percentage of the student body on
Fountain Day. I did it because this is col-
lege and, to quote Matt Groening, this is
my last chance to run naked and free.
Groening actually wrote this in his book,
“Childhood is Hell,” and he was talking
about toddlers, not college students, but
what the hell, this campus needs to lighten
up a bit.

For the last week, almost everyone I
have had a conversation with, from long
time friends to casual acquaintances, have
found it necessary to confirm this event
with me. This makes me feel sort of awk-
ward. I mean, where does one really go
with a conversation from there?

Jenny Fields wasn’t my mother, but
she might as well have been. I always had
a good pair of shoes and a liberal educa-
tion,

As I was finishing my naked run (by
the way, do you know that some colleges
and universities, Ivy’s even, have annual
naked runs as a collegiate tradition) I was
harrassed by a juicehead. Up to that point,
the whole event had been a positive expe-
rience. I had been cheered, high-fived, and
hugged. Yet this meathead got all in my
face as I was going back to my friends and
warming down. He called me a “freak.” It
wasn’t the first time I’ve been called that,
and I wasn’t angered. At that moment I
had reached a point of calm, of inner

peace, the elusive plateau where rationali-
ty and love for my fellow humankind can
co-exist with the triumverate of my psy-
che. I held my ground, and the adrenal
gland abuser backed off.

Meat. As in meathead or meat pup-
pet. Why is this considered a deragotory
term? Its carnal, thats why, and assumes a
dominance of brute physicality over the
sublime beauty of the intellect. Meatheads
are men obsessed with working out, look-
ing built, sex, possibly drugs, and partying.
Pleasures of the flesh. A meat puppet, as
William Gibson defined the term, is a
prostitute, a piece of meat to pull on and
use for pleasure.

At the other end of the spectrum are
the people that live only in the mind, They
are the ones divorced from their bodies,
perhaps obese or grossly thin, or possibly
through simple neglect. In my circle
of hell, both of these types are guilty of the
same crime, suicides of the self.

The true, complete self is a concert of
mind, body, and soul. It takes guts, I am
told, to do what I did, to run naked. This I
can attest to, the true beauty of the human
body is in the flesh, but it is also in the
mind, and besides these places it is in the
millimeters of luminescence glowing
from our soul outside our skin. Measure
all three proportionately for yourself, and
you will have balance. In balance is hid-
den truth, and truth’s handmaid, beauty.

Once in a while, I find it myself, and
I can only hope that you do, too. Next
year, may all of Albany be beautiful, and
may all of you run naked and free.

Hoey


Classified Advertising

Friday, May 4, 2001 ALBANY STUDENT PRESS

17

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LEGAL SECRETARY, perma-
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~Summer Sessions 2001
arn More Credit This Summer

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Advance Registration begins March 27. See your academic advisor to get your
summer AVN.

Office of Summer Sessions

University at Albany
LI-85

Albany, New York 12222
(518) 442-5140


18

Friday, May 4, 2001 ALBANY STUDENT PRESS

Sports

1. America East

Conference

The Great Danes finally found a home,
joining the America East Conference.
UAlbany now has the opportunity to qual-
ify for the NCAA Championships with the
automatic bid the conference provides in
almost every sport. The Great Danes join
Stony Brook, Binghamton, Maine, New
Hampshire, Vermont, Boston University,
Northeastern, and the University of
Hartford.

2. Dr. Lee McElroy
hired

Dr. Lee McElroy Jr. was hired as Director
of Athletics over the summer and_ has
already had a huge impact on the athletic
program in his first year. The academic
year has seen the hiring of a number of
quality coaches, the admission to a confer-
ence, and a renewed rivalry with Siena in

basketball beginning next year.

All photos
courtesy of
Sports
Information

5 Albany vs. Siena

The rivalry 1s renewed. The men’s basket-
ball teams have not played in almost 25
years, the women in 20. That will. all
change on November 27, when the two
school’s will meet on the same court at the
Pepsi Arena in a doubleheader that will
feature the women’s game first, followed
by the men immediately afterwards.

4. Ford coaches,
Herfurth plays in

Hula Bowl

Head football coach Bob Ford was sclect-
ed to be a coach of the North team in the
annual college all-star game and offensive
lineman J.T. Herfurth was chosen to play
in the game, the first UAlbany player ever
to be selected to play in the game. It
capped off a season in which Herfurth
received almost every award imaginable

for a man at his position.

10 UAIbany

5. Oliva
breaks
single
season hits
record

Baseball player Mike
Oliva broke the sin-
gle-season hits
record with a week
and a half left in the
season. The senior
has 65 hits right now
and also leads the
team in batting aver-
age, total bases, dou-
bles, RBI, slugging
percentage, and on-
base percentage.

6. Di Micco sets
scoring record

Women’s lacrosse player Dawn Di Micco
broke the school’s all-time scoring record
and assists record this season. The senior
now holds the records with 182 points and
61 assists. The two-sport athlete was the
leader of the team on the field, setting the
tone and pace of every game she was in.
She finished this season with 41 points,
scoring 25 goals and adding 16 assists.

4: Rodriguez wins at
Stanford and Penn

Cross country and track athlete Jamie
Rodriguez won the University Division at
the Stanford Invitational, and would have
finished second in the Championship
Race, running only slower than All-
American Jonathan Riley. The junior also
became the first individual winner at the
Penn Relays when he won the college sec-
tion of the 5,000-meter run in 14:29, a
time that qualified him for the IC4A
Championships.


Sports

Friday, May 4, 2001 ALBANY STUDENT PRESS

19

Events: 2000-01

sp

(91), runs (118), hits (148), and triples

(13). The most impressive part is that she

is only a junior. Terry has a whole year to
add to these numbers and others as well.
The junior is batting .400 this year and has
54 hits, scored 44 runs and stole 46 bases
in this season alone.

8. Terry breaks |
records

Softball player Valerie Terry has recently
set all-time school records in stolen bases

DE-STRESS
DURING FINALS

Join the Renaissance

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OR MELANIE (442-1567)

9.
Johnson
wins BPG

Antione Johnson
hit a game-winning
pull-up three-
pointer at the
buzzer in double
overtime to give
the Danes an 88-86
victory over Army
at the Big Purple Growl. The crowd of
over 3,000 went crazy in a game that went
back and forth throughout. Both teams had
chances to win in regulation and the first
overtime and the Cadets thought they had
the game won when they hit a free throw
with under five seconds remaining before
Johnson’s heroics.

10. Women’s
basketball almost
beats Miss. St.

The UAlbany women’s basketball team
almost pulled off the upset of the season
over winter break. The Danes played 1 6th-
ranked Mississippi State to the final
minute ina five-point loss to the Bulldogs
at the Recreation and Convocation Center
(RACC). UAlbany pulled to within three
with under a minute to play, but the
Bulldogs hit a pair of free throws right
after and the Danes never threatencd
again.


Sports

20 Friday, May 4, 2001 ALBANY STUDENT PRESS

Spring Sports Review

Men’s Baseball

Record: 14-27%
Season Highs: A
doubleheader sweep of Lafayette
in late March; winning four of
first five home games after a

rough opening season road
schedule.
ey.
Season Low: Drop-

ping 9 of first 10 games and15 of
first 19. The team has played a lot
better since mid-April.

Standout Performers:
Mike Oliva- hit .436 this season
and set the single-season school
record for hits already with 65;
third on the team with five home
runs and led the team in hits, dou-
bles, total bases and RBI this sea-
son.

Jake Toms- batted .342 with
10 doubles, four home runs and
29 RBI; came through with many
clutch hits over course of the sca-
son.

Courtesy of Sports Information,
After a rough start, UAlbany has
enjoyed a lot more success over the
last month of the season.

Michael Tecklenburg- hit
seven home runs and drove in 29
while batting .319; was third on
the team with a .541 slugging
percentage.

Mike Kuebler- batted .315
with four home runs and 25 RBI;
also had nine doubles over the
course of the season.

Steve Checksfield- batted
307 while leading the team with
eight home runs; second on_ the
team in doubles with 11 and third
in RBI with 30.

Summary: Aficr a rough
start which saw the Great Danes
drop six of their first seven games
in Florida and 15 of their first 19
overall, UAlbany has bounced
back and won 10 of their past 22
games. The schedule was more
challenging than in year’s past
and had the team playing on the
road for a majority of the season.
Seniors Oliva, Kuebler, Tecklen-
burg, and Checksfield were the
mainstays on the team along with
Toms and shortstop Mike Grasso.
The team batting average was
.293 and they averaged 6.7 runs
per game but lost a number of
games carly in the season
because of pitching. However,
over appoximately the — past
month, the pitching has improved
and has only allowed a run scor-
ing total over seven once over the
past two weeks, a stretch of 12
games.

Outlook: The pitching

staff was young this year and has

stepped up late and the Danes
will look for that to carry over
into next season. The lineup, on
the other hand, loses a lot with
the loss of Oliva, Tecklenburg,
Kuebler and Checksfield. UAI-
bany will look to fill these posi-
tions with the players they have
and the new recruits that they
have coming in next season,
along with adding to their lack of
pitching depth by the beginning
of next spring.

Men’s Lacrosse

Record: 3-8

Season Highs: a 15-9
victory over Boston College, the
tcam’s first of the season; a come
from behind win over Harford to
break a five-game losing streak.

Season Low: the five-game
losing streak in the middle of the
season saw the Danes drop two
close games to Vermont and But-
ler, followed by blowout losses to
Rutgers, Yale, and Stony Brook.

Standout Performers:

Jim Lindsay- \ed the team in scor-
ing with 14 goals and 23 assists
for 37 points, despite only play-
ing cight games.

Sal Massa- tied for second
on team in scoring (23 points);
scored 13 goals and added 10
assists.

Michael Solazzo- \ed team in
goals scored with 16 and tied for
second in points scored with 23.

Mike Arnone- the goalkeeper
stopped 55 percent of the shots he
faced this season.

Summary: The
Danes were a young team for the
most part that struggled through-
out the season. The competition
they played was very tough,
including nationally ranked
teams UMass and Rutgers. After
dropping their first two games,
the Great Danes defcated Boston
College before losing their next
five. UAlbany won two of their
final three games, defeating Hart-
ford and Wagner before falling to
Colgate. Lindsay, Massa, and
Solazzo did most of the scoring
for the Great Danes while Arnone
provided stability in the net all
season.

Great |

Courtesy of Sports Information.

The defense of Nivan Oladipo will
be missed by UAlbany next season.

Outlook: — The Danes lose
Arnone in goal and Ntyan
Oladipo and Mike Maresca on
defense, both tough to replace.
First-year coach Scott Marr will
necd to fill these voids quickly,
but does have all of his top scor-
ers returning which is a plus for
the Danes going into next season.

Team of the Season

Men’s Track &
Field

Record: 3-0*

Season High: The Penn
Relays where both junior Jamie
Rodriguez and Marlon Monroe
qualified for IC4A’s. Rodriguez
won his heat of the 5000-meter
run in a personal best time of
14:29 while Monroe placed sec-
ond in the triple jump and fifth in
the high jump with leaps of
48-05.25 and 6-09, respectively.

Season Low: A on
mid-season invitational at Syra-
cuse, where the Danes seemed to
have overall flat performances.

Standout Performers:
Jamie Rodriguez- the junior ran
the second fastest 5000-meter run
in school history with his 14:29
effort at the Penn Relays. He was
also the first UAlbany track ath-
lete to win an individual event at
that meet.

Marlon Monroe- recently
qualified for the IC4A’s in both
the high jump and triple jump,
placing second in the triple and
fifth in the high jump at the Penn
Relays. He jumped 48-05.25 in
the triple jump and 6-09 in the
high jump

Adam Rice- another middle
distance standout, he ran two of
the top ten times in school histo-
ry in the steeple chase with a 9:38
and a 9:35 at both the Raleigh
and Sea Ray relays respectively.
The junior also ran a team best
3:58 in the 1500 at the Syracuse
Invitational.

Summary: The team still
has the Albany Spring Classic
and IC4A competition to com-
pete in, but overall the team has
done rather well, highlighted by a
few individual performances.
The field events have been rather
strong with solid performances
from high jumpers John Morris
and Marlon Monroe, compli-
mented by solid output from the
distance and middle distance
squad. The Danes won the only
scoring meet that they competed
in, beating Holy Cross, Williams,
Sacred Heart and Hartford at
University Field.

Outlook: The Danes are
graduating nine seniors in key
events after this season, and must
be replaced with upcoming ath-
letes and freshmen if they want to
maintain the level of competi-
tiveness that they are at right
now. The area they will be hurt-
ing in the most will be the field
events where they lose six of the
nine seniors. The middle distance
and distance events are where
they are hurt the least, as they are
only losing two seniors and are
expecting some — promising
recruits. The team will also be
missing some sprinters as some
of the field event athletes double
as sprinters, but overall the team
looks to be rather strong next
year as younger athletes com-
bined with a quality class of
freshmen recruits should fill in
the missing roles.

Women’s Softball
Record: 22-23

Season High: Seven game
win-streak from April 12-21 to go
two games over .500 for the first
time in the season.

Season Low: Starting the
first 10 games of the season with
a 2-8 record.

Standout Performers:
Valerie Terry- had a .400 season
batting avg., led the team with 45
stolen bases, and also had a .902
fielding percentage.

Lynnette Bohannon- \ed the
team in home runs (6), and RBI
(27). Bohannon also batted .333
and had a .931 fielding percent-
age

Sarah Maida- had 24 deci-
sions in 30 appearances going 10-
14 with a 3.19 ERA in 145
innings pitched. Maida also
recorded four saves on the sea-
son.

Summary: After starting the
season at 2-8 during their stretch
of games in Florida the Danes
fought their way back with a five-
game win streak to 7-8. The team
hovered around .500 for the next
11 games until a seven-game win
streak pushed them two games
over .500 for the first time all
year. During that streak, Maida
showed impressive endurance
winning all four games she
pitched in. The Danes swept dou-
ble-headers against Niagara,
Maryland-Eastern Shore, and St.
Rose during the streak. The team
stayed above .500 for the next
nine games until a five-game skid
against Vermont, Cornell, and
Niagara landed them two games
under again. With the double-
header split against Vermont the
Danes had their fifth 20-win sea-
son in a row. They are currently
22-23 with a double-header
against Alabama remaining.

Women’s Lacrosse

Record: 5-10

Season High: A couple of
two-game winning streaks that
brought the Danes to the .500
mark both times.

Season Low: The final two
losses of the season were both
games the Great Danes could

have and should have won
against St. Bonaventure and
Wagner.

Courtesy of Sports Information.

The Great Danes have won at least
20 games for the past five seasons.

Outlook: The outlook for
next season is very good as the
Danes lose only one senior in
Nikki Carella. Standout perform-
ers Terry, Maida, and Bohannon
are all coming back next season
and will provide excellent leader-
ship for the up and coming fresh-
men. The fact that this team will
have a conference and an oppor-
tunity to play in the national tour-
nament next year will be a huge
motivating factor and can only
lead to better play.

Courtesy of Sports Information.
Maria Ferrucci led the Danes in
goals scored and points for the
second consecutive season.

Standout Performers:
Dawn Di Micco- the school’s all-
time scoring leader, was third on
the team in scoring with 41 points
(25 goals, 16 assists) and had
more than double her nearest
teammate in ground balls with
86.

Andrea Esposito- second on
the team in scoring with 44
points, scored 21 goals and led
the team in assists with 23.

Maria Ferrucci- |ed the team
in goals for the second straight
season with 42; was the team’s
leading scorer with 45 points.

Alexis DiDomenico- was
third on the team in goals scored
with 23 and fourth in scoring
with 26 points.

Summary: After getting
blown out in the first two games
of the season, the Danes rebound-
ed with two wins to even their
record. UAlbany proceeded to
drop three of their next four
including a tough two-goal loss
to Manhattan as well as a close
win over Vermont. The team then
won two straight over Quinnipiac
and Le Moyne to even their
record at 5-5 before dropping
their final five games of the sea-
son. Two of those five were to
nationally ranked UMass and a
very strong Holy Cross team
before those two tough losses to
St. Bonaventure and Wagner. Di
Micco, Esposito, Ferrucci, and
DiDomenico handled most of the
scoring load for the Danes
throughout the season while
Katie Cunningham, Liz Adamo,
and Erin Finnegan were the back-
bone of the Dane defense.

Outlook: Next season,
the Danes return a good nucleus
of players, but lose Di Micco,
Alexis Esposito and Katie Cun-
ningham to graduation. Thé loss
of these seniors will be a huge
setback for the Danes, but they
will return a large part of their
scoring punch and most of their
midfield and defense as well. The
team will look to improve their
depth next season for a team that
was lacking numbers throughout
the season this year.

Continued on page 18


Sports

Friday, May 4, 2001 ALBANY STUDENT PRESS

21

Algebra | oe es CAD | ee | Anatomy & Physiology | Computer Apps | Intro to

DORAMGE CGRKTY RQUMLMITT COLLEGE

By BRIAN SCHLAKS
Staff Writer

Join us Graduation Weekend...

Annual Grecian Festival

May 18 6-11 p.m.
May 19 noon-11 p.m.
May 20 noon-8 p.m.

St. Sophia Greek Orthodox Church
440 Whitehall R., Abany

(between Manning Blvd. & New Scotland)
Free Admission. Call 489-4442

The men’s and women’s
track teams competed at two
meets this past weekend. The
first was the 107th Annual Penn
Relays at Franklin Field.

Marlon Monroe leaped a
personal-best 48-feet, 5.25-inch-
es to place second in the eastern
triple jump behind champion
Jeka Luhahi, of Western Michi-
gan. Luhahi posted a mark of 48-
08. Monroe qualified for the
IC4A championships in Prince-
ton, New Jersey on May 17-20.

In addition, the Great Danes
were I8th in the women’s 4x800
relay with a time of 9:13.40. Jes-
sica Walton (2:17.4), Diane
Matthews (2:16.7), Dinnah Deca-
tus (2:16.5) and Jessica Burger
(2:22.7) were the relay’s mem-
bers.

On Friday, Monroe took fifth
in the eastern high jump with an
IC4A-qualifying mark of 6-feet,
9-inches. UAlbany’s John Morris
was 11th in the competition with
a mark of 6-07.50. Naron Stewart
jumped 6’6.5”

Jamie Rodriguez became the
first athlete in school history to
win an individual event at Penn
Relays when he finished first in
the college section 5,000-meter
run. Rodriguez, who took the
lead with one lap remaining, ran

Spring Sports Review

Continued from page 20
Women’s Track &

Field

Record: 2-1*

Season High: Penn Relays
where the 1600-meter relay won
their heat,in a time of 3:56 and
the 3200-meter relay ran a time
of 9:13 to finish 18th.

Season Low: Loss _ to
Williams College at a home quad
meet in early April.

Standout Performers:
Jessica Walton- the freshman has
been consistent all season in the
800 and 1500-meters, qualifying
for the Junior National Champi-
onships in the 1500 with a time
of 4:40.

Tammy Freeman- a consis-
tent leg on the 4x400-relay as
well as a scorer in both the 200
and 400-meter dashes.

4x800-meter relay- shattered
the school record with a time of
9:09 at the Raleigh Relays.

Summary: After a suc-
cessful opening weekend which
saw some athletes compete at
West Point and at Raleigh, the
Danes returned home and lost a
disappointing meet to Williams
College in their first home meet
of the season. The team then trav-
eled to Tennessee for the Sea Ray
Relays where they turned in a
number of good performances.
UAlbany then traveled to Syra-
cuse, almost as a tune up for the
Penn Relays this past weekend,
where the relay squads ran well.
The Great Danes have one meet
left, the Albany Spring Classic on
Friday, May I1, where they will
try and qualify more people for
the ECAC Division I Champi-
onships the following weekend.

Outlook: | UAlbany grad-
uates only four seniors in Seidah
Abu-Bakir, Jessica Burger, Alli-
son Goodspeed, and Charlene
Williamston. The loss of Abu-
Bakir and Burger will be large
shoes to fill, but the depth of this
particular team should leave
them with no problem, especially
with the new recruits they will

have coming in next season.
Women’s Tennis

Record: 5-12
(Fall/Spring record)

Season High: Two wins ina
row against Marist and Sacred
Heart 7-0 and 5-2, respectively

Season Low: Losing four
straight matches by a margin of
7-0 in each.

Standout Performers:
Violeta Petijevic- the Danes first
singles player throughout the
season.

Erinn Langford- the senior
finished her career with 34 sin-
gles victories and 44 at doubles.

Summary: The Danes
started the season even, splitting
their first two matches, but went
on to lose four straight by a 7-0
margin in each match. The team
rebounded and went on to win
their next two matches against
Marist and Sacred Heart, but then
dropped their last four of the sea-
son, winning only one individual
match in that stretch.

Outlook: Albany looks
to improve upon the season with
all players returning except one ©
of their top performers in Erinn
Langford. Current team members
will have to step up to fill her
spot along with quality freshmen
in order to improve next season.
*Season yet to be completed

a personal-best 14:29.55 to edge
Boston College’s Justin Burdon
by 24-hundredths of a second.
Rodriguez’s time ranks second
on Albany’s all-time performance
chart behind school record-hold-
er William Vanos, and also quali-
fies him for the IC4A champi-
onships.

“T expected the pace to be
much faster,” said Rodriguez,
whose previous best effort was
14:34.60 at North Carolina
State’s Raleigh Relays in March.
“There were 10 or 12 runners
near the lead with one mile to go.
I was not tired and still felt
strong. It was the kind of race
where you have take the situation
given, and I went for the lead
with a half mile left and didn’t
look back.”

The Great Danes also placed
fifth in the men’s CTC 4x400-
meter relay. The squad of Aggrey
Morris (51.1), Ike Cherry (51.1),
Ed Fotiades (49.6) and Noel
Campbell (50.2) posted a time of
3:22.34. The shuttle hurdle relay
finished second in their section
with a time of 60.63. The team
consisted of Charles Young
(15.3), Paul Roche (14.7), Dane
Winget (15.2) and Dan Agosto
(14.9) who all ran seasonal best
splits.

Tammy Freeman sprinted
58.1 seconds on the second leg to
lead UAlbany to a first-place fin-
ish in the women’s CTC 4x400-

UAlbany track teams have good weekend

meter relay. The Great Danes
covered the track in 3:56.69, and
were 38-hundredths of a second
better than runner-up Southern
Connecticut State. Jessica Burger
went 59.6 seconds on UAlbany’s
first leg, with Dinnah Decatus
(59.1) and Diane Matthews
(59.6) rounding out the second
half of the relay.

The team’s second meet was
at the RPI Invitational on April
28 at the Ned Harness Track.

Seidah Abu-Bakir sprinted
15.96 seconds in the 100-hurdles,
and ran the 200 meters in 25.95,
taking first place in both events.
Nierria Jones leaped 35-feet, one-
inch to win the triple jump, while
Stacy Kupcheni took the javelin
with a toss of 109-6.

Andrea Sweet placed second
in the 400-hurdles and long jump.
Other second-place finishers
were Katie Van Vorst (high jump)
and Cherice’ Vanderhall (shot
put).

UAlbany had six athletes in
the men’s competition earn sec-
ond-place finishes, including
Chris Phillis (100-meter dash),
Chad Plaines (200-meter dash),
Shaun Empie (pole vault), Justin
Marino (javelin), Dane Winget
(400-hurdles) and Brandon
Howlett (discus).


22. Friday, May 4, 2001 ALBANY STUDENT PRESS

Baseball wins
two straight

By MIKE KIERNAN
Sports Editor

Mike Kuebler singled in the
go-ahead runs in the eighth
inning on Wednesday afternoon
to lead. Albany to a 6-4 victory
over Bridgeport.

Kuebler’s two-run single to
left field broke a 4-4 tie. The win
was the second straight for the
Danes (14-27) after dropping six
of their previous cight games.

Albany overcame a 3-0
deficit when Steve Checksfield
hit his eighth home run of the sea-
son, a two-run shot in the fourth
inning, followed by a Mike Oliva
RBI single in the fifth. Oliva,
who singled three times, broke
the school’s single-season total
hits record in the game.

Bridgeport’s Matt Donohue
broke the tic in the top of the
eighth with a solo home run to
centerfield. The Great Danes
came back once again in the bot-
tom half of the inning. Michacl
Tecklenburg tied the game with a
RBI single, which was followed
by Kucbler’s game-winning hit.

The Great Danes split six
games over the past weck, start-
ing with a doubleheader split at

ails,

Jamie Boyer had five hits,
including a home run, and drove
in four runs to lead Binghamton
to a doubleheader sweep over
Albany on Saturday afternoon.
The Bearcats came from behind
to win in both games, taking the
first, 6-3 and the second, 7-5.

Albany scored three times in
the top of the third inning of the
first game for a 3-0 lead, but the
Bearcats scored once in the fifth
and twice in the sixth to tie the
game. Tyler McGonigal and Kyle
Loucks each had RBI singles in a
three-run eighth inning for the
Bearcats to break the 3-3 tie.

The Danes once again
jumped out to an early lead in the
nightcap, scoring twice in the first
and third innings for a 4-0 lead.
The Bearcats came right back in
the fourth inning, scoring four
runs to tie the game. An Oliva
sacrifice fly in the bottom of the
fourth gave the Danes a 5-4 lead,
but Binghamton scored twice in
the sixth when Boyer scored on a
passed ball and Martin Cadieux
singled in the go-ahead run.

Tecklenburg had three hits,
including a double, and scored
two runs on the day for Albany.

The following day, Toms
doubled, singled twice and scored

Courtesy of Sports Information

Steve Checksfield hit his eighth home run of the season on Wednesday in

UAlbany’s come-from-behind victory.

vers
“centag

Women’s lacrosse drops last
two of the season

By Amy Di Micco
Staff Writer

Niagara last Thursday. The
Purple Eagles’ Steve Venerus and
Tom Vasile held Albany to three
hits in the first game en route to a
5-0 win.

Vencrus struck out four and
walked one in five innings of
work, allowing only a second-
inning single by Jake Toms.
Niagara scored three times in the
first and once cach in the fourth
and sixth innings in the win.

Toms had four hits, including
a two-run double in the nightcap
to lead Albany to a 12-5 win. The
Great Danes scored 10 runs in the
first inning, sending 15 batters to
the plate in the frame.

Checksfield drove in three
runs in the inning, two on a single
to centerfield. Toms drove in two
with a double to left field and
Mike Grasso doubled home two
more runs. Mike Muller got the
win for Albany, throwing five and
two-thirds innings.

three runs to lead the Danes to a
12-4 victory over the Bearcats.

The two teams each scored
three runs in the fifth inning to
open the scoring and the Bearcats
took a 4-3 lead in the sixth on a
RBI single by Tom Cummings.

The Great Danes responded
with a six-run seventh. Kuebler
lined a two-run double down the
left field line to put the Danes
ahead. Grasso followed with a
run-scoring single and Toms sin-
gled in two more runs.

Tecklenburg hit a three-run
homer in the ninth to put the
game out of reach. Ryan Pitt
allowed three earned runs over
seven and one-third innings for
the win.

The Great Danes, who
played St. Rose on Thursday
night, next host Stony Brook on
Saturday and Sunday afternoon at
12:00.

On Saturday, the UAlbany
women’s lacrosse team played
their final home game against St.
Bonventure. St. Bonventure led
the entire game until Albany
began to rally back from a 13-9
deficit, scoring four times over an
eight-minute period.

Dawn Di Micco, who led the
scoring for the Danes with four
goals and two assists, and Alexis
DiDomenico each scored twice in
that stretch. Di Micco’s second
goal was a free-position shot
inside the far post with 1:44
remaining in the game.

St. Bonventure retaliated on
the next possession and was able
to score to re-take the lead.
Albany had one last try as they
got the ball off of the face off, but
were unable to capitalize. St.
Bonventure came away with the
14-13 victory over the Danes.

Albany’s DiDomenico fin-
ished with four goals, while
Andrea Esposito added one goal
and three assists.

For  co-captains Katie
Cunningham and Alexis
Esposito, and midfielder Dawn
Di Micco, this was the last home
game of their careers. Before the
game there was a ceremony rec-

ognizing — the
hard work and |
dedication that |
these three ath-
letes put into §
the program.

“Ss ¢Bbiuy
day was very
emotional,”
Alexis Esposito §
said. “I am glad
that I was able
to share it with
the girls on the
team. We have
grown so close,
and I couldn’t
have asked for
anything
more.”

The Danes week

Courtesy of Sports Information

Alexis Esposito finished fifth on the team in scoring this
season, but it was not enough in the Danes two losses this

were on_ the
road for their
final game of the season, where
they faced Wagner. Wagner

- immediately took control as they

jumped out to a 3-0 lead. They
continued to dominate, ending
the first half with a 9-4 lead.

In the second half the Danes
began to rally, closing the score
to within two with 13:13 remain-
ing in the contest off of Maria
Ferrucci’s fourth goal of the
game. That was the last goal
Albany would score for the
remainder of the game, as
Wagner was able to net two more,

making the final score 13-9.

Andrea Esposito had three
goals and three assists, and Dawn
Di Micco, the school’s career
scoring leader with 182 points,
added two goals for the Danes,
who ended the season with a
record of 5-10.

“T am disappointed how the
season went. I feel that we had
more potential than what was
reflected in our performance,”
Cunningham said. “We did come
together more at the end of the
season, but the outcome wasn’t
what I was expecting.”


Sport |
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Softball drops seven

By DAN SAWTELLE
Associate Sports Editor

The Danes tried to continue
their winning ways on Thursday
as they took on Binghamton in a
double-header at Bearcat
Complex.

In the opening game the two
teams found themselves dead-
locked in a 2-2 tie going into the
bottom of ninth. The Danes held
their ground though, not allowing
a run in the inning to send the

started on Chelsey LaRue’s two-
run single. Shortstop Valerie
Terry, who stole her 39th base of
the season in the contest, fol-
lowed with a single and a run.
Sarah Maida upped her record to
10-12 on the season, striking out
10 and scattering six hits. With
the win the Danes reached the 20-
win mark for the fifth straight
year.

In the second game, Vermont
pitcher Kara Massey threw a one-
hit shutout to lead _ the
Catamounts to the 2-0 victory

Courtesy of Sports Information

The Great Danes rebounded from a rough week with a doubleheader sweep

over Army on Wednesday afternoon.

game to the tenth. UAlbany’s
luck ran out however, as
Binghamton third basemen Jen
Richardson drove in the winning
run with a single.

The second game would not
prove to be much better for the
Danes as Bearcat _ pitcher
Michelle Wecks fired a 10-strike-
out three-hitter to improve her
season record to 6-9 and to lead
Binghamton to the 3-1 victory.
UAlbany jumped out to an carly
1-0 lead in the top of the first but
that was quickly erased when the
Bearcats scored their only three
runs of the game in the fifth.

The Danes came back home
the following day to take on
Vermont in a double-header at
Albany Field. In the opener the

-Danes dominated from the get-go
scoring six runs in the first three
innings, five in the bottom of the
third alone to take the game, 6-1..

The five-inning outburst was

while carning her third win of the
season. Massey struck out five,
and walked one, surrendering her
only hit to Lynnette Bohannon in
the fourth.

On Saturday, Cornell came
into town to take on the Danes in
their last home home game of the
ycar in a double-header at Albany
Field.

It would prove to be a disap-
pointing last homestand though
as Big Red pitchers Stephanie
Sterman and Nicole Zitarelli each
fired four-hit shutouts. The first
game saw the two teams score-
less going into the top of the fifth
when Allison Batten hit a grand
slam over the center-field fence
to break the game open. Neither
team would score the remainder
of the game, as the Big Red took
the contest, 4-0.

In the second game, Cornell
took advantage of Albany mis-
takes as they scored two

unearned runs in the top of the
third and never looked back,
scoring another in the top of the
fifth to take the game 3-0. Terry
had a pair of singles on the day
for the Danes.

UAlbany continued their los-
ing skid on Monday, getting
swept by Niagara in a double-
header 7-4 and 3-2 at Niagara
Field.

In the opener, Niagara got
out to a 1-0 lead in the bottom of
the ninth and failed to relinquish
the lead the rest of the game,
leading by as many as five runs.
Randi Lawton had a big day
against the Danes, going 4-for-4
at the plate while also scoring a
pair of runs.

The nightcap proved to be a
much closer game as the Danes
were down by a single run in the
top of the seventh with the tying
and winning runs aboard.
Niagara reliever Tegan Bennett
worked her way out of the jam
though to get the save and help
Niagara to the 3-2 win. Terry
totaled three hits and two stolen
bases on the day.

On Wednesday, UAlbany
traveled to West Point to take on
Army in a double-header at
Buffalo Soldier Field.

In the first game, Maida fired
a three-hit shutout to earn her
11th victory and third shutout this
season, striking out seven while
only issuing two walks. The
Danes took a 2-0 lead in the first
inning and never looked back,
scoring three more runs in the
seventh in a 5-0 victory. Terry
singled and scored in the first
inning, and LaRue drove in a pair
of runs.

In the nightcap, Army tied
the game at three apiece in the
bottom of the fourth on Becky
Tsuchiya’s RBI single to center-
field. Bohannon broke the tie for
good however in the top of sixth
when she smacked her sixth
home run of the season. Maida
then came on in relief for Amy
Hawk in the seventh, sending the
Black Knight’s down in order to
pick up the save in the 4-3 win.
Terry totaled four hits, two runs,
two RBI and five stolen bases on
the day. With the win, the Danes
upped their record to 22-23 over-
all on the season, with a double-
header against Alabama remain-
ing on Friday.

Men’s lacrosse

drops final game
of the season

By DAN KINNE
Staff Writer

The UAlbany men’s lacrosse
team lost their season finale, 14-6
to Colgate on Saturday afternoon
at Varsity Field.

Colgate senior midfielder
David Dobbins had four of his
five goals in the first half, as

| Colgate dominated every aspect

of the game. Colgate (3-9)
jumped out right away, scoring
five goals in the first quarter to
give them control early.

Dobbins, who tallied three
goals in the first quarter, blasted a
shot into the far post just 18 sec-
onds into the contest. Also lead-
ing Colgate in control was Obie
Bate, a sophmore attack who
added three more first-half goals
to go into half-time leading, 9-2.

UAlbany (3-8) junior attack
Jim Lindsay played aggressively
on the offensive end, scoring two
goals and assisting on two others.
Senior goalkeeper Mike Arnone
tried to do his part by stopping 15
of 29 shots from Colgate.

Five different UAlbany play-
ers scored goals in the game but it
wasn’t enough as the Red Raiders
took the contest. The UAlbany
program headed by new coach
Scott Marr ended the 2001 season
with a record of 3-9.

The Danes played strong
through the whole season, and
battled some of the best teams in
the nation including number eight
UMass, and number 19 Rutgers.

They lost a couple of games
against Vermont and Butler by no
more than four goals, and were in
the games all the way to the end.

The great moments in the
season however came on the win-
ning side of the scorecard. The
win against Hartford was a big
one for the Danes as they came
from behind to win the game in
the final quarter. Another major
accomplishment of the season
was the improvement of the play-
ers altogether.

As a young team, many of
the freshmen players had to step
up and play a_ considerable
amount of time. There was a lot
of experience gained this year by
all of the underclassmen to take
into next season. Seniors such as
Niyan Oladipo, Mike Arnone,
Mike Maresca, Kris Bremer, and
Tim Shea provided great leader-
ship for the team and came
through in the clutch in many
games.

Freshman Mike Solazzo led
the team this year in goals scored,
while Jim Lindsay, who only
played in eight games, led in
assists (23), and points (37).
Senior goalie Mike Arnone had
173 saves on the season, which
will be greatly missed next sea-
son. Overall, the UAlbany
lacrosse program looks to be
gaining experience as time goes
on. Next year the team will be in
the Northeast Conference, and
has the oppurtunity to gain a bid
to the NCAA playoffs.

Courtesy of Sports Information

Senior Mike Maresca and the Danes lost their final game of the season to

Colgate on Saturday, 14-6.